Title: Defining Gravity
Fandom: The 100
Pairing: Abby/Raven
Spoilers: Up until the end of Season 2
Rating: M
Disclaimer: The bits from the show are not mine. The *feelings* and extra bits are...
Chapters
1 ,
2 &
3 PART TWO: Perigee
Chapter Four: Momentum
Raven woke up to Abby calling out in her sleep, flinching at the desperation in those cries. She slid herself off the bed carefully, wincing as pain shot through her many wounds, and leaned over to the older woman's bed, using her arms to stabilise her. She balanced herself on one arm and the least painful leg (the one she never again thought she would call her 'good' leg) and took Abby's hand with her free hand.
"Abby. It's okay, wake up," she whispered, trying not to wake the others in the larger med bay.
Abby twitched in her sleep before her eyes opened, "Raven," she whispered before realising Raven should not be able to stand.
"What are you doing out of bed?" she chastised sleepily, propping herself up.
"You were calling out in your sleep," she replied, unable to keep the defensiveness from her voice.
Abby looked down, her lips pressed together before she was able to return Raven's worried gaze.
"What was I saying?" Abby asked.
"You were just muttering but you sounded like you were in pain," Raven replied.
"Thank you for waking me," came the empty-sounding reply, "but you should get back to bed before you fall."
Raven looked at Abby incomprehensibly but Abby just lay back and closed her eyes.
Raven fought her way back to her bed, finding it harder than she had the first time since holding herself at the edge of Abby's bed had exhausted her arm. When she returned to her supine position she stared at the ceiling and tried to make sense of Abby's brush off. She did not need to be Chancellor or Doctor in here so why push her away? The hurt left an emptiness she was trying not to get used to.
* * *
Abby listened for Raven's even breaths before venturing to open her eyes. She peeked Raven's way, letting the dim light trace her features, before confirming she was asleep. Abby exhaled.
It had been two days since they returned from Mount Weather and one day since they retrofitted a storage area into a larger medical bay for the injured. Abby had been sleeping a lot but she had seen Raven brought in and put next to her, she was just not sure what to do about it yet. It was unfair to Raven no matter what she did, for all she knew Abby was her friend, if a completely erratic one. Abby did consider them friends and hated to distance herself from the young mechanic, but she could not stop the way her heart sped up when they touched or the way Raven's smile warmed her. She wanted to hold her but she could not control the parts of her that stirred at the thought of Raven's body pressed against hers. She had tried to reason her way out of it, Raven was, after all, barely older than her daughter, but Abby saw a maturity of spirit in Raven, one she could not help but be drawn to.
She hated the fact she could not move, could not pace, or fume. Here she could only exist within herself. It was always said that doctors made the worst patients. She chuckled to herself ruefully at the truth of that statement before looking back at Raven and wondering what she thought of her.
* * *
"I spy," Raven prompted, still lying in her bed.
Abby groaned. Raven had been trying to get her to play some game to pass the time all morning.
"Come on," she encouraged and Abby could feel herself smiling in spite of herself. It was too easy, being together like this.
"Fine," Abby relented.
"I spy with my little eye something that starts with C," Raven announced a bit too happily.
"Ceiling," Abby stated deadpan.
She heard Raven sit up in bed, "Hey!" she exclaimed, "you're no fun!" she accused playfully.
"What else could you be looking at that starts with C?" Abby pointed out, turning to look at Raven, eyebrow raised.
"ummm... 'cannula, cover, coveralls...." Raven started naming as Kane walked in.
"..Kane," she added giggling.
"That's a K Raven," she pointed out, mock rolling her eyes as Kane approached.
"I was coming to see how you were but it seems like you are already being entertained," Kane noted evenly with the hint of a smile.
"Stir-crazy, we're going stir-crazy," Abby explained, glancing briefly at Raven who nodded vigorously.
Abby dropped her voice as Kane came closer, "Although I think it might be the herbs they put her on for the pain," she added conspiratorially.
"I heard that and we're on the same stuff!" Raven defended loudly.
Abby smiled before turning back to Kane and composing herself.
"How is it out there? Any word from Clarke?" she asked.
Kane shook his head, "Not yet. But she's a tough kid she'll be fine."
"She's not a kid, not anymore," Abby admitted, staring off into the distance before snapping herself out of it and focusing on Kane.
"How are the fortifications doing? How is everyone?" she prompted.
Kane shook his head again, his lips pressed together in the trace of a smile, "No work talk," he admonished.
"I'm still Chancellor," Abby pointed out.
Kane raised his arms in mock surrender, "I'm not trying to take your position from you, I'm doing it for your health. Doctor's orders."
"Humm," Abby murmured, narrowing her eyes, "I'll have to talk to Jackson when I see him next. So what can we talk about?" she asked.
