All my life Ive been searching for something, Something never comes, never leads to nothing
It's been awhile since I have updated but I have like 9 billion things on my mind and ranting here eases things a little
So I'll get the biggie out of the way, a girl, or I could say a friend in my life died the other day in a car crash. I can say I really didn't know her that well except for over the internet but when we did talk she was pretty cool and easy going. She was supposed to come to Middlesex but I guess that never fell though, shame I would have liked to show her the ropes of our hick town. But for some reason I'm really bothered by it, I have no real reason to be I never met her in person and I only talked to her maybe 5 times in my life. Why am I bothered so much? Is it because she was so young? Is it because she is causing pain to those who I am close to? Whatever the reason it gives me grief and I want it to leave me. I'm the one who is supposed to help those who it's really affecting.
I just can't fathom the thought of losing a best friend, a friend, a good friend of mine Sam lost a best friend how do you handle that I don't think I could I honestly can't imagine any of my friends dying before their time. I have very few precious things in my life but my friends are what make me, me. Without them I'm an empty shell I live for my friends and just the thought of one of them not being there, I don't want to think about it
But I saw something I have yet to see in my life, people coming together to show their respect for a person in their life. Even people who didn't know her are showing their respects and it makes me wonder if people would do that for me. Would people post endless amounts of comments on myspace saying how great or fun I was? Would they sit around a table and talk about the good side of me or would they look at the negatives and say good riddance? Would people honestly miss me enough that it would affect their life? I guess I'm putting to much thought into it but because of the recent events it just got me thinking.
"Its times like these you learn to live again" Foo Fighters: Times like these
I have been in a slump the past couple weeks, I have been having these constant negative feelings like why should I even bother on somethings. I have no idea why, well I have a idea but I don't think I can post another journal on that topic. Ever have the feeling that what if you said something one way would events turned out different? Or things you left unsaid? I believe that words should be expressed no matter what they are. If you like someone tell them, if you want to say good-bye to someone tell them, if you just want to say someone's hair looks nice say it. I believe words left unsaid are dead words and what good is something that is dead? Don't leave things to die, let them flourish.
So I'll get the biggie out of the way, a girl, or I could say a friend in my life died the other day in a car crash. I can say I really didn't know her that well except for over the internet but when we did talk she was pretty cool and easy going. She was supposed to come to Middlesex but I guess that never fell though, shame I would have liked to show her the ropes of our hick town. But for some reason I'm really bothered by it, I have no real reason to be I never met her in person and I only talked to her maybe 5 times in my life. Why am I bothered so much? Is it because she was so young? Is it because she is causing pain to those who I am close to? Whatever the reason it gives me grief and I want it to leave me. I'm the one who is supposed to help those who it's really affecting.
I just can't fathom the thought of losing a best friend, a friend, a good friend of mine Sam lost a best friend how do you handle that I don't think I could I honestly can't imagine any of my friends dying before their time. I have very few precious things in my life but my friends are what make me, me. Without them I'm an empty shell I live for my friends and just the thought of one of them not being there, I don't want to think about it
But I saw something I have yet to see in my life, people coming together to show their respect for a person in their life. Even people who didn't know her are showing their respects and it makes me wonder if people would do that for me. Would people post endless amounts of comments on myspace saying how great or fun I was? Would they sit around a table and talk about the good side of me or would they look at the negatives and say good riddance? Would people honestly miss me enough that it would affect their life? I guess I'm putting to much thought into it but because of the recent events it just got me thinking.
"Its times like these you learn to live again" Foo Fighters: Times like these
