Firefly Ficlet: Distressingly Fuzzy (G)
Short ficlet written for mklutz's Animal Transformation Commentathon.
Title: Distressingly Fuzzy
Rating: G (shocking!)
Characters: Inara, Kaylee, River, Simon
Summary: "So...this is what a duck looks like?"
Located here
Edit: Now also behind the cut, since some people are having difficulty viewing the page.
* * *
"So..." Kaylee frowns, looking down. "This is what a duck looks like? It's more fuzzy than I expected."
"Technically," Inara says, leaning closer, "I think it's a goose." Mal, she's fairly certain, is going to kill them. Or possibly laugh for the next two days. "Notice how it's almost entirely filling the teacup. The size suggests goose. More accurately, gosling. It's immature."
"I guess you can't really make somethin' look fuzzy with wood, though," Kaylee continues. "Duck or otherwise. Ain't a woodcarver I ever known that could do that. Guess it wouldn't be fair to be expecting such things."
"Yes," Inara agrees absently, beginning to feel slightly dazed, "one must have realistic expectations of an artisan. Also, fully grown geese are less…fuzzy." She resists - barely - the urge to poke the tiny creature, while mentally holding back horrified laughter and weighing the odds that Mal will take this in stride. The likelihood is low, unfortunately. On the other hand, it is entirely possible that Jayne will start talking about geese making good eating.
"More than possible," River says, worriedly. "Entirely probable." Picking up the teacup, she raises the gosling to her face. "This is problematic. Also, unintended. I'm sorry, Simon." Her face crumples slightly as she turns to Inara. "Do you think he knows that I'm sorry?"
Inara is momentarily at a loss for words, but Kaylee clasps River on the shoulder. Her voice barely wavers when she says, "I'm sure he knows, River. He's...Simon. He's good like that."
River brightens slightly. "He's always good. He's Simon." She nods cheerily at the gosling. "Good Simon! This fuzziness is new, however. And puzzling."
"Yes, and -"
"And you know what Simon needs?"
To be turned back into a human? Inara thinks, hazily.
"A pool! A teacup can't hold him forever."
The dazed feeling doesn't seem to be going away. In fact, if asked, Inara would say it's getting worse.
Nevertheless, River is correct. As soon as the rest of crew returns, they will inevitably need the teacups for many soothing cups of tea. And possibly the 'medicinal' brandy that Mal has stored away. "Teacups have never been appropriate places for goslings," she mutters.
* * *
Now, don't you want to write some Cute Overload-inspired animal transformation comment fic? I KNOW YOU DO. Quick! Before the end July 9th!
Title: Distressingly Fuzzy
Rating: G (shocking!)
Characters: Inara, Kaylee, River, Simon
Summary: "So...this is what a duck looks like?"
Located here
Edit: Now also behind the cut, since some people are having difficulty viewing the page.
* * *
"So..." Kaylee frowns, looking down. "This is what a duck looks like? It's more fuzzy than I expected."
"Technically," Inara says, leaning closer, "I think it's a goose." Mal, she's fairly certain, is going to kill them. Or possibly laugh for the next two days. "Notice how it's almost entirely filling the teacup. The size suggests goose. More accurately, gosling. It's immature."
"I guess you can't really make somethin' look fuzzy with wood, though," Kaylee continues. "Duck or otherwise. Ain't a woodcarver I ever known that could do that. Guess it wouldn't be fair to be expecting such things."
"Yes," Inara agrees absently, beginning to feel slightly dazed, "one must have realistic expectations of an artisan. Also, fully grown geese are less…fuzzy." She resists - barely - the urge to poke the tiny creature, while mentally holding back horrified laughter and weighing the odds that Mal will take this in stride. The likelihood is low, unfortunately. On the other hand, it is entirely possible that Jayne will start talking about geese making good eating.
"More than possible," River says, worriedly. "Entirely probable." Picking up the teacup, she raises the gosling to her face. "This is problematic. Also, unintended. I'm sorry, Simon." Her face crumples slightly as she turns to Inara. "Do you think he knows that I'm sorry?"
Inara is momentarily at a loss for words, but Kaylee clasps River on the shoulder. Her voice barely wavers when she says, "I'm sure he knows, River. He's...Simon. He's good like that."
River brightens slightly. "He's always good. He's Simon." She nods cheerily at the gosling. "Good Simon! This fuzziness is new, however. And puzzling."
"Yes, and -"
"And you know what Simon needs?"
To be turned back into a human? Inara thinks, hazily.
"A pool! A teacup can't hold him forever."
The dazed feeling doesn't seem to be going away. In fact, if asked, Inara would say it's getting worse.
Nevertheless, River is correct. As soon as the rest of crew returns, they will inevitably need the teacups for many soothing cups of tea. And possibly the 'medicinal' brandy that Mal has stored away. "Teacups have never been appropriate places for goslings," she mutters.
* * *
Now, don't you want to write some Cute Overload-inspired animal transformation comment fic? I KNOW YOU DO. Quick! Before the end July 9th!