Fedora Hat - Chapter 10
Yes I know it has taken me longer than I promised but you have to be patient with me on this... my muse gone somewhere and I'm trying to find it...
Anyway here we have a little glimpse to how this one night experience turned out on both of our characters lifes.
Thank you to all of you who are still here with me... I trully admmire you! (I would ive up long ago if it wasn't for your support!! so I would like to dedicate this chap to my dearest friend
little_me_doll for nagging about how ahe wants to see evil junsu ^^'
to
howlsgirl for endless inspiration!!
and
attentionseekin for simply being here ^^
Title: Fedora Hat
Pairing: 2U (Yunho/Yoochun)
Genre : romance
Rating: PG - NC17
Summary: Two different worlds... two differend people... everything stopped when they met...
previous chapters if you need them ^^'
( 01 )( 02 )( 03 )( 04 )( 05 )( 06 )( 07 )( 08 )( 09 )
Chapter 10 Miserable
A fireball, a comet, that’s how many call him. Forever moving, forever dashing through the universe. Never stopping, never losing speed. He never stayed long enough to warm a place he was sitting at. In a blink of an eye ha was gone to another place, leaving only faint memory and no promise of a comeback.
Not once, did he sway off course nor did he change it in the middle. Sticking to his schedules, he didn’t let anyone or anything stop him on his way. Running through life at a speed of light not worrying about yesterday and planning for tomorrow - that’s how he came to accept his existence.
Yet the laws of this universe failed him… for a comet should forever fly through black space sometimes rubbing against other (celestial) bodies to finally die out somewhere in unknown place, without unnecessary witnesses. Who would have thought something like this would occur… an ice cold meteor blazing with eternal fire speeding for over 20 years run straight into another one… maybe not a meteor… maybe not a comet… maybe more of a shooting star - the details didn’t matter.
What mattered though was the fact that after this catastrophic clash has left Yunho blind, deaf, numb, and speechless. His speed vanished leaving only vacuum to fill his lungs and mind whereas the other just sped off leaving him in dark cold room. This horrific collision shattered his icicle body into million pieces and although it took him almost 2 months to gather every last piece and put it back together he was sure one of them was missing… the most important one.
Yes, he was sure the mysterious man had stolen something very important, so important it was hard to breathe or think without it and yet he had never suspected he had it before. He was looking for it everywhere: in nightclubs, in houses of pleasure, in fancy restaurants and at his office, not to mention all over his apartment… it was gone…
Sitting here in his new car he snapped back to life with a laugh of a child running passed. He casted one last gaze at the thief and drove off to his apartment.
***
Pain, breath taking, soul crushing, mind killing pain. No matter what he did, how much he drunk, how hard he worked it would never leave him. The memory of the sun-kissed skin seemed to leave a burned imprint on his fingertips and lips. Images and sounds craved into his brain haunted him every night making him scream and moan with frustration he didn’t think he possessed. He would curse himself when his hands would travel down to the place he didn’t expect to feel alive again.
In pleasure there was even more grief and pain, restless he would travel the streets at night trying to find the meaning of this all. He would look at the sky in search of something, anything that could help him.
Shooting star… good luck! Make a wish! That’s what everyone believe in. For him a shooting star has never been a good sign. He didn’t wish upon it. Whenever his eyes would gaze at one he would close them and sigh with a heavy heart. For him it meant that this poor wonder lost its power to hover above the Earth in a sea of glitter and was now falling to face certain death.
How clearly he remembered… that night, at midnight one little bright star run across the sky heading towards the horizon. He smiled make a wish he thought and so he did. Closing his eyes he uttered soundlessly To be with him forever. His wish must’ve gotten lost somewhere as the wind carried the words away and never reached heavens for that night he came back to an empty apartment. A lonely note on his old piano read ‘Bye love bye.’ His world ended, like that shooting star he started falling into death’s embrace.
Not carrying when and how he would end his existence. He would live from day to day not a care on his mind. He wished for the end to come, inviting every opportunity and yet nothing happened. He was to remain in constant fall until this beautiful stranger simply stormed into his little world. Like a comet he appeared out of nowhere and without any effort he forced his eyes to look, his hands to touch, his lips to taste and by the time Yoochun managed to understand any of this it was too late. With his heart pierced once again, he run to his shelter to heal his wounds.
***
They say ‘time is the best healer’, ‘…it takes time’ so why this all mighty, highly praised ‘time’ didn’t do anything for him?! Why was it so damn hard to get up in the morning to face another day?! How was he supposed to forget when all he did was reminisce that evening, that night.
He buried himself in work deeper and deeper barely having time to eat or think where and with whom he should go for dinner. Even after big raise and a new title Yunho was far from happy or satisfied with the way things turned out. He was managing his feelings most of the time and all he could wish for now was to forget. Forget this ever happened. Forget he ever met him. Forget his ears ever picked up his whispery words, which made him, feel uncomfortable even now.