Kane started talking about the weather, about their plans for planting in the future, about pregnant citizens, birthdays, and life getting back to as normal as it could on the ground. And it seemed possible for a moment, that this could be there future, that they could all have a life here. If only it were that easy.
* * *
Raven pushed herself to get back to work as early as possible. Even though Abby's presence made the med bay bearable she had still been climbing the walls for some form of diversion.
She was back using the crutches, her new 'good' leg taking the brunt of the weight with the help of her arms. She still could not stand for long periods of time but she could work on anything that allowed her to sit.
On one of her first days back she was looking into the repeated brown-outs in the camp and realised that the solar panel delivery system had been partially fried on re-entry. While most of the panels themselves were functional some of the wiring to the batteries had shorted. The system had compensated by rerouting to the remaining wires but the failsafe that measured electrical capacity had been broken long before they came to the ground, which meant the shorts were continually increasing and putting even more of a load on the remaining wires in a slow cascade. So while others reviewed and repaired the wiring as best they could, Raven started working on a prototype for a new capacity measurement system. It was the kind of thing she loved doing, piecing together a puzzle of things not intended to function together to make something work again, and it was not until the smoke had filled the room that she noticed the sound of fire from the hallway.
She grabbed her crutches and ran out of the room as quickly as her legs would allow her, the fire forcing her right. As she hobbled down the corridor in front of it she realised from the size and position of it that it must have started near one of the battery rooms adjoining her work area. She tried to remember what the fireproofing looked liked but none of her memories of the worn and cracked battery cladding did anything to alleviate the significant concern that if the fire made it to the batteries themselves the Ark could explode.
She started knocking on all doors, ensuring everyone was out. She tripped the first fire alarm she came across and the sirens blared above her. She came to an outside door and as it opened she realised how hot the corridor had been.
She called to those around and the others exiting the Ark who were turning to watch the fire raging within.
"BACK UP," she yelled, "Get everyone beyond the fence," she commanded, with perhaps a bit more panic in her voice than she had intended. She saw Sinclair and hobbled towards him as he approached.
"It's by the batteries sir," she explained.
Sinclair nodded and organised for everyone to get beyond the fence before turning back to Raven.
"The fire dampers?" he asked before answering his own question in time with Raven, "rely on decompression."
"Dammit," he added.
"I could make an airlock but I'm not sure if it would work on this scale," Raven replied.
Sinclair looked back at the inferno. "I can't ask you to do that Reyes."
"You're not," she confirmed, swallowing her fear as she stepped back toward the Ark. She could do this.
She selected a door to a section she knew had the proper wiring but was also far enough from centre of the fire to not be immediately dangerous.
'Unless it explodes,' she reminded herself in sarcastic darkness as she entered the Ark.
It was hotter in here than it had been been before, which was not a good sign. She tried to calm herself with the knowledge that, although worn, the batteries should have been insulated with a very thick fire-resistant alloy but she knew the insulation had not been maintained properly in the last century due to lack of materials and that one deep crack would give the fire a way in.
She sat herself on the floor by a display panel and hacked into the thermal imaging to track the progress of the fire. The image was grainy but she had an idea where the fire finished, realising that one of the doors she would have to use as an 'airlock' was not too far from her current position. She locked the doors and cut electricity, severing the wires to ensure the fire could not short circuit the command. She looked at the image again and saw the two bodies she had missed within the heat of the flames. They were moving slowly across the floor, one dragging the other.
"Shit," she cursed, grabbing the wires for the pressurisation system. If she could get this fire out she could still save them.
The vents were proving themselves resistant to her prodding and the sweat was impacting both her vision and her ability to manipulate the wires in front of her. She tried the scrubbers and while she could access them they seemed to have no impact on the vents themselves or the pressure valves. She started getting lightheaded but she pushed it away and focused her thoughts.
It was then that she heard the banging in the door to her left. She turned and saw Abby lying on her back, sweat drenched and covered in soot, Jackson's prone form beside her.
Her body went ice cold.
Abby's face lit up when Raven turned toward her, only to fall as she read the helplessness on Raven's face.
"I can't open the doors," Raven yelled, trying to get her voice to the chamber beyond, "I need to vent the chamber," she explained, hoping Abby could not tell the tears from the sweat.
Abby visibly swallowed, "What can I do?" she asked in between panting breaths, Raven lip-reading more than hearing her.
Raven shook her head helplessly before returning to the wirings and going back over everything bit by bit. The doors were sealed so the fire was not going to get any more oxygen unless it burned through the hull which was unlikely, but that also meant that Abby and Jackson would be out of oxygen long before the fire was safe. She crawled back to the door.
