what a weekend

[ana_blue]

First, let me start by saying I HATE WORK! I have no time for me anymore. We've been so busy at work I haven't been able to check email..let alone update here. I know..I know..that's not what they pay me to do..but I miss it

Comments

[ana_blue]

hmm..not a fan of buddy...mainly because I have to be unique!

I never say horrible things to hubby when we fight...that's not the type of person I am...I am such a pacifist. I say things like "a little more help would be nice. it's not fair to me. and the oh so common "if i am not supposed to feel that way, how am i supposed to feel?" Neither of us ever sya I am going to kill, hurt, hit, nothing....

though i am guilty of saying i sometimes really want to bang my head against a big freaking brick wall.

typically our fights are not yelling matches...just heated discussions in which i typically cry

i know it isn't the best to fight in front of childre...if i had my way i wouldn't fight at all. Another reason i sometimes wonder if i would be better off without hubby..to raise my son in a more peaceful environment. *sighs*

for example...lunch with hubby was spent "discussing" the proper way to discipline a child. It really bites my ass that once upon a time we agreed with everything, our future plans, how we would raise a child..the whole nine yards...now, his opinion on everything has changed (hubby would say "no it hasn't...I haven't changed at all") I literally feel sometimes that I picked the wrong person to have a child with...which makes me even more sad. but how can i control these thoughts? *sighs again*

[mrs_ralph]

I think every couple goes through this stuff (re-examining the relationship)at some point especially after a big, life changing event in their lives.

Meanwhile, philosphy and practice are two totally different things and since the baby is hardly old enough to understand discipline at this stage you all are still just philosphising. I always said I would probably be the Georgia prison system type mother specialising in spanking, leg irons, bull whips and hard labour(particularly when the kids got to be sassy teenagers)but I notice when my sister grounds her kids and takes away their net access/tv/car keys I always go all wimpy on her and ask if she isn't being a little harsh on them.Love is the deciding factor in disciplining kids, I think, and when you look at a kid you care about its pretty hard to be to very harsh with them. So maybe you should wait a while before you worry about how he is going to discipline your son. His tune might change completely when the time actually comes... you know?

Also maybe you should refuse to rise to the bait, if something controversial comes up in conversation just take a step back and analyse whether its timely or just pointless debate, if its timely is it worth charging into the conversation and arguing over or is there is some better way to approach the subject and avoid it turning into an argument? Its a pain but being possessed of a bad temper I have to do that with darn near every conversation about anything controversial around here (like money). Being married is not one of the easiest things to be some days especially when it comes down to decision making.

[ana_blue]

very very sage advice. Youa re perfectly right. I should step back and analyze..and most likely just ignore..controversial topics. It will be very hard to do. once my scruff is raised it takes alot for it to settle...but, obviously one of us needs to step back..and since i KNOW he won't...thank you dear :)