FIC: Amaryllis - Chapter 4: Cold beyond the sun
Title: Amaryllis - Chapter 4 - Cold beyond the sun
Author: Anae
Beta: None. But I'd desperately need one. (Needed to do some heavy editing. Blaming nanowrimo for this.)
Fandom: Uragiri wa boku no namae wo shitteiru - Betrayal knows my name
Characters/pairing: Shusei/Hotsuma
Rating: eventual M/NC-17 (because it's gonna take while - boys need to grow up, plus well, manga wasn't too helpful for hot scenes)
Spoilers: overall thorough the manga/anime
Disclaimer: After finishing and re-working with this, I would deserve the boys, but no. Not mine. The song used belongs to Shinedown.
Summary: Both Shusei and Hotsuma struggled with their fates, with themselves ever since they were kids. This is how it happened - how two children grew up to be Zweilts, partners, and eventually, grew to understand and love each other.
A/N: I've been sick, hence the chapter is late. I'm sorry, hope you still enjoy. Also first mention of Yuki (of whom I've never really liked)! *le gasp*
Ps. Anyone happen to know a good place to read/post fics nowadays? Other than ff.net.
Pss. Do you know the symbolic meaning of Amaryllis? "Success won after a struggle."
Chapter 4: Cold beyond the sun
You seem rather fragile
It's been said
It's cold beyond the sun
Have you ever been there?
For couple of weeks, switching schools seemed to help - Hotsuma was able to make new friends in a record time, and even if his power scared him a bit, it seemed to be under his control. After all, Hotsuma worked a lot with it, especially with Shusei - it made a big difference to have a helping hand, even if that was no more than encouraging.
The situation changed after a month or so.
A monster.
That was how the other kids started calling the blond kid - until one of the girls kindly pointed out that if they were mean to Hotsuma, he might burn them as well.
Of course, the teachers told the children to stop believing in such ridiculous rumors, but the damage was already done - the other kids were scared of Hotsuma, starting to distance themselves from him.
It would’ve been hard for any child, for any human being, but Hotsuma took it especially heavily - before all this mess, he had always been popular kid people liked. To make it worse, Hotsuma was a people person - he loved them.
Shusei did his best to be there for Hotsuma, but he was but just one person - no matter how he tried, it was impossible to make up for everyone else.
The situation slowly worsened - to some children, it wasn’t enough to avoid the blond. Instead, they started treating him as he never existed - whether it was due to fear or confusion or just plain cruelty, it hardly mattered. Of course, that was an act they couldn’t put up in class, in front of a teacher - but during breaks and after school it was easy.
It was the cruelest thing.
As the result, the only one who didn’t treat Hotsuma like he was air or worse, was Shusei.
During that time, it was more often than not when Hotsuma came to Shusei’s house. It became more frequent than neither of them would’ve liked - standing outside the Usui household, careful not to bother the parents, Shusei holding Hotsuma and the younger boy was gripping his hoodie, face buried to Shusei’s shoulder, crying.
On one of these late evenings, Hotsuma was in pieces enough to voice the words he hadn’t dared to ask, not even from his best (and only) friend.
“No one… will look at me…” he whispered, warm tears falling down on his cheeks, wetting Shusei’s shoulder. “Am I… really here?”
“Hotsuma…” Shusei started, but his voice died as he tightened his hug. The brunette didn’t know what to do, didn’t know what to say to make it all right. Hotsuma was hurting so bad, the wounds in his heart were raw and open, bleeding - Shusei had no idea how to tend to them, how to close them, how to patch his best friend up.
“Shusei…”
It took years for Shusei to realize that his being there helped Hotsuma a great deal - it might’ve not have made it all right, but it made it a bit easier - possible - for Hotsuma to pull through the difficult times. What mattered was that Shusei was there when Hotsuma needed him.
It was enough.
That was how years passed by - both Hotsuma and Shusei growing up, practicing their powers by themselves and sometimes together, all on their spare time.
