Expanding Radius - The Good Wife (Mattie/Alicia) Part 6 of 8
Title: Expanding Radius Part 6 (of 8 or so)
Author: Ana_khouri
Fandom: The Good Wife
Pairing: Alicia/Mattie (with unrequited Kalinda/Alicia and cannon Alicia/Peter)
Rating: M
Word Count: over 27,000 total
Disclaimer: I don't own this show... (and am not getting any profit from this etc etc)
Spoilers: Written after Season 4 Ep15 (with bit of eps embedded) but it goes a bit AU from there...
Synopsis:
[Spoilers for Season 4]Mattie befriended Alicia and then declared her intentions to run against her husband. Bad timing or betrayal? And why can’t either of them just accept that they really shouldn’t have anything to do with each other anymore?
Author Note: The very fact that nothing seems to exist for these two, especially after the eye!sex in Season 4 Ep 6 boggles the mind. So I had to fix that. I hope you enjoy reading as much as I enjoyed excuses to rewatch specific Good Wife scenes... ;-D
Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4 / Part 5
***
Mattie was in her home office, trying to piece together an ad campaign, when her phone rang. She saw Alicia's name appear and froze, almost not believing the truth of it.
"Mattie Hayward," she answered, wincing at how formal she sounded.
"Hi Mattie, it's Alicia, we need to talk," she sounded worried and breathless.
"Are you okay?" Mattie asked, Alicia's tone making her instinctively concerned.
"I'm fine. Do you know of a place we won't be recognised?"
"What is wrong with the office?" Mattie asked, brows furrowed.
"I'll tell you later," Alicia offered, her breath still coming in gasps.
"There is a western bar on 4th and Madison that is pretty low class," Mattie suggested, "I can be there in fifteen minutes.
"Ok, I'll meet you there," Alicia acknowledged before hanging up.
Mattie heard the click and pulled her phone from her ear, wondering what it was that had Alicia so riled.
***
Alicia was nursing a frilly drink with an umbrella in a U-shaped end booth when Mattie slid in next to her, signaling for another of whatever Alicia was having.
Now that Mattie was here Alicia's mouth dried, she took another sip, trying to ignore how she had left things the last time they had met and how her body reacted to Mattie’s proximity.
"I'm sorry for running off yesterday," she said without preamble.
Mattie took her drink from the waitress before turning back to Alicia and nodding.
"It was okay, I was out of bounds and I know that," Mattie acknowledged, "We can discuss that later - firstly what is it that was so important?" she asked.
"Peter is having you watched, or Eli is more accurately. He had a picture of us from last night," Alicia spat out.
Mattie took a long sip of what ended up being a half decent martini.
"I suppose I should've considered it," she responded, not nearly as shocked as Alicia had expected her to be.
Alicia looked at her wordlessly for a moment before responding, "How can you be so casual about it? How are you not enraged at the breach of privacy?"
"Even before I was running for public office I was somewhat of a public figure, loosing bits of your privacy is something I've grown used to," she replied frankly, putting her drink down and leaning forward, "I am more concerned that you were caught up in this," she added, looking at Alicia intently.
Alicia met her gaze, feeling the warmth residing there as she fell into it briefly before pulling her gaze away. She shifted the cup in her hand.
"What did Peter say?" Mattie asked, still watching Alicia intently.
"He was grateful it was his side and not yours," she replied ruefully, "I made him get out of the car," she added, a smile crossing her lips at the thought. She sipped at her straw.
Mattie smiled at the thought, "did he?"
Alicia swallowed, "Of course he did," she pronounced with some pride, looking up again.
"Peter Florrick - fighting for Illinois - unless his wife says otherwise," Mattie intoned, before joining Alicia in laughter.
"You should use that in your ad campaign," Alicia joked.
"I think that might raise more questions than it's worth really," Mattie replied jovially before she realised the seriousness of the statement. Despite all justification they both knew they were treading a very fine line.
Silence descended for a moment and Mattie shifted in her seat.
"Alicia," she began, her eyebrows furrowed as she fiddled with her straw in her hand, unable to meet Alicia's eyes, "I wanted to apologise," she continued, forcing herself to meet Alicia's gaze, "I... overstepped my bounds last night and made you feel uncomfortable. I don't want you to be uncomfortable," she rushed out, averting her eyes again, picking up her drink and hurriedly taking a sip.
"Mattie," Alicia started, reaching out for her hand. She brushed her fingers against Mattie's, left them there as if it had been a casual gesture and waited for Mattie to look at her again, "You don't need to apologise," Alicia confirmed, her fingers itching at the contact with Mattie's, she slid them up, covering Mattie's hand and squeezing before withdrawing.
As soon as Alicia's hand had withdrawn Mattie pulled hers off the table and held them in her lap, watching them as she cleared her throat.
"I do... need to apologise," she began, the agitation clear in her voice, "I can't do this with you," she explained, looking up momentarily before averting her gaze again, "I...I want something more than I can ask of you," Mattie explained, pausing briefly before taking money out of her purse and putting it on the table. She stood, slinging her pocketbook over her shoulder. "I'm very sorry Alicia," she finished, connecting with Alicia's shocked gaze before turning from the table and heading for the door.
Alicia watched her, feeling the ripples of her admission radiate through her as she stared on uselessly. She snapped back into action with a start, grabbing her purse and following her out the door, not sure of anything other than the fact she didn't want Mattie to be out of her life.
"Mattie," she yelled when she got on the street, jogging to meet her as quickly as she could on heels as her stomach knotted, unsure what she was going to say when she caught up with her.
Mattie had opened the door to her car but looked up when Alicia called and allowed the other woman to catch up.
"Don't make me say it again Alicia, I'm not sure I can," Mattie preempted before Alicia could speak, her voice catching in her throat.
