I know, I know....

[anahata56]

It's been a long time since I've been here. In all honesty, life has been busy at best, crushingly so at worst. And I've found myself in this wordless place--probably because I've found myself in a place that has had life and circumstances swirling so madly around me that there has been no space to think a thought, let alone craft a sentence worthy

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[anahata56]

I guess my biggest betrayal of them is that I actually did choose to have a life of my own--one that I still want. But the Irish got it right when they said, "A son is your son till he takes him a wife/A daughter's a daughter for all of her life." Because, yeah, it is the daughter who takes this role, and yeah, the sons get excused from taking the duty time and time again, with a free ride all along the way.

My brother and his wife have done NOTHING for that old man since he came home from their house. NOTHING. And are they rejected, or made to feel guilty about that? Not in the least. But me? Oh, the guilt gets dragged out time and time again, over and over, whenever I speak to my father--and I have been told that I must speak to him at least once a day. I guess that's to remind me of my obligations....

But the thing is...I don't want to hate my parents. I don't want to hate my family. I don't want to resent their presence in my life. But the more they eat my life, the more resentment builds up. And how absolutely pathetic is it that they would rather have begrudging obligation from their children than a sufficient amount of their attention but with enough room to live their lives?

I just don't understand, at all, how this can possibly be a winning situation for them, let alone me...