Hotsuma depended on Shusei to be there when he needed him, and Shusei was more than happy to be there. At least he could try to ease Hotsuma’s suffering - even it was just for moment and just a little. Shusei was always there when Hotsuma needed him, but it had its price - no one on school understood why he an upperclassman spent his time with Hotsuma - with a monster.
The other kids didn’t treat Shusei like air like they did to Hotsuma - the brunette was fairly popular at school, being a good and modest student, but a certain distance stayed between him and the rest. Besides Hotsuma, there was no one he would’ve called a friend, but it was alright. Hotsuma needed him, and he was there. It was everything he needed.
At some point, Shusei’s classmates became daring enough to voice the question that had been bothering them for a long time now - why did someone as smart as Shusei spend his time with a monster?
Every time, Shusei’s answer was simple and honest; “You don’t know him.”
Most of people let it go after a while, but every now and then, even after years, there was someone who just couldn’t let it slide. Sometimes, it led to verbal arguments.
One of these arguments happened after school when Shusei was waiting for Hotsuma. That was when he passed by some of his classmates - a girl and two boys.
“Shusei!”
The boy turned to see the girl - she was pretty, her long brown hair falling down to her shoulders, blue eyes were filled with concern as she looked Shusei in the eye. “Why are you friends with Hotsuma? One wrong word, and he’ll burn you, too.”
Shusei shook his head, letting out a small sigh. He thought they had been through this, already. “He’s not like that.”
“But…”
“You don’t know him.” Shusei’s voice wasn’t cruel or cold - he was simply stating a fact. These people didn’t know Hotsuma, and they never would.
“It’s you who doesn’t know him!” other one of the boys snapped, angrily glaring at Shusei. He was a little taller than Shusei was. “The kid he burned was my cousin’s classmate!”
Shusei couldn’t make the act undone - if he could’ve, he would’ve done it, no matter the cost. So he just met the accusing eyes of the boy. “He’s my friend.” He paused, letting the words sink in. “I know him.”
Anger flared in the boy’s eyes. He had met the kid Hotsuma burned. Whereas he hadn’t really known the kid, he had still considered the boy as friend. The boy’s hand closed into a tight fist as his anger level rose. “Why, you…” he started, stepping a couple threatening steps forward.
He was heavier than Shusei by build, and it was clear that should there be a fight, Shusei would lose - he didn’t know how to fight after all, hadn’t ever swung a fist at anyone. The brunette wasn’t exactly scared, but he didn’t want to get hit either - as the other boy stepped forward, he took a step backwards. Maybe he could outrun the other one? That didn’t seem likely either, but it was the only option he had.
“Leave him alone.”
Shusei turned upon hearing the familiar voice - Hotsuma stood there, glaring at the boy who was threatening his best friend.
That was all that it needed for the threatener to turn around and run after his friends who were already on their way to safety - he was scared of Hotsuma’s reputation, scared that now he would be burned as well.
“Hotsuma…”
The blonde walked to him, still glaring after the idiot who had threatened his friend. “You okay?”
Shusei nodded as an answer, eyes following Hotsuma’s - until the boy spoke, making Shusei to turn his gaze on him. “Yesterday, I decided.” He paused, turning his eyes to Shusei. “You’re my partner. I don’t need anyone else.”
You do. You need Yuki.
The words just popped into Shusei’s mind without any apparent reason at all - he had absolutely no idea who this Yuki was, or why would Hotsuma need her.
Pushing the thought back to the corner of his mind - it didn’t make any sense, anyway - the brunette’s gaze shifted to his hand. Tomorrow, they would meet Takashiro and exchange rings - to make a vow, a pact to be partners again, to fight alongside each other until the bitter end. The hand closed, decision made, and Shusei lifted his head to meet Hotsuma’s gaze. “Me too.”
For now, it was easy to shut that little voice inside his head whispering unwanted words about Yuki - Hotsuma was his partner, so there was no need to worry.