"Do you trust your driver?" was Alicia's response.
Mattie looked through the car to where her driver was sitting and then back to Alicia, "Yes."
"Then get in," Alicia instructed, her voice still shaky despite the fact her breathing had regulated.
Mattie did as requested and slid into the car, watching as Alicia looked around and then slid in beside her. She told the driver to head to Alicia's house but Alicia corrected her and asked to bring them back to Mattie's. "He can bring me home after," Alicia pointed out, her eyes never leaving Mattie's.
Mattie pulled her eyes away to nod to the driver, the car pulling out of traffic and the privacy glass sliding back in place as she returned her attention to Alicia.
"I know I shouldn't have run off last night," Alicia began, forcing herself to maintain eye contact, "But I was scared. Not of you but of me...," she took a breath, trying to gather her thoughts.
"Alicia, please don't," Mattie unintentionally interrupted, moving to the opposite seat to distance herself, "I have come to terms with not seeing you again, but I can't bear you trying to make me feel better..."
Alicia watched Mattie, overly aware of the woman's venerability. Her heart ached at the sight of it and she grasped for something, anything she could say to relieve the pain Mattie was feeling, but nothing she could think of relayed what she needed to convey. Her eyes fell to Mattie's lips, the memory of her dream making her own tingle at the thought.
Mattie felt Alicia's lips like a blinding light that shorted out all thought. They were gone in a moment and Mattie was staring into Alicia's hesitant eyes, feeling the touch of her hand on her cheek.
They stayed like that for a moment, Alicia perched awkwardly, balancing in the moving vehicle.
"Oh," Mattie finally uttered.
Alicia bit her bottom lip, "Yea," she responded, electricity shooting through her body as their contact nearly made her forget herself entirely, desperate to let herself feel.
The car jolted and Alicia nearly fell but instead made her way with reasonable grace to be seated next to Mattie. Mattie had caught Alicia’s upper arm impulsively in an effort to steady her and now trailed her fingers past the elbow, resting them just above Alicia's wrist, anxious to maintain contact.
Alicia took Mattie's other hand in her own, holding it before letting her fingers trail aimlessly back and forth over Mattie's wrist as the two women stared at each other hesitantly.
Mattie's eyes fell to Alicia's lips, feeling the pull of her own desire.
"Can we do that again?" she whispered, not aware she had said what she was thinking until Alicia responded with a breathy 'Yes.'
Alicia's eyes fell closed as Mattie leaned over and kissed her, softly at first, as if she would disappear at any moment, but then harder, Mattie manoeuvring on the seat and kneeling next to Alicia. Alicia turned in the seat, pulling Mattie closer as she leaned back, Mattie's body pressing against her and creating warm sparks at every point of contact. She opened her mouth to Mattie's tongue; her body flooding with warmth as it slowly explored the inside of her mouth. She felt Mattie's hands on her through the fabric, wishing that she had worn something that more easily exposed her skin as it burned to be touched.
The car slowed and the women froze. Mattie looked out the window to find the gate and the trailing drive before her house.
"Shit," she swore under her breath, extricating herself from Alicia before meeting her eyes again. The wanton gaze cast in her direction made Mattie’s breath hitch, her insides twisting with want.
"Come inside," Mattie begged as the car came to a stop outside the front door.
Alicia could only nod, her head swimming in its own intoxication. She flattened her dress and ran her fingers through her hair before Mattie opened the door and explained to the driver that she was going to stay a while. She followed Mattie to the door and after what seemed like ages of Mattie fiddling with the door keys she ushered Alicia into her house, assuring her that no one else was home.
They stared at each other for a moment, standing so close they could hear the other's breath.
"For the record," Alicia said breathily, her whole body vibrating with Mattie's proximity, "this is a bad idea." Even though she said the words and knew they were true she didn't feel them, couldn't comprehend what she meant beyond the vaguest of implications.
"Noted," Mattie replied softly, unable to process anything beyond her want and Alicia's nearness. She held Alicia's gaze, leaning forward until their lips were centimetres apart, looking up at Alicia for permission as Alicia herself closed to remaining gap.
Hands found perches on hips, necks, tangled in hair as the kiss deepened. Mattie took a step back to brace herself against the door, pulling Alicia closer.
Alicia felt the press of Mattie's body against hers and pushed herself even closer, wedging her leg between Mattie's.
Mattie pulled away, desperate to catch her breath, and watched Alicia do the same; her disheveled hair and kiss-swollen lips making Mattie's body ignite all the more.
Alicia searched Mattie's eyes, trying to read her yet-unspoken thought.
"I should at least have the decency to bring you upstairs," Mattie finally uttered, her own eyes heady with need as they stared back into Alicia's.
Alicia nodded, removing her hands from Mattie's shoulders. Mattie took Alicia’s hand and led her to the stairwell, up the stairs, and to her room as Alicia gawked at the space within.
Mattie shut the door behind them and when they kissed again it was full of hunger, mouths meshing and exploring as each touch fuelled their desire.
Mattie slowly backed Alicia in to the bed as Alicia's hands found the edge of Mattie's pants, untucking her undershirt and spreading her fingers against warm skin.
Mattie's hand slid uselessly against the fabric of Alicia's dress until she found the zip in the back. She pulled it down, brushing her knuckles against the skin within.
Alicia broke the kiss, hitching up her dress and sliding it over her head before starting on the bottom buttons of Mattie's shirt.
Mattie started on the top buttons, desperate for the feel of Alicia's bare skin against her own.
Shirt and undershirt off Mattie started to undo her pants, stopping Alicia as she started to pull down her own thigh-high nylons.