"Get oxygen," she instructed loudly, miming an oxygen mask, and Abby nodded before turning on her stomach and using her arms to pull her back toward the fire.
Raven returned to the wires again, trying to find the flaw in the system that would allow her to access the vents but try as she might she could not find anything. She knew that the lack of oxygen would kill it but it would kill Abby and Jackson first unless Abby was able to get o2. She needed to find some way of dampening it. She tapped into the engine coolant system and had a moment of jubilation when it responded to her controls. She knew most of it had been recycled in one form or another but there was a small amount left. She opened the refill valves, knowing they were not located too far from the origin of the fire, and initiated a cleaning, pushing the old coolant backwards into the refill pipes, and out into the hall, hoping it would make contact with the fire and have some affect. Alarms blared at her but she overrode them successfully, hoping against hope it would help.
She heard a noise beside her and saw Abby reappear, shaking her head when she saw she had Raven's attention. Raven's face fell as she turned back to the panel, her brain fighting to find some other solution, but there was nothing else she could do.
She moved to the door and sat herself on the other side of the glass, no longer caring that an explosion was most likely imminent.
"Get out of here," Abby mouthed, pointing to the door.
Raven shook her head as her eyes welled up.
Abby shook her head and tried to smile, but Raven could see the redness in her eyes as well.
"You need to live," Abby argued, gesturing as best she could in time to her words.
Raven shook her head stubbornly, "I'm really not going without you. No matter what you say.”
Abby's eyelids fell and she could see that the smoke was affecting her.
"Get lower down," Raven indicated, "You'll pass out but I will get you out," she mouthed slowly, hoping it was true.
Abby complied, lying down on the floor, facing the door. "Thank you," Abby mouthed, her eyes fluttering open.
"For what?" Raven asked, tears mingling with sweat and freely falling down her face.
"For being you," Abby replied slowly before half-heartedly smiling as her eyes fell shut again.
Raven bit her lip at the acknowledgement, the aching in her heart threatening to consume her. She took a deep breath and pushed it away. Abby was counting on her and she was not going to let her die. She needed something to open the door with when the fire went out. With a brief look at Abby's still form, she left the ship. Sinclair was still organising evacuation but paused when he saw her.
"Abby's in there. I need some volunteers to help me open the door manually when the fire is out," Sinclair looked at her for a moment, "I don't want them nearby, just ready when I give the signal."
"You're going back in," he replied but it was a statement, he could read the truth on her face.
She nodded.
"Just let us know when," he confirmed solemnly, holding her shoulder for a moment before moving on.
Raven nodded and limped her way back to the ship. She pulled up the heat display. The fire had definitely diminished around Abby but there was still a significant section of it burning by the battery and down the other end.
"Come on!" she muttered to herself in impatience.
The moments stretched before her as she alternately watched the screen and Abby's prostrate form, begging the fire to go out.
When the fire went out around the battery and had diminished where it still burned she signalled Sinclair and sure enough he and five others came with crowbars and pieces of metal.
It took the strength of all of them on three separate levers to pry the doors open but as soon as they had Raven made her way towards Abby. She was breathing but non-responsive and Raven watched
helplessly as the others pulled her and Jackson outside the doors. She dropped to her side as the others went to get medical aid. They returned with stretchers and Raven followed Abby's unconscious form to the med bay, sitting beside her and hoping against hope that it had not been too late.
* * *
Abby's eyes fluttered open to find Raven asleep in the chair beside her. She smiled in spite of herself before starting to cough uncontrollably.
Raven's form jumped at the sound, rubbing her eyes before realising that Abby was awake and coughing. She ran to get some water, handing it to Abby who took it gratefully. The water burned even as it cooled her throat and she started assessing herself before realising she had not been alone.
"Jackson," she uttered without preamble, her voice coming out as a scratchy half whisper.
"He's unconscious but alive," Raven told her, "now lie back down," she prompted, a sly smile on her face.
"Who died and made you Doctor?" she quipped, her voice aching with the attempt as she lie back down and allowed her eyes to fall closed.
"She didn't die," came Raven's soft response before sleep claimed her again.
* * *
Abby had been in bed for a week when Raven entered with two crutches under each arm.
"I thought you might be well enough for a walk," she suggested as she came up to Abby's bedside and divested herself of a set.
"That sounds amazing" Abby replied a bit too enthusiastically, anxious for anything that did not involve lying in this bed. She pulled off her covers and pushed herself to sitting, "Can you hand me my pants?" she asked pointing to the sweatpants beside her bed, feeling suddenly very self-conscious of Raven's eyes on her shorts.
Raven grabbed them for her and helped her put them on over her shorts, her eyes seeming to shift from the project at hand awkwardly.
"You've clearly never helped anyone get dressed," Abby pointed out laughing.
Raven blushed, "It's usually the undressing I'm a part of," she joked, turning an even darker colour.
Abby could feel her own skin colour at the thought of Raven removing her clothes but she pushed the thought away and pulled the long sleeve shirt by her pillow over her head to try to hide her discomfort.
"Shall we?" she asked when she was dressed.
Raven nodded, helping her get the crutches under her arms as she pushed herself off her bed.
* * *
It was slow going but she was starting to get the hang of it again, her stamina being more of a problem than her legs.
She followed Raven outside the camp as Raven explained the work being done to repair the damage done by the fire.
"...thankfully the batteries are okay but we've had to turn the electricity off the fence during the day to reduce the load until we can insulate and re-wire. I've already scavenged some shielding from the crashed exodus ship. At night we've set it to pulse around the camp instead of steady on. It's a risk but its oscillating fast enough that it should still fry anything attempting to get in..." She continued as Abby listened silently.
"Where are you taking us?" Abby asked after starting a rather significant incline for two women with crutches, her breath markedly laboured.
"You'll see," Raven replied, throwing a look over her shoulder at Abby.
It probably was not a long climb by normal standards but by the time Abby saw Raven pause ahead of her she was sweating.
She climbed up the last bit, fully intending on updating Raven on the proper idea of a leisurely stroll for those recovering from smoke inhalation, but her attention was absorbed by the spectacular view before her. Below them was a significant drop to a river which meandered into a mountain range and the most beautiful sunset Abby had ever seen. The deep red turned to burnished orange and spread along the horizon in yellows and pinks as far as the eye could see.
"You're drooling," Raven joked nudging her gently with her shoulder.
"It's sweat," Abby deadpanned, glaring at Raven before looking back at the sight before her, "This is beautiful.”
Raven, on the edge of her periphery, nodded.
"After I realised Finn wanted to be with Clarke I would wander the woods. I think part of me wanted to get caught by Grounders," Raven began and the wistful tone to her statements made Abby turn and face the woman beside her, but Raven did not move her eyes from the horizon. "As soon as I found this place I would come here often to just to think, to escape."
She shook her head as if clearing the vision away before turning to Abby with a smile, "It was worth a bit of sweat, right?"
Abby nodded, turning back to the view. The reds and orange had begun to absorb their lighter compatriots, leaving wedges of light sky buffered by deep colour, an ever changing canvas. Abby would never get over the beauty on the Earth.
"We should be getting back before it's dark," Abby said sombrely, expecting Raven to oppose her in some way.
"Okay," came the unexpected reply, "It's easier to get down this way," she added, leading Abby to the right of the trail they had just come up.
She followed carefully, a few steps behind Raven, the air suddenly feeling pregnant with loss.
"So," Abby began, searching for a topic to try and break this awkwardly comfortable silence, "How is Wick?" she asked. She had heard he and Raven were together and hoped that hearing more would help quash the feelings that still percolated within.
The look Raven shot back at her had a bitterness she had not expected, "What do you mean?"
"Oh, sorry... I heard you were together," Abby floundered in the wake of Raven's harsh rebuttal.
"We're not," she bit back succinctly, turning away and trudging through the woods a bit further ahead of Abby.
"Hey wait up," Abby called, trying to hurry her gait as Raven paused and turned to her.
"I didn't mean anything by it, I was just..."
"Just what Abby?" Raven asked pointedly and Abby swallowed under the intensity of Raven's gaze.
"Trying to be better... at being a friend," she hesitantly replied.
"You're not my mom," Raven replied and the anger was clear in her voice, "I know you miss her but I'm not Clarke and I'm not some charity case you have to look out for."
Abby stared, mouth agape, "That isn't.." she started to explain.
"Really?" Raven cut her off, anger flaming, "Because you seem to constantly distance yourself from me when it suits you and now, now that Clarke is gone and I save your life.. NOW you want to be 'friends'?" she finished, releasing her crutches for a moment to air-quote friends.
Abby could not meet Raven's eyes, how could she explain without admitting the truth? Her heart ached with the hurt she had caused, knowing the facts were true, just not the reasons.
The silence extended around them and Abby could feel Raven's anger dissipating to curiosity.
Abby bit her lower lip, desperately trying to find something to say that would be near the truth. She carefully raised her eyes. Raven's face was no longer clouded in anger but crinkled in confusion, her eyes narrowed.
"I do care about you...," she began and the admission felt like too much. Her heart sped up, and it was so loud in her ears she imagined Raven could hear it.
"You have a funny way of showing it," came Raven's immediate reply, void of all previous bitterness, as she turned from Abby and started back for the camp.
Abby exhaled, her eyes closing in relief as she followed her into the darkening shadows.
* * *
Chapter Five: Distance