Shusei had no idea how wrong he was.
Author: Anae
Beta: None. But I'd desperately need one. (Needed to do some heavy editing. Blaming nanowrimo for this.)
Fandom: Uragiri wa boku no namae wo shitteiru - Betrayal knows my name
Characters/pairing: Shusei/Hotsuma
Rating: eventual M/NC-17 (because it's gonna take while - boys need to grow up, plus well, manga wasn't too helpful for hot scenes)
Spoilers: overall thorough the manga/anime
Disclaimer: After finishing and re-working with this, I would deserve the boys, but no. Not mine. The song used belongs to Shinedown.
Summary: Both Shusei and Hotsuma struggled with their fates, with themselves ever since they were kids. This is how it happened - how two children grew up to be Zweilts, partners, and eventually, grew to understand and love each other.
A/N: I've been sick, hence the chapter is late. I'm sorry, hope you still enjoy. Also first mention of Yuki (of whom I've never really liked)! *le gasp*
Ps. Anyone happen to know a good place to read/post fics nowadays? Other than ff.net.
Pss. Do you know the symbolic meaning of Amaryllis? "Success won after a struggle."
Chapter 4: Cold beyond the sun
You seem rather fragile
It's been said
It's cold beyond the sun
Have you ever been there?
For couple of weeks, switching schools seemed to help - Hotsuma was able to make new friends in a record time, and even if his power scared him a bit, it seemed to be under his control. After all, Hotsuma worked a lot with it, especially with Shusei - it made a big difference to have a helping hand, even if that was no more than encouraging.
The situation changed after a month or so.
A monster.
That was how the other kids started calling the blond kid - until one of the girls kindly pointed out that if they were mean to Hotsuma, he might burn them as well.
Of course, the teachers told the children to stop believing in such ridiculous rumors, but the damage was already done - the other kids were scared of Hotsuma, starting to distance themselves from him.
It would’ve been hard for any child, for any human being, but Hotsuma took it especially heavily - before all this mess, he had always been popular kid people liked. To make it worse, Hotsuma was a people person - he loved them.
Shusei did his best to be there for Hotsuma, but he was but just one person - no matter how he tried, it was impossible to make up for everyone else.
The situation slowly worsened - to some children, it wasn’t enough to avoid the blond. Instead, they started treating him as he never existed - whether it was due to fear or confusion or just plain cruelty, it hardly mattered. Of course, that was an act they couldn’t put up in class, in front of a teacher - but during breaks and after school it was easy.
It was the cruelest thing.
As the result, the only one who didn’t treat Hotsuma like he was air or worse, was Shusei.
During that time, it was more often than not when Hotsuma came to Shusei’s house. It became more frequent than neither of them would’ve liked - standing outside the Usui household, careful not to bother the parents, Shusei holding Hotsuma and the younger boy was gripping his hoodie, face buried to Shusei’s shoulder, crying.
On one of these late evenings, Hotsuma was in pieces enough to voice the words he hadn’t dared to ask, not even from his best (and only) friend.
“No one… will look at me…” he whispered, warm tears falling down on his cheeks, wetting Shusei’s shoulder. “Am I… really here?”
“Hotsuma…” Shusei started, but his voice died as he tightened his hug. The brunette didn’t know what to do, didn’t know what to say to make it all right. Hotsuma was hurting so bad, the wounds in his heart were raw and open, bleeding - Shusei had no idea how to tend to them, how to close them, how to patch his best friend up.
“Shusei…”
It took years for Shusei to realize that his being there helped Hotsuma a great deal - it might’ve not have made it all right, but it made it a bit easier - possible - for Hotsuma to pull through the difficult times. What mattered was that Shusei was there when Hotsuma needed him.
It was enough.
That was how years passed by - both Hotsuma and Shusei growing up, practicing their powers by themselves and sometimes together, all on their spare time.