The frustration made him violent towards girls he slept with and many times, he would just end up alone in bed with a burning cheek after a slap he had received five seconds before doors to his apartment slammed shut. Curling up into a ball, he would hit the sheets with all the strength he had left. And even if he managed to make anything happen between him and some random whore he dragged home the pleasure wasn’t the same. Why wasn’t it the same!! Why was he constantly searching for stronger, rougher, fiercer experience?! What is wrong with me?? Again, he would lay alone in bed sleepless, miserable.
Once or twice his mind played a trick on him making him think he saw his figure strolling along the street gazing up into the night sky, wearing plain shirt and jeans even though it was mid November already. Yet if he would look again there was no one there. I’m cursed… I’m fucking cursed…
And then there was Changmin, his colleague, a friend or so he thought. This little sneaky weasel was promoted the same time he did and now he was in charge of production on one of the projects Yunho supervised. Now this tall skinny guy would constantly bug him about anything that has happened on the day. What was more annoying was the fact he seemed to like to mention one very important and arrogant musician; and whenever Yunho would even hear slightest hint about ‘that annoying, not doing what I tell him to do pianist’ he would simply throw his younger colleague out of his office hissing about how busy he was.
No time definitely didn’t do anything for him!
***
It was not the first time Yoochun acted before he thought in fact, he did that constantly, but it was not until now that he truly regretted his actions. Putting his name down on that sheet of paper brought to him by this angel appeared to be the worst thing he could’ve done. It brought him exactly to the place he run from all this years ago. The place where he was only pushed to the limit of his abilities lied to and betrayed.
‘Why did you do that Micky’ he would whisper in his drunken state to either a glass or a bottle he held at the time. ‘Why?’
At the beginning, all the promises of giving him free hand with his compositions and themes seemed coming true and he was beginning to like the idea of working with many instruments and fancy electronic equipment. He could fall into the vortex of work forgetting about him but then everything changed. After a month, his managers started to put deadlines, restrictions, and requests that soon changed into demands.
Just like then ages ago, his music was no longer his. It was some artificial creation of someone else’s desires simply written by his hand - nothing more. When he wouldn’t show up at the studio the company would either ring till the phone would consider committing suicide by jumping of the table or have someone bang at the door till he answered.
Living like a dog on a leash taught how and when to bark, Yoochun was beyond wretched. His days didn’t have sun, there was only gloomy fog before his eyes. And now, there was one more thing to bear, thing that scared him the most, press conference. He could feel the stage fright gripping his throat even now when it was not until next week.
Yes Yoochun had never regretted his actions more…
( next chapter )
Anyway here we have a little glimpse to how this one night experience turned out on both of our characters lifes.
Thank you to all of you who are still here with me... I trully admmire you! (I would ive up long ago if it wasn't for your support!! so I would like to dedicate this chap to my dearest friend
little_me_doll for nagging about how ahe wants to see evil junsu ^^'
to
howlsgirl for endless inspiration!!
and
attentionseekin for simply being here ^^
Title: Fedora Hat
Pairing: 2U (Yunho/Yoochun)
Genre : romance
Rating: PG - NC17
Summary: Two different worlds... two differend people... everything stopped when they met...
previous chapters if you need them ^^'
( 01 )( 02 )( 03 )( 04 )( 05 )( 06 )( 07 )( 08 )( 09 )
Chapter 10 Miserable
A fireball, a comet, that’s how many call him. Forever moving, forever dashing through the universe. Never stopping, never losing speed. He never stayed long enough to warm a place he was sitting at. In a blink of an eye ha was gone to another place, leaving only faint memory and no promise of a comeback.
Not once, did he sway off course nor did he change it in the middle. Sticking to his schedules, he didn’t let anyone or anything stop him on his way. Running through life at a speed of light not worrying about yesterday and planning for tomorrow - that’s how he came to accept his existence.
Yet the laws of this universe failed him… for a comet should forever fly through black space sometimes rubbing against other (celestial) bodies to finally die out somewhere in unknown place, without unnecessary witnesses. Who would have thought something like this would occur… an ice cold meteor blazing with eternal fire speeding for over 20 years run straight into another one… maybe not a meteor… maybe not a comet… maybe more of a shooting star - the details didn’t matter.
What mattered though was the fact that after this catastrophic clash has left Yunho blind, deaf, numb, and speechless. His speed vanished leaving only vacuum to fill his lungs and mind whereas the other just sped off leaving him in dark cold room. This horrific collision shattered his icicle body into million pieces and although it took him almost 2 months to gather every last piece and put it back together he was sure one of them was missing… the most important one.
Yes, he was sure the mysterious man had stolen something very important, so important it was hard to breathe or think without it and yet he had never suspected he had it before. He was looking for it everywhere: in nightclubs, in houses of pleasure, in fancy restaurants and at his office, not to mention all over his apartment… it was gone…
Sitting here in his new car he snapped back to life with a laugh of a child running passed. He casted one last gaze at the thief and drove off to his apartment.