Alicia froze and Mattie abandoned her own pants and fell to her knees in front of Alicia, slowly easing down her right stocking and laying kisses in the path of her hands, inner thigh, mid thigh, knee, brushing her fingertip across the back of her knee before kissing her upper calf, the side of her mid calf and then the middle of her foot.
Alicia leaned back on the bed for support, the tender touches sending jolts to her centre as she bit her lip to keep from shivering with need.
Mattie divested her left stocking similarly before standing up again.
Alicia sat on the bed, pulling Mattie towards her in another kiss as she made her way more fully on the bed. Mattie climbed on to the bed, knees either side of Alicia's body as her lips travelled from Alicia's to her jaw, tasting her neck before making her way to her collarbone. She kissed her way across it, Alicia squirming beneath her, as Mattie pulled away Alicia’s bra strap to reveal the rounded top of her breast. She traced her fingers across the top of it before pulling the bra down, looking upward at Alicia with a smile as she saw Alicia gazing down on her, biting her bottom lip. She took Alicia's nipple in her mouth, sucking softly as she watched Alicia's eyes close.
Alicia felt Mattie's mouth on her nipple, a moan escaping at the desire it flared, shooting through her and centring between her legs. She pulled Mattie's head back to her lips, sliding her hands along Mattie’ ribs and to her bra fasten, fiddling with it uselessly.
Mattie pulled away, reaching back her own hand and smiling. "It's reversed," she commented with a smirk, keeping her eyes locked on Alicia.
"Right," Alicia noted, colouring slightly, "You'll excuse me my lack of experience," she intoned raising her eyebrows slightly.
"Of course," Mattie responded gallantly, throwing her own bra to the floor as she leaned in for another kiss, following Alicia's hand as it manoeuvred behind her back and reaching the clasp before Alicia's own hands, undoing it and pulling aside the strap.
Alicia broke the kiss, "Show off," she teased, allowing Mattie to pull the bra off her remaining shoulder and toss it on the floor.
Mattie got up on her knees again, braced on either side of Alicia's thighs, and slid her pants down. Alicia's hands were eager to help and the touch of them against her thighs made Mattie's legs momentarily weak. She threw her pants on the floor and sidled back up to Alicia, sliding her knee between Alicia's legs with measured precision as she took her lips in her mouth again, never tiring of the taste or the way Alicia's mouth responded to her own.
Alicia groaned into Mattie's mouth as Mattie pushed her knee a bit harder than intended, feeling the dampness through Alicia's panties.
Alicia released Mattie's lips to growl her discontent into Mattie's ear. Mattie could feel the vibrations in Alicia's throat as she heard the message, "Stop being such a tease."
Mattie smiled, a hint of devilry in her eyes, as she placed just enough pressure between Alicia's legs before pulling her knee away, "You mean like that?"
Alicia squirmed beneath her, trying to keep the contact, "Yes!" she shouted.
"I suppose I might be able to do something about that," she responded, leaning over and kissing a path from Alicia's breasts, past her stomach and to the edge of her panties. She edged her finger at the hem, bringing it across Alicia's skin back and forth, slowly pulling the panties lower.
"God Mattie please," she begged, her body strung out and tense, desperately needing the release taunting before her.
Mattie pulled Alicia's panties off, discarding them in the pile on the floor before making her way back to Alicia, propping herself up on her arms as their legs meshed dangerously.
"I didn't think you believed in God," Mattie pointed out, enjoying the sight of Alicia before her, completely naked and wanting.
Mattie felt Alicia pushing against her knee and removed it from temptation, "I don't think so," she tutted, moving to kiss Alicia's hip bone before using her tongue to trace patterns from her hip to her upper thigh and from her upper thigh to her inner thigh.
Alicia's breath was coming in uneven gasps as she spread her legs, feeling Mattie's breath between them. She was concentrating so hard on not coming and maintaining as much control as she could that when Mattie's lips wrapped around her clit her body ratcheted to another level of tension, pleasure mixed with desire so desperate it almost hurt. She tried to calm her breathing, suddenly scared of letting herself go like this, pleading and naked beneath Mattie Hayward but she couldn't stop her body as it rocked into Mattie's mouth.
Mattie's tongue tasted her before sucking again, conscious that too much pressure would set her off prematurely as she groaned with need beneath her. She looked up at Alicia for a moment, the look of agony on her face exquisite, and realised that Alicia was too close for her to take the long was about this. She needed release. Mattie slid two fingers in easily before pulling out and adding a third.
Alicia pushed hard against Mattie's fingers, panting with the effort as Mattie positioned her mouth, taking Alicia's clit in her lips once again. She sucked, curving her fingers at the same time, and Alicia covered her mouth with her hands to muffle the litany of swears she was spouting.
The release, when it came, shot through Alicia like infinite blackness, nothing existed but her body and those fingers, pushing into her again and again as the darkness grew blindingly bright and she came back to consciousness to her own high-pitched squeal before her body fell slack across the bed.
Alicia opened her eyes to see Mattie lying beside her, her head propped on her hand.
"Been a while?" she asked, raising her eyebrows.
"You could say that," Alicia admitted, feeling the aftershocks as they scattered sparks across her skin.
She closed her eyes, lifting her arm and tracing it past Mattie's hip and up her side before bringing it back down, feeling Mattie shiver at the touch.
She opened her eyes and moved to her side, facing Mattie, propping herself up and using her free hand to stroke the edge of Mattie's cheek. She smiled, pulling them together for a soft lingering kiss.
She could taste herself on Mattie's lips and the implication shot through her, reigniting her desire as Mattie pulled her closer, her hunger evident.
Her hands traced the curves of Mattie's back, skin soft beneath her fingers, before touching her shoulder blade, shoulder, down her arm and then back to her cheek. She broke the kiss, looking at Mattie intently.
