When someone looks at you and tells you who you are, what they're describing is not you at all. They're defining themselves, because they are telling you what they see.
They are describing the eye, and not the object.
And this is true whether the description is negative or positive.
If I tell you how wonderful I think you are, what I'm telling you is the response my heart has to what I observe...that teeny-tiny fraction of what I observe, in fact. I am describing to you the you that you have shown me, and only you can tell how accurate it is or is not, because only you know how honest you have been with me, and how open you've been, and how deeply you've let me in. And the more honest you've been with me, the more you can trust my observation.
But if you've lied to me, then my observation is as untrustworthy as your openness. And only you can know that as well.
I trust that what I see when I see you is genuine and sincere, but I'd be a fool to swear that my observation is all there is to who you are. How two-dimensional THAT would be! And so while I trust your honesty and the reality of my perception, I don't dismiss the idea that, on a bad day, you might be capable of being a little shit!
But the neat thing is...if I remain objective about who you are, I can love the little shit just as much as I love the wise and shining prince!
They are describing the eye, and not the object.
And this is true whether the description is negative or positive.
If I tell you how wonderful I think you are, what I'm telling you is the response my heart has to what I observe...that teeny-tiny fraction of what I observe, in fact. I am describing to you the you that you have shown me, and only you can tell how accurate it is or is not, because only you know how honest you have been with me, and how open you've been, and how deeply you've let me in. And the more honest you've been with me, the more you can trust my observation.
But if you've lied to me, then my observation is as untrustworthy as your openness. And only you can know that as well.
I trust that what I see when I see you is genuine and sincere, but I'd be a fool to swear that my observation is all there is to who you are. How two-dimensional THAT would be! And so while I trust your honesty and the reality of my perception, I don't dismiss the idea that, on a bad day, you might be capable of being a little shit!
But the neat thing is...if I remain objective about who you are, I can love the little shit just as much as I love the wise and shining prince!
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