scary triples
A funny thing happened, a triple digit is scary as hell again. I'm not too far from it either, I went to 96, was 95.5 (on my scale) one morning. Then in my stupidity I ate my "meal plan" yeah my goddamnfatfuckwimpweakass meal plan and went to 100 in the afternoon! Oh my god, it was 101 at one point, how disgusting. I want to cry and cry and sleep, I want to hide from everyone because I hurt. Everything hurts, it hurts to wake up in the morning, hurts even more to go through the long tortuous hours that makes up the torturous days. Then at night for some reason it's difficult to go to bed when bed is really the only solace I have. I want to just restrict, but I so god damn used to purging I can't be anorexic just restrictive. Almost all anorexics purge, at least I'm really good at it. I have a lot to show for my life don't I?
Fuck it I'm so fucking tired of trying I'm just done I give up it's easier to just surrender to it. So be it.
I read Mary Kate is doing well, weighs 100 to 102 and is 5'2, that would be like me weighing 110 to 112, and she is gaining more I guess, she won't though at least I doubt she will. She was 82 going into the hospital, that's like me weighing 92, and it was labeled "scary skinny?" I don't think so.
if she can be this skinny and get away with it, without being locked up... then god damn it, I can too. Fuck everyone else.
Fuck it I'm so fucking tired of trying I'm just done I give up it's easier to just surrender to it. So be it.
I read Mary Kate is doing well, weighs 100 to 102 and is 5'2, that would be like me weighing 110 to 112, and she is gaining more I guess, she won't though at least I doubt she will. She was 82 going into the hospital, that's like me weighing 92, and it was labeled "scary skinny?" I don't think so.
if she can be this skinny and get away with it, without being locked up... then god damn it, I can too. Fuck everyone else.