"I'm not any good..." Alicia sputtered in attempted explanation.
Mattie looked at her without comprehension for a moment before realising what she was referring to.
"You don’t have to,” she replied softly.
“I want to,” Alicia answered earnestly, her eyes flicking between Mattie’s, wanting to answer the desire within them.
“Then just do what feels right,” Mattie answered, taking Alicia's hand, kissing her palm and pilling it to her chest.
Alicia tangled her free hand in Mattie's hair, pulling her into another kiss as her other hand moved from Mattie's chest to explore her body. She took in the texture of it, traced the curves, felt the joints, before tracing a line up every finger to the tip and back down to the next. When she had completed this circuit she pulled away from the kiss and brought Mattie's hand to her mouth, kissing each finger before drawing them slowly into her mouth.
Alicia's touch had left Mattie's skin tingling, sparks localised at the sensitive parts of her elbow, behind her ear, the tips of her fingers. As Alicia took her fingers in her mouth Mattie watched transfixed, feeling the heat centre between her thighs. She tried to calm herself, knowing she couldn't rush Alicia, and took a deep breath, exhaling louder than she meant.
Alicia paused, concern written on her face.
"It's okay, I'm just... well... wet," Mattie admitted, looking intently at Alicia, carelessly allowing herself to fall into her eyes. The impact of Alicia's eyes, concern and desire, made her body react all the more and she closed her eyes, forcing herself to relax.
When she opened her eyes again Alicia's mouth was against her stomach, kissing her hip, her thigh.
"Come back," Mattie asked, still finding it hard to breathe, "I want to see you," she added.
Alicia complied, sidling back beside Mattie as her hand continued the path her lips had started, brushing the outside of Mattie's thigh and hip before her fingers found the wetness between Mattie's thighs.
The very thought that she had caused this made her own body react and her breath caught, understanding the depth of the desire she could read in Mattie's eyes.
Mattie felt Alicia's fingers, tentative at first, Alicia adjusting her actions by reading Mattie's response. Alicia's fingers felt so good against her, satiating the first layer of her want while building the deeper need, every touch driving her closer to the edge.
Mattie was about to beg when she felt Alicia's fingers inside her, two and then three as her body pushed them deeper. Alicia shifted, pulling her hand out before her fingers returned, four filling her with an edge of sweet agony as Alicia began a slow rhythm Mattie could do nothing but obey.
Mattie tried to keep her eyes open but they kept falling shut. She forced them open, watching Alicia's concentration as her body tried to force her hand to move faster.
Alicia looked up, seeing the desperation in Mattie's face and speed up, her thumb brushing against Mattie's need as a whimper escaped from Mattie's throat.
"Look at me," Alicia commanded, needing to see Mattie unravel before her.
Mattie's eyes snapped to hers, a thin sheen of sweat evidence of her exertions.
Alicia sped up again, pushing her palm Mattie's need as Mattie's body rocked against her harder, Mattie's eyes falling closed.
Alicia grabbed Mattie's face with her free hand, lining it up with her own and holding it steady.
"Look at me," she commanded again.
Mattie forced her eyes open; her face scrunching as she fought against the need to just feel.
Mattie tried to keep her eyes on Alicia’s face as Alicia’s hand held her jaw firmly into place, but her body was overcome by the sensation of Alicia's other hand, knuckle deep inside her, pressing against her clit with just shy of too much pressure. She felt her body tense, harder and harder as Alicia kept pace.
She held on to Alicia's eyes, reading the concentration and desire held within, but then her eyes closed, her body stopped and she felt the orgasm blast through her, throwing her into freefall, Alicia's image burned behind her eyelids.
When she came back to her senses Alicia was propped up beside her, her four fingers still anchored inside her as she pulsed around them. Alicia drew them out carefully and Mattie watched them glisten before Alicia rolled over, grabbed a tissue and wiped off the excess before returning to Mattie.
"Wow," slipped past Mattie's lips as her breathing stabilised.
"Wow?" Alicia repeated as a question.
"Wow," Mattie repeated, bring up her hand to brush Alicia's cheek.
Alicia leaned over and kissed her before lying on her chest, enjoying the warmth of the contact and trying to keep the memory alive as her brain began to berate her for her actions, noting all the possible repercussions.
Mattie stroked Alicia's hair. "Are you okay?" she asked softly.
Alicia took her head off Mattie's chest and nodded but the smile didn't reach her eyes.
"You're thinking," Mattie recognised.
Alicia nodded again, slower.
"About?" she prompted.
Alicia hesitated.
"I can't be here," she mouthed softly the conflict evident on her face. She sat up in bed with the sheets draped around her, the moon throwing her shadow across Mattie's body.
Mattie leaned forward and took Alicia's chin, pulling her into a brief kiss.
"You can leave if you want to," Mattie began, her voice soft, almost a whisper as she tried to calm Alicia's fears, "I do not know the last person who made me feel even remotely the way I feel with you right now..." she paused, her eyes searching Alicia's. "But if you need to pretend this never happened we can do that," she brushed a stray hair from Alicia's face, "I will do that for you," she proclaimed, her hand still on Alicia's chin.
Alicia's eyes watered because she could read the truth of Mattie's statements in her eyes.
"I don't regret this," Alicia affirmed as the conflict broiled within her, "but I do have to go."
Mattie nodded, pulling away. She watched as Alicia gathered her clothes and put them back on. She got up, pulling on her robe, and walked Alicia downstairs.
"Let me get my driver," Mattie offered, about to detour to the landline.
Alicia put her hand on Mattie's arm, "I'd rather get home on my own," she said evenly.
Mattie nodded, the front Alicia was throwing up chilling her. Alicia turned toward and door and her hand slid from Mattie's arm. She left without looking back.
