(no subject)
My fast didn't last (shock horror), I had 200 cals of chicken with cabbage and gravy (100/1550 cals?), 2 pieces of chocolate (100 cals) and some skittles (100 cals). Including the tea and half a hot chocolate I had for breakfast (260 cals) puts me to about 760-810 calories for the day, twice what I usually have. I feel like I shouldn't even gain from eating that much but I ate dinner at 7pm (far far too late, I should know better) and I was up to 143.4lbs after dinner, 2lbs more than I was this morning, if I'm lucky I'll break even but somehow I doubt that. Up 4.2lbs in 2 days, it's impressive really.
I feel kinda angry, I feel like I SHOULD be able to eat 760 calories if I want, it's still well below 1000 and anything below 1000 is meant to be a starvation diet... I think maybe naturally I'm meant to be fat but I'll be damned if anyone thinks I'm going to spend the rest of my life a fat lump, no sir.
I can lose 6lbs in about 5 days if I put my mind to it, and I am putting my mind to it. I have to lose 1.2lbs a day to make it happen but I'm going to make it happen. As it stands I need to be 139lbs by Tuesday meaning I have Sunday and Monday to lose 4.4lbs, that's 2.2lbs a day, then for the rest of the week (Tuesday to Friday) I have to lose a further 1.6lbs, though I'ld rather lose 1lb a day, I know I can do it because I've done it before.
So. The plan of attack shall be (because this is what works the best). NO FASTING (because it makes me feel entitled like I DESERVE to eat or some shit which is laugable, I clearly don't), breakfast, it can't weight more than 0.5lbs and needs to be around 200 cals. Then tea or water for the rest of the day (half an apple in the evenings if I get hungry). I don't imagine I'm going to make my target of 139.0lbs by Tuesday morning but I'll try my darnedest to reach it.
Lax tomorrow night, that should help me drop a pound or so and also stop my tummy from being so fucking ROUND, it's disgusting.
My bf told me this morning apparently his dad's gf heard me purging last weekend, he passed it off as tummy flu but I can't purge here anymore. Awesome. And embarrassing.
I wore my 6s for some of today and some of yesterday, they've been stretched by 1/2-2/3s of and inch so when they fit a little lose I know I'll be a proper size 6 in most stores, no idea when that's going to be happen, I swear I've been chasing that extra half inch for ever now, am I EVER going to lose that half inch? Who the fuck knows.
Looking at various pics available on the internet, for my height I want to be between 112-100 ( I know I've said this already), that's 15-27lbs less than my current GW... doable. If I continue to manage a loss of 3lbs a week it'll take me another 5-8 weeks after my birthday to reach it, just in time for the end of uni and a month before I go on holiday for my 5th anniversary leaving a nice buffer to get in shape for my anniversary in case exam/dissertation stress gets to me.
MY HANDS ARE SO. COLD. :( Literally freezing :(
I feel kinda angry, I feel like I SHOULD be able to eat 760 calories if I want, it's still well below 1000 and anything below 1000 is meant to be a starvation diet... I think maybe naturally I'm meant to be fat but I'll be damned if anyone thinks I'm going to spend the rest of my life a fat lump, no sir.
I can lose 6lbs in about 5 days if I put my mind to it, and I am putting my mind to it. I have to lose 1.2lbs a day to make it happen but I'm going to make it happen. As it stands I need to be 139lbs by Tuesday meaning I have Sunday and Monday to lose 4.4lbs, that's 2.2lbs a day, then for the rest of the week (Tuesday to Friday) I have to lose a further 1.6lbs, though I'ld rather lose 1lb a day, I know I can do it because I've done it before.
So. The plan of attack shall be (because this is what works the best). NO FASTING (because it makes me feel entitled like I DESERVE to eat or some shit which is laugable, I clearly don't), breakfast, it can't weight more than 0.5lbs and needs to be around 200 cals. Then tea or water for the rest of the day (half an apple in the evenings if I get hungry). I don't imagine I'm going to make my target of 139.0lbs by Tuesday morning but I'll try my darnedest to reach it.
Lax tomorrow night, that should help me drop a pound or so and also stop my tummy from being so fucking ROUND, it's disgusting.
My bf told me this morning apparently his dad's gf heard me purging last weekend, he passed it off as tummy flu but I can't purge here anymore. Awesome. And embarrassing.
I wore my 6s for some of today and some of yesterday, they've been stretched by 1/2-2/3s of and inch so when they fit a little lose I know I'll be a proper size 6 in most stores, no idea when that's going to be happen, I swear I've been chasing that extra half inch for ever now, am I EVER going to lose that half inch? Who the fuck knows.
Looking at various pics available on the internet, for my height I want to be between 112-100 ( I know I've said this already), that's 15-27lbs less than my current GW... doable. If I continue to manage a loss of 3lbs a week it'll take me another 5-8 weeks after my birthday to reach it, just in time for the end of uni and a month before I go on holiday for my 5th anniversary leaving a nice buffer to get in shape for my anniversary in case exam/dissertation stress gets to me.
MY HANDS ARE SO. COLD. :( Literally freezing :(