(no subject)
In my experience, in Singapore, the culture of acknowledgement of an individual's presence at a chance encounter is limited to a 5 second conversation: a smile if you really didn't want to talk to him/her, and a decent few sentences if you had something to say. Even in the most awkward of instances - if for example you felt the need to say something at a chance but unavoidable encounter in a lift - a hello would usually suffice.
So it is especially difficult here in Canada, when almost any encounter - at the start of a meeting, at a random hallway run-in or at any other time - that takes up all of 5 seconds generally have people greet each other with a Hey, how's it going? or Hey, how are ya?
I used to think such a question beget an answer more credible than a grunt. But by the time I came up with a meaningful rejoinder along the lines of
Well, I'm great coz' blah blah blah just happened or I'm not too good because yadda yadda yadda, people would have already moved on - both physically and mentally.
It took me a while to realise that no one really wants to know how you actually are. How are you and its myriad variations of considerate queries on your state of wellness merely project an illusionary care-pathway of concern that, when stripped to its element, is nothing more than a empty shell of Hello.
Here too, then, people are proponents of the 5 second conversation.
My detailed answer not only exceeds 5 seconds, but also breaks the rhythmic psychological stride of the greeter who really don't care about my day or my health. With the obligatory greeting conveyed, they just want to move on to the next stage of forced interaction - acceptable silence.
To that end, I made an attempt to shorten my responses. When someone askedHey, how's it going or Hey, how are ya?, I'd say I'm fine, thanks.
Strangely even then, I got the awkward vibe of an unfinished conversation lingering about in that 5 seconds.
And then I realised my second folly: Not only do they want to ask about your health but they wanted to be asked about their wellness in return! Without breaking that ubiquitous rhythmic psychological stride! In 5 seconds or less!
My final solution therefore, after careful eavesdropping on countless pointless greetings and rejoinders, is to follow the herd hereon; To wit, to recite the following script ad verbum:
Hey, how's it going or Hey, how are ya?
Good and you?
Good
I tried it this morning and it played out perfectly.
So there you have it. The 5 second non-enquiry on your health that bookends a random Canadian encounter.
Or - is often - all it is comprised of.
So it is especially difficult here in Canada, when almost any encounter - at the start of a meeting, at a random hallway run-in or at any other time - that takes up all of 5 seconds generally have people greet each other with a Hey, how's it going? or Hey, how are ya?
I used to think such a question beget an answer more credible than a grunt. But by the time I came up with a meaningful rejoinder along the lines of
Well, I'm great coz' blah blah blah just happened or I'm not too good because yadda yadda yadda, people would have already moved on - both physically and mentally.
It took me a while to realise that no one really wants to know how you actually are. How are you and its myriad variations of considerate queries on your state of wellness merely project an illusionary care-pathway of concern that, when stripped to its element, is nothing more than a empty shell of Hello.
Here too, then, people are proponents of the 5 second conversation.
My detailed answer not only exceeds 5 seconds, but also breaks the rhythmic psychological stride of the greeter who really don't care about my day or my health. With the obligatory greeting conveyed, they just want to move on to the next stage of forced interaction - acceptable silence.
To that end, I made an attempt to shorten my responses. When someone askedHey, how's it going or Hey, how are ya?, I'd say I'm fine, thanks.
Strangely even then, I got the awkward vibe of an unfinished conversation lingering about in that 5 seconds.
And then I realised my second folly: Not only do they want to ask about your health but they wanted to be asked about their wellness in return! Without breaking that ubiquitous rhythmic psychological stride! In 5 seconds or less!
My final solution therefore, after careful eavesdropping on countless pointless greetings and rejoinders, is to follow the herd hereon; To wit, to recite the following script ad verbum:
Hey, how's it going or Hey, how are ya?
Good and you?
Good
I tried it this morning and it played out perfectly.
So there you have it. The 5 second non-enquiry on your health that bookends a random Canadian encounter.
Or - is often - all it is comprised of.