***
Part 7
Author: Ana_khouri
Fandom: The Good Wife
Pairing: Alicia/Mattie (with unrequited Kalinda/Alicia and cannon Alicia/Peter)
Rating: M
Word Count: over 27,000 total
Disclaimer: I don't own this show... (and am not getting any profit from this etc etc)
Spoilers: Written after Season 4 Ep15 (with bit of eps embedded) but it goes a bit AU from there...
Synopsis:
[Spoilers for Season 4]Mattie befriended Alicia and then declared her intentions to run against her husband. Bad timing or betrayal? And why can’t either of them just accept that they really shouldn’t have anything to do with each other anymore?
Author Note: The very fact that nothing seems to exist for these two, especially after the eye!sex in Season 4 Ep 6 boggles the mind. So I had to fix that. I hope you enjoy reading as much as I enjoyed excuses to rewatch specific Good Wife scenes... ;-D
Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4 / Part 5
***
Mattie was in her home office, trying to piece together an ad campaign, when her phone rang. She saw Alicia's name appear and froze, almost not believing the truth of it.
"Mattie Hayward," she answered, wincing at how formal she sounded.
"Hi Mattie, it's Alicia, we need to talk," she sounded worried and breathless.
"Are you okay?" Mattie asked, Alicia's tone making her instinctively concerned.
"I'm fine. Do you know of a place we won't be recognised?"
"What is wrong with the office?" Mattie asked, brows furrowed.
"I'll tell you later," Alicia offered, her breath still coming in gasps.
"There is a western bar on 4th and Madison that is pretty low class," Mattie suggested, "I can be there in fifteen minutes.
"Ok, I'll meet you there," Alicia acknowledged before hanging up.
Mattie heard the click and pulled her phone from her ear, wondering what it was that had Alicia so riled.
***
Alicia was nursing a frilly drink with an umbrella in a U-shaped end booth when Mattie slid in next to her, signaling for another of whatever Alicia was having.
Now that Mattie was here Alicia's mouth dried, she took another sip, trying to ignore how she had left things the last time they had met and how her body reacted to Mattie’s proximity.
"I'm sorry for running off yesterday," she said without preamble.
Mattie took her drink from the waitress before turning back to Alicia and nodding.
"It was okay, I was out of bounds and I know that," Mattie acknowledged, "We can discuss that later - firstly what is it that was so important?" she asked.
"Peter is having you watched, or Eli is more accurately. He had a picture of us from last night," Alicia spat out.
Mattie took a long sip of what ended up being a half decent martini.
"I suppose I should've considered it," she responded, not nearly as shocked as Alicia had expected her to be.
Alicia looked at her wordlessly for a moment before responding, "How can you be so casual about it? How are you not enraged at the breach of privacy?"
"Even before I was running for public office I was somewhat of a public figure, loosing bits of your privacy is something I've grown used to," she replied frankly, putting her drink down and leaning forward, "I am more concerned that you were caught up in this," she added, looking at Alicia intently.
Alicia met her gaze, feeling the warmth residing there as she fell into it briefly before pulling her gaze away. She shifted the cup in her hand.
"What did Peter say?" Mattie asked, still watching Alicia intently.
"He was grateful it was his side and not yours," she replied ruefully, "I made him get out of the car," she added, a smile crossing her lips at the thought. She sipped at her straw.
Mattie smiled at the thought, "did he?"
Alicia swallowed, "Of course he did," she pronounced with some pride, looking up again.
"Peter Florrick - fighting for Illinois - unless his wife says otherwise," Mattie intoned, before joining Alicia in laughter.
"You should use that in your ad campaign," Alicia joked.
"I think that might raise more questions than it's worth really," Mattie replied jovially before she realised the seriousness of the statement. Despite all justification they both knew they were treading a very fine line.
Silence descended for a moment and Mattie shifted in her seat.
"Alicia," she began, her eyebrows furrowed as she fiddled with her straw in her hand, unable to meet Alicia's eyes, "I wanted to apologise," she continued, forcing herself to meet Alicia's gaze, "I... overstepped my bounds last night and made you feel uncomfortable. I don't want you to be uncomfortable," she rushed out, averting her eyes again, picking up her drink and hurriedly taking a sip.
"Mattie," Alicia started, reaching out for her hand. She brushed her fingers against Mattie's, left them there as if it had been a casual gesture and waited for Mattie to look at her again, "You don't need to apologise," Alicia confirmed, her fingers itching at the contact with Mattie's, she slid them up, covering Mattie's hand and squeezing before withdrawing.
As soon as Alicia's hand had withdrawn Mattie pulled hers off the table and held them in her lap, watching them as she cleared her throat.
"I do... need to apologise," she began, the agitation clear in her voice, "I can't do this with you," she explained, looking up momentarily before averting her gaze again, "I...I want something more than I can ask of you," Mattie explained, pausing briefly before taking money out of her purse and putting it on the table. She stood, slinging her pocketbook over her shoulder. "I'm very sorry Alicia," she finished, connecting with Alicia's shocked gaze before turning from the table and heading for the door.
Alicia watched her, feeling the ripples of her admission radiate through her as she stared on uselessly. She snapped back into action with a start, grabbing her purse and following her out the door, not sure of anything other than the fact she didn't want Mattie to be out of her life.
"Mattie," she yelled when she got on the street, jogging to meet her as quickly as she could on heels as her stomach knotted, unsure what she was going to say when she caught up with her.
Mattie had opened the door to her car but looked up when Alicia called and allowed the other woman to catch up.
"Don't make me say it again Alicia, I'm not sure I can," Mattie preempted before Alicia could speak, her voice catching in her throat.
