(no subject)
so we had this drug awareness thing at my school few wks ago, some kids spoke n told us their stories, I related to almost every one of them and I agree, sober life is the way to live. However they made a huge connection that I always seemed to miss, which prolly has affected me more than just my past drug abuse.. I dont remember ever really feeling comfortable with myself. I mean now I feel "okay" with myself. But I still can't go a day without feeling uncomfortable. And I feel that as I got older I only got worse given my situations. Its a constant battle with me. I'm unhappy with much of myself and I view it that everyone else is better than me, everyone has it easier than me. My life there is alwaysss something! I hate it.. And when there isnt really, of course there is cause I gotta make one cause I'm not used to it. I hatehatehate it. I just wanna be able to be comfortable with myself but I dont have the money to fix those things.. my face, my teeth, my hair, then I wouldnt even feel as bad about my clothes.. I would also go to a diff college or another one if i had the money but HA , fidm was kinda a huge mistake/regret.. I'm starting to see a huge pattern that everything I do is a mistake. I wonder if I was a mistake.