***
Pain, breath taking, soul crushing, mind killing pain. No matter what he did, how much he drunk, how hard he worked it would never leave him. The memory of the sun-kissed skin seemed to leave a burned imprint on his fingertips and lips. Images and sounds craved into his brain haunted him every night making him scream and moan with frustration he didn’t think he possessed. He would curse himself when his hands would travel down to the place he didn’t expect to feel alive again.
In pleasure there was even more grief and pain, restless he would travel the streets at night trying to find the meaning of this all. He would look at the sky in search of something, anything that could help him.
Shooting star… good luck! Make a wish! That’s what everyone believe in. For him a shooting star has never been a good sign. He didn’t wish upon it. Whenever his eyes would gaze at one he would close them and sigh with a heavy heart. For him it meant that this poor wonder lost its power to hover above the Earth in a sea of glitter and was now falling to face certain death.
How clearly he remembered… that night, at midnight one little bright star run across the sky heading towards the horizon. He smiled make a wish he thought and so he did. Closing his eyes he uttered soundlessly To be with him forever. His wish must’ve gotten lost somewhere as the wind carried the words away and never reached heavens for that night he came back to an empty apartment. A lonely note on his old piano read ‘Bye love bye.’ His world ended, like that shooting star he started falling into death’s embrace.
Not carrying when and how he would end his existence. He would live from day to day not a care on his mind. He wished for the end to come, inviting every opportunity and yet nothing happened. He was to remain in constant fall until this beautiful stranger simply stormed into his little world. Like a comet he appeared out of nowhere and without any effort he forced his eyes to look, his hands to touch, his lips to taste and by the time Yoochun managed to understand any of this it was too late. With his heart pierced once again, he run to his shelter to heal his wounds.
***
They say ‘time is the best healer’, ‘…it takes time’ so why this all mighty, highly praised ‘time’ didn’t do anything for him?! Why was it so damn hard to get up in the morning to face another day?! How was he supposed to forget when all he did was reminisce that evening, that night.
He buried himself in work deeper and deeper barely having time to eat or think where and with whom he should go for dinner. Even after big raise and a new title Yunho was far from happy or satisfied with the way things turned out. He was managing his feelings most of the time and all he could wish for now was to forget. Forget this ever happened. Forget he ever met him. Forget his ears ever picked up his whispery words, which made him, feel uncomfortable even now.
The frustration made him violent towards girls he slept with and many times, he would just end up alone in bed with a burning cheek after a slap he had received five seconds before doors to his apartment slammed shut. Curling up into a ball, he would hit the sheets with all the strength he had left. And even if he managed to make anything happen between him and some random whore he dragged home the pleasure wasn’t the same. Why wasn’t it the same!! Why was he constantly searching for stronger, rougher, fiercer experience?! What is wrong with me?? Again, he would lay alone in bed sleepless, miserable.
Once or twice his mind played a trick on him making him think he saw his figure strolling along the street gazing up into the night sky, wearing plain shirt and jeans even though it was mid November already. Yet if he would look again there was no one there. I’m cursed… I’m fucking cursed…
And then there was Changmin, his colleague, a friend or so he thought. This little sneaky weasel was promoted the same time he did and now he was in charge of production on one of the projects Yunho supervised. Now this tall skinny guy would constantly bug him about anything that has happened on the day. What was more annoying was the fact he seemed to like to mention one very important and arrogant musician; and whenever Yunho would even hear slightest hint about ‘that annoying, not doing what I tell him to do pianist’ he would simply throw his younger colleague out of his office hissing about how busy he was.
No time definitely didn’t do anything for him!
***
It was not the first time Yoochun acted before he thought in fact, he did that constantly, but it was not until now that he truly regretted his actions. Putting his name down on that sheet of paper brought to him by this angel appeared to be the worst thing he could’ve done. It brought him exactly to the place he run from all this years ago. The place where he was only pushed to the limit of his abilities lied to and betrayed.
‘Why did you do that Micky’ he would whisper in his drunken state to either a glass or a bottle he held at the time. ‘Why?’
At the beginning, all the promises of giving him free hand with his compositions and themes seemed coming true and he was beginning to like the idea of working with many instruments and fancy electronic equipment. He could fall into the vortex of work forgetting about him but then everything changed. After a month, his managers started to put deadlines, restrictions, and requests that soon changed into demands.
Just like then ages ago, his music was no longer his. It was some artificial creation of someone else’s desires simply written by his hand - nothing more. When he wouldn’t show up at the studio the company would either ring till the phone would consider committing suicide by jumping of the table or have someone bang at the door till he answered.
Living like a dog on a leash taught how and when to bark, Yoochun was beyond wretched. His days didn’t have sun, there was only gloomy fog before his eyes. And now, there was one more thing to bear, thing that scared him the most, press conference. He could feel the stage fright gripping his throat even now when it was not until next week.
Yes Yoochun had never regretted his actions more…
( next chapter )