"Do you trust your driver?" was Alicia's response.
Mattie looked through the car to where her driver was sitting and then back to Alicia, "Yes."
"Then get in," Alicia instructed, her voice still shaky despite the fact her breathing had regulated.
Mattie did as requested and slid into the car, watching as Alicia looked around and then slid in beside her. She told the driver to head to Alicia's house but Alicia corrected her and asked to bring them back to Mattie's. "He can bring me home after," Alicia pointed out, her eyes never leaving Mattie's.
Mattie pulled her eyes away to nod to the driver, the car pulling out of traffic and the privacy glass sliding back in place as she returned her attention to Alicia.
"I know I shouldn't have run off last night," Alicia began, forcing herself to maintain eye contact, "But I was scared. Not of you but of me...," she took a breath, trying to gather her thoughts.
"Alicia, please don't," Mattie unintentionally interrupted, moving to the opposite seat to distance herself, "I have come to terms with not seeing you again, but I can't bear you trying to make me feel better..."
Alicia watched Mattie, overly aware of the woman's venerability. Her heart ached at the sight of it and she grasped for something, anything she could say to relieve the pain Mattie was feeling, but nothing she could think of relayed what she needed to convey. Her eyes fell to Mattie's lips, the memory of her dream making her own tingle at the thought.
Mattie felt Alicia's lips like a blinding light that shorted out all thought. They were gone in a moment and Mattie was staring into Alicia's hesitant eyes, feeling the touch of her hand on her cheek.
They stayed like that for a moment, Alicia perched awkwardly, balancing in the moving vehicle.
"Oh," Mattie finally uttered.
Alicia bit her bottom lip, "Yea," she responded, electricity shooting through her body as their contact nearly made her forget herself entirely, desperate to let herself feel.
The car jolted and Alicia nearly fell but instead made her way with reasonable grace to be seated next to Mattie. Mattie had caught Alicia’s upper arm impulsively in an effort to steady her and now trailed her fingers past the elbow, resting them just above Alicia's wrist, anxious to maintain contact.
Alicia took Mattie's other hand in her own, holding it before letting her fingers trail aimlessly back and forth over Mattie's wrist as the two women stared at each other hesitantly.
Mattie's eyes fell to Alicia's lips, feeling the pull of her own desire.
"Can we do that again?" she whispered, not aware she had said what she was thinking until Alicia responded with a breathy 'Yes.'
Alicia's eyes fell closed as Mattie leaned over and kissed her, softly at first, as if she would disappear at any moment, but then harder, Mattie manoeuvring on the seat and kneeling next to Alicia. Alicia turned in the seat, pulling Mattie closer as she leaned back, Mattie's body pressing against her and creating warm sparks at every point of contact. She opened her mouth to Mattie's tongue; her body flooding with warmth as it slowly explored the inside of her mouth. She felt Mattie's hands on her through the fabric, wishing that she had worn something that more easily exposed her skin as it burned to be touched.
The car slowed and the women froze. Mattie looked out the window to find the gate and the trailing drive before her house.
"Shit," she swore under her breath, extricating herself from Alicia before meeting her eyes again. The wanton gaze cast in her direction made Mattie’s breath hitch, her insides twisting with want.
"Come inside," Mattie begged as the car came to a stop outside the front door.
Alicia could only nod, her head swimming in its own intoxication. She flattened her dress and ran her fingers through her hair before Mattie opened the door and explained to the driver that she was going to stay a while. She followed Mattie to the door and after what seemed like ages of Mattie fiddling with the door keys she ushered Alicia into her house, assuring her that no one else was home.
They stared at each other for a moment, standing so close they could hear the other's breath.
"For the record," Alicia said breathily, her whole body vibrating with Mattie's proximity, "this is a bad idea." Even though she said the words and knew they were true she didn't feel them, couldn't comprehend what she meant beyond the vaguest of implications.
"Noted," Mattie replied softly, unable to process anything beyond her want and Alicia's nearness. She held Alicia's gaze, leaning forward until their lips were centimetres apart, looking up at Alicia for permission as Alicia herself closed to remaining gap.
Hands found perches on hips, necks, tangled in hair as the kiss deepened. Mattie took a step back to brace herself against the door, pulling Alicia closer.
Alicia felt the press of Mattie's body against hers and pushed herself even closer, wedging her leg between Mattie's.
Mattie pulled away, desperate to catch her breath, and watched Alicia do the same; her disheveled hair and kiss-swollen lips making Mattie's body ignite all the more.
Alicia searched Mattie's eyes, trying to read her yet-unspoken thought.
"I should at least have the decency to bring you upstairs," Mattie finally uttered, her own eyes heady with need as they stared back into Alicia's.
Alicia nodded, removing her hands from Mattie's shoulders. Mattie took Alicia’s hand and led her to the stairwell, up the stairs, and to her room as Alicia gawked at the space within.
Mattie shut the door behind them and when they kissed again it was full of hunger, mouths meshing and exploring as each touch fuelled their desire.
Mattie slowly backed Alicia in to the bed as Alicia's hands found the edge of Mattie's pants, untucking her undershirt and spreading her fingers against warm skin.
Mattie's hand slid uselessly against the fabric of Alicia's dress until she found the zip in the back. She pulled it down, brushing her knuckles against the skin within.
Alicia broke the kiss, hitching up her dress and sliding it over her head before starting on the bottom buttons of Mattie's shirt.
Mattie started on the top buttons, desperate for the feel of Alicia's bare skin against her own.
Shirt and undershirt off Mattie started to undo her pants, stopping Alicia as she started to pull down her own thigh-high nylons.
