(no subject)
You're the psychotic grin,and no one can quite tell
if you're insane or just really hyper.You scare
people,and i mean scare them a lot.Kati'd be
friends with you though.You two could have
sleepovers together and make pasta at 4 am.
What Kind of Smile are You?
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I really don't think I COULD be any sort of smile right now, but yeah. Trust me though, that so called "smile" plastered across my lips... is not because I'm hyper. But anyway...
I return.
Just started a new job on Tuesday. Well, the training anyway. Tuesday was the worst day of it all since it was so damn boring. Wednesday was fun because we got to learn all about "True Colors," a little program thing that tells us what sort of personalities we have. I ended up being an "Orange" person, meaning that I'm hyper, don't like rules, I like to do things on only a moment's notice, and blah. Hmm... I guess I'd never really looked at myself in THAT way, but now looking back... it fits. *shrugs*
Thursday was okay, as was Friday. I don't remember either day, really. I had to walk for quite a way on Friday though, because I didn't have cash on me for a cab and I wasn't able to get a hold of Ceci to give me a ride. It didn't help that it was cold outside, and it REALLY didn't help that who should pass me by but MOTHER, who insisted that I ride with her and her new boy toy. I refused, and finally got to a hotel where I ran into the bathroom and was able to get my cell phone charged enough to work and call Ceci. Mother tried to run after me, but I made it away from her. I really, really don't want anything to do with her, but... *sigh*
Maybe I -SHOULD- just go back and live with her for awhile. I really have nothing left BUT her so...
No. I'm talking out of confusion. I really shouldn't have thoughts like this... I remember how horrible it was to live in that house with... her...
Anyway...
Training seems to be decent. I think that I probably won't like this job, but it pays good and then I'll finally be able to get myself a decent car and then I can leave. I really, really am sick of this place. I mean, sure NYC is fun and there are plenty of things to do, but...
It is pointless when you have no one to share anything with. There is a college that I admire and perhaps I'll go there one fine day. I really don't know what is going to happen with my life from this point on, but... *shrug* then again, I am at this point where I really don't care.
Since the initial day of my training, life has been nothing but shower, train, eat, sleep, shower, train, eat, sleep, shower, train, eat, sleep.
No meaning at all. I'm just happy that after these four weeks are over, my life will have a little bit of a schedule change. I mean, the "train" part of my day will change to "work." Woo.
Another song to describe my moment. Yes. From ATB's new cd (of course I have it! Not having it would be the death of me!)
ATB - Everything is Wrong
Show me your disguise
My complicated soul
My insulated cold and borrowed
Show me where you'll hide
When everything is bold
When I can't even scold tomorrow
CHORUS:
I tried to say I'm sorry
But everyone was gone
The clouds betray the story
And everything
Everything is wrong
Careful what you say
The center never folds
The past is always gold tomorrow
I can hear you sigh
From half a smile away
The bills are never paid with sorrow
CHORUS:
Maybe it's too late
To start another page
To finish what we've made with violence
In between the lines
There's nothing left to say
There's nothing left to break but silence
Enough said.
~Lilyth