I read your note.
I don't think you are weak. I am not unwilling to listen. If you were to tell me your life story, as you say you want to, go ahead. I would love to hear if that is what you want. You are assuming that I base the past as irrelevant, and that is untrue. I hate MY past, and refuse to judged upon it, so yes, I do view people as they are, because that is how I want to be seen. I will say, that I hated my early life, my family was very poor, school was hell, and my father is abusive. Knowing these things will not help you know me, I am the way I am, based on what I see as wrong and what I see as right. The reason I can even function in a relationship is because I promised never t conduct myself like my parents did. At the same time, though, I don't see people who talk about their pasts as weak. That, in most cases is something I know people do because they have no closure. I am on terms with my life. I understand why things happened the way they did. So when I don't talk, it is because it won't do anybody any good. I am assured of myself, and as that is what is important, I don't see the point. I love myself, I accept myself. If I am cold, it is because I feel like I will be hurt. I give myself completely in anything that I pursue, and as being in love with you is one of those that I truly value, I don't want you to feel like you can't talk to me.
Hurtful? You believe I would look down on you and that I would lose respect for you? No. The only hurtful thing, I see, is that you think I don't care. I understand that you want to share yourself with me, and want me to know you more fully, I suppose. If you feel I that I was brusque and distant last night, I cannot fault you. I was. I was in a bad mood, and I took it out on you. I am sorry. I should have handled myself better, and I am sorry again tat things are turning out this way. I refuse to have this be a defining line about the openness between us. I understand if you feel like now you will be unable to share with me, that makes me sad. I would love to let you tell me your story. I have no secrets from you as I hope you have none from me.
Do you feel like I am not opening up to you, or not letting you know me? I am in love with you. You know me as well as anybody can, and better than most do. When I say something, I mean it. When I do something, it is for real. When I say, that I would never ask you to tell me, or say that I will not share mine with you, it is not because I don't care. I know you as you are. I love you, Claire. I assume you will read this and we will discuss this later.
Hurtful? You believe I would look down on you and that I would lose respect for you? No. The only hurtful thing, I see, is that you think I don't care. I understand that you want to share yourself with me, and want me to know you more fully, I suppose. If you feel I that I was brusque and distant last night, I cannot fault you. I was. I was in a bad mood, and I took it out on you. I am sorry. I should have handled myself better, and I am sorry again tat things are turning out this way. I refuse to have this be a defining line about the openness between us. I understand if you feel like now you will be unable to share with me, that makes me sad. I would love to let you tell me your story. I have no secrets from you as I hope you have none from me.
Do you feel like I am not opening up to you, or not letting you know me? I am in love with you. You know me as well as anybody can, and better than most do. When I say something, I mean it. When I do something, it is for real. When I say, that I would never ask you to tell me, or say that I will not share mine with you, it is not because I don't care. I know you as you are. I love you, Claire. I assume you will read this and we will discuss this later.