Alicia froze and Mattie abandoned her own pants and fell to her knees in front of Alicia, slowly easing down her right stocking and laying kisses in the path of her hands, inner thigh, mid thigh, knee, brushing her fingertip across the back of her knee before kissing her upper calf, the side of her mid calf and then the middle of her foot.
Alicia leaned back on the bed for support, the tender touches sending jolts to her centre as she bit her lip to keep from shivering with need.
Mattie divested her left stocking similarly before standing up again.
Alicia sat on the bed, pulling Mattie towards her in another kiss as she made her way more fully on the bed. Mattie climbed on to the bed, knees either side of Alicia's body as her lips travelled from Alicia's to her jaw, tasting her neck before making her way to her collarbone. She kissed her way across it, Alicia squirming beneath her, as Mattie pulled away Alicia’s bra strap to reveal the rounded top of her breast. She traced her fingers across the top of it before pulling the bra down, looking upward at Alicia with a smile as she saw Alicia gazing down on her, biting her bottom lip. She took Alicia's nipple in her mouth, sucking softly as she watched Alicia's eyes close.
Alicia felt Mattie's mouth on her nipple, a moan escaping at the desire it flared, shooting through her and centring between her legs. She pulled Mattie's head back to her lips, sliding her hands along Mattie’ ribs and to her bra fasten, fiddling with it uselessly.
Mattie pulled away, reaching back her own hand and smiling. "It's reversed," she commented with a smirk, keeping her eyes locked on Alicia.
"Right," Alicia noted, colouring slightly, "You'll excuse me my lack of experience," she intoned raising her eyebrows slightly.
"Of course," Mattie responded gallantly, throwing her own bra to the floor as she leaned in for another kiss, following Alicia's hand as it manoeuvred behind her back and reaching the clasp before Alicia's own hands, undoing it and pulling aside the strap.
Alicia broke the kiss, "Show off," she teased, allowing Mattie to pull the bra off her remaining shoulder and toss it on the floor.
Mattie got up on her knees again, braced on either side of Alicia's thighs, and slid her pants down. Alicia's hands were eager to help and the touch of them against her thighs made Mattie's legs momentarily weak. She threw her pants on the floor and sidled back up to Alicia, sliding her knee between Alicia's legs with measured precision as she took her lips in her mouth again, never tiring of the taste or the way Alicia's mouth responded to her own.
Alicia groaned into Mattie's mouth as Mattie pushed her knee a bit harder than intended, feeling the dampness through Alicia's panties.
Alicia released Mattie's lips to growl her discontent into Mattie's ear. Mattie could feel the vibrations in Alicia's throat as she heard the message, "Stop being such a tease."
Mattie smiled, a hint of devilry in her eyes, as she placed just enough pressure between Alicia's legs before pulling her knee away, "You mean like that?"
Alicia squirmed beneath her, trying to keep the contact, "Yes!" she shouted.
"I suppose I might be able to do something about that," she responded, leaning over and kissing a path from Alicia's breasts, past her stomach and to the edge of her panties. She edged her finger at the hem, bringing it across Alicia's skin back and forth, slowly pulling the panties lower.
"God Mattie please," she begged, her body strung out and tense, desperately needing the release taunting before her.
Mattie pulled Alicia's panties off, discarding them in the pile on the floor before making her way back to Alicia, propping herself up on her arms as their legs meshed dangerously.
"I didn't think you believed in God," Mattie pointed out, enjoying the sight of Alicia before her, completely naked and wanting.
Mattie felt Alicia pushing against her knee and removed it from temptation, "I don't think so," she tutted, moving to kiss Alicia's hip bone before using her tongue to trace patterns from her hip to her upper thigh and from her upper thigh to her inner thigh.
Alicia's breath was coming in uneven gasps as she spread her legs, feeling Mattie's breath between them. She was concentrating so hard on not coming and maintaining as much control as she could that when Mattie's lips wrapped around her clit her body ratcheted to another level of tension, pleasure mixed with desire so desperate it almost hurt. She tried to calm her breathing, suddenly scared of letting herself go like this, pleading and naked beneath Mattie Hayward but she couldn't stop her body as it rocked into Mattie's mouth.
Mattie's tongue tasted her before sucking again, conscious that too much pressure would set her off prematurely as she groaned with need beneath her. She looked up at Alicia for a moment, the look of agony on her face exquisite, and realised that Alicia was too close for her to take the long was about this. She needed release. Mattie slid two fingers in easily before pulling out and adding a third.
Alicia pushed hard against Mattie's fingers, panting with the effort as Mattie positioned her mouth, taking Alicia's clit in her lips once again. She sucked, curving her fingers at the same time, and Alicia covered her mouth with her hands to muffle the litany of swears she was spouting.
The release, when it came, shot through Alicia like infinite blackness, nothing existed but her body and those fingers, pushing into her again and again as the darkness grew blindingly bright and she came back to consciousness to her own high-pitched squeal before her body fell slack across the bed.
Alicia opened her eyes to see Mattie lying beside her, her head propped on her hand.
"Been a while?" she asked, raising her eyebrows.
"You could say that," Alicia admitted, feeling the aftershocks as they scattered sparks across her skin.
She closed her eyes, lifting her arm and tracing it past Mattie's hip and up her side before bringing it back down, feeling Mattie shiver at the touch.
She opened her eyes and moved to her side, facing Mattie, propping herself up and using her free hand to stroke the edge of Mattie's cheek. She smiled, pulling them together for a soft lingering kiss.
She could taste herself on Mattie's lips and the implication shot through her, reigniting her desire as Mattie pulled her closer, her hunger evident.
Her hands traced the curves of Mattie's back, skin soft beneath her fingers, before touching her shoulder blade, shoulder, down her arm and then back to her cheek. She broke the kiss, looking at Mattie intently.
"I'm not any good..." Alicia sputtered in attempted explanation.