Hotsuma depended on Shusei to be there when he needed him, and Shusei was more than happy to be there. At least he could try to ease Hotsuma’s suffering - even it was just for moment and just a little. Shusei was always there when Hotsuma needed him, but it had its price - no one on school understood why he an upperclassman spent his time with Hotsuma - with a monster.
The other kids didn’t treat Shusei like air like they did to Hotsuma - the brunette was fairly popular at school, being a good and modest student, but a certain distance stayed between him and the rest. Besides Hotsuma, there was no one he would’ve called a friend, but it was alright. Hotsuma needed him, and he was there. It was everything he needed.
At some point, Shusei’s classmates became daring enough to voice the question that had been bothering them for a long time now - why did someone as smart as Shusei spend his time with a monster?
Every time, Shusei’s answer was simple and honest; “You don’t know him.”
Most of people let it go after a while, but every now and then, even after years, there was someone who just couldn’t let it slide. Sometimes, it led to verbal arguments.
One of these arguments happened after school when Shusei was waiting for Hotsuma. That was when he passed by some of his classmates - a girl and two boys.
“Shusei!”
The boy turned to see the girl - she was pretty, her long brown hair falling down to her shoulders, blue eyes were filled with concern as she looked Shusei in the eye. “Why are you friends with Hotsuma? One wrong word, and he’ll burn you, too.”
Shusei shook his head, letting out a small sigh. He thought they had been through this, already. “He’s not like that.”
“But…”
“You don’t know him.” Shusei’s voice wasn’t cruel or cold - he was simply stating a fact. These people didn’t know Hotsuma, and they never would.
“It’s you who doesn’t know him!” other one of the boys snapped, angrily glaring at Shusei. He was a little taller than Shusei was. “The kid he burned was my cousin’s classmate!”
Shusei couldn’t make the act undone - if he could’ve, he would’ve done it, no matter the cost. So he just met the accusing eyes of the boy. “He’s my friend.” He paused, letting the words sink in. “I know him.”
Anger flared in the boy’s eyes. He had met the kid Hotsuma burned. Whereas he hadn’t really known the kid, he had still considered the boy as friend. The boy’s hand closed into a tight fist as his anger level rose. “Why, you…” he started, stepping a couple threatening steps forward.
He was heavier than Shusei by build, and it was clear that should there be a fight, Shusei would lose - he didn’t know how to fight after all, hadn’t ever swung a fist at anyone. The brunette wasn’t exactly scared, but he didn’t want to get hit either - as the other boy stepped forward, he took a step backwards. Maybe he could outrun the other one? That didn’t seem likely either, but it was the only option he had.
“Leave him alone.”
Shusei turned upon hearing the familiar voice - Hotsuma stood there, glaring at the boy who was threatening his best friend.
That was all that it needed for the threatener to turn around and run after his friends who were already on their way to safety - he was scared of Hotsuma’s reputation, scared that now he would be burned as well.
“Hotsuma…”
The blonde walked to him, still glaring after the idiot who had threatened his friend. “You okay?”
Shusei nodded as an answer, eyes following Hotsuma’s - until the boy spoke, making Shusei to turn his gaze on him. “Yesterday, I decided.” He paused, turning his eyes to Shusei. “You’re my partner. I don’t need anyone else.”
You do. You need Yuki.
The words just popped into Shusei’s mind without any apparent reason at all - he had absolutely no idea who this Yuki was, or why would Hotsuma need her.
Pushing the thought back to the corner of his mind - it didn’t make any sense, anyway - the brunette’s gaze shifted to his hand. Tomorrow, they would meet Takashiro and exchange rings - to make a vow, a pact to be partners again, to fight alongside each other until the bitter end. The hand closed, decision made, and Shusei lifted his head to meet Hotsuma’s gaze. “Me too.”
For now, it was easy to shut that little voice inside his head whispering unwanted words about Yuki - Hotsuma was his partner, so there was no need to worry.
Shusei had no idea how wrong he was.