Mattie looked at her without comprehension for a moment before realising what she was referring to.
"You don’t have to,” she replied softly.
“I want to,” Alicia answered earnestly, her eyes flicking between Mattie’s, wanting to answer the desire within them.
“Then just do what feels right,” Mattie answered, taking Alicia's hand, kissing her palm and pilling it to her chest.
Alicia tangled her free hand in Mattie's hair, pulling her into another kiss as her other hand moved from Mattie's chest to explore her body. She took in the texture of it, traced the curves, felt the joints, before tracing a line up every finger to the tip and back down to the next. When she had completed this circuit she pulled away from the kiss and brought Mattie's hand to her mouth, kissing each finger before drawing them slowly into her mouth.
Alicia's touch had left Mattie's skin tingling, sparks localised at the sensitive parts of her elbow, behind her ear, the tips of her fingers. As Alicia took her fingers in her mouth Mattie watched transfixed, feeling the heat centre between her thighs. She tried to calm herself, knowing she couldn't rush Alicia, and took a deep breath, exhaling louder than she meant.
Alicia paused, concern written on her face.
"It's okay, I'm just... well... wet," Mattie admitted, looking intently at Alicia, carelessly allowing herself to fall into her eyes. The impact of Alicia's eyes, concern and desire, made her body react all the more and she closed her eyes, forcing herself to relax.
When she opened her eyes again Alicia's mouth was against her stomach, kissing her hip, her thigh.
"Come back," Mattie asked, still finding it hard to breathe, "I want to see you," she added.
Alicia complied, sidling back beside Mattie as her hand continued the path her lips had started, brushing the outside of Mattie's thigh and hip before her fingers found the wetness between Mattie's thighs.
The very thought that she had caused this made her own body react and her breath caught, understanding the depth of the desire she could read in Mattie's eyes.
Mattie felt Alicia's fingers, tentative at first, Alicia adjusting her actions by reading Mattie's response. Alicia's fingers felt so good against her, satiating the first layer of her want while building the deeper need, every touch driving her closer to the edge.
Mattie was about to beg when she felt Alicia's fingers inside her, two and then three as her body pushed them deeper. Alicia shifted, pulling her hand out before her fingers returned, four filling her with an edge of sweet agony as Alicia began a slow rhythm Mattie could do nothing but obey.
Mattie tried to keep her eyes open but they kept falling shut. She forced them open, watching Alicia's concentration as her body tried to force her hand to move faster.
Alicia looked up, seeing the desperation in Mattie's face and speed up, her thumb brushing against Mattie's need as a whimper escaped from Mattie's throat.
"Look at me," Alicia commanded, needing to see Mattie unravel before her.
Mattie's eyes snapped to hers, a thin sheen of sweat evidence of her exertions.
Alicia sped up again, pushing her palm Mattie's need as Mattie's body rocked against her harder, Mattie's eyes falling closed.
Alicia grabbed Mattie's face with her free hand, lining it up with her own and holding it steady.
"Look at me," she commanded again.
Mattie forced her eyes open; her face scrunching as she fought against the need to just feel.
Mattie tried to keep her eyes on Alicia’s face as Alicia’s hand held her jaw firmly into place, but her body was overcome by the sensation of Alicia's other hand, knuckle deep inside her, pressing against her clit with just shy of too much pressure. She felt her body tense, harder and harder as Alicia kept pace.
She held on to Alicia's eyes, reading the concentration and desire held within, but then her eyes closed, her body stopped and she felt the orgasm blast through her, throwing her into freefall, Alicia's image burned behind her eyelids.
When she came back to her senses Alicia was propped up beside her, her four fingers still anchored inside her as she pulsed around them. Alicia drew them out carefully and Mattie watched them glisten before Alicia rolled over, grabbed a tissue and wiped off the excess before returning to Mattie.
"Wow," slipped past Mattie's lips as her breathing stabilised.
"Wow?" Alicia repeated as a question.
"Wow," Mattie repeated, bring up her hand to brush Alicia's cheek.
Alicia leaned over and kissed her before lying on her chest, enjoying the warmth of the contact and trying to keep the memory alive as her brain began to berate her for her actions, noting all the possible repercussions.
Mattie stroked Alicia's hair. "Are you okay?" she asked softly.
Alicia took her head off Mattie's chest and nodded but the smile didn't reach her eyes.
"You're thinking," Mattie recognised.
Alicia nodded again, slower.
"About?" she prompted.
Alicia hesitated.
"I can't be here," she mouthed softly the conflict evident on her face. She sat up in bed with the sheets draped around her, the moon throwing her shadow across Mattie's body.
Mattie leaned forward and took Alicia's chin, pulling her into a brief kiss.
"You can leave if you want to," Mattie began, her voice soft, almost a whisper as she tried to calm Alicia's fears, "I do not know the last person who made me feel even remotely the way I feel with you right now..." she paused, her eyes searching Alicia's. "But if you need to pretend this never happened we can do that," she brushed a stray hair from Alicia's face, "I will do that for you," she proclaimed, her hand still on Alicia's chin.
Alicia's eyes watered because she could read the truth of Mattie's statements in her eyes.
"I don't regret this," Alicia affirmed as the conflict broiled within her, "but I do have to go."
Mattie nodded, pulling away. She watched as Alicia gathered her clothes and put them back on. She got up, pulling on her robe, and walked Alicia downstairs.
"Let me get my driver," Mattie offered, about to detour to the landline.
Alicia put her hand on Mattie's arm, "I'd rather get home on my own," she said evenly.
Mattie nodded, the front Alicia was throwing up chilling her. Alicia turned toward and door and her hand slid from Mattie's arm. She left without looking back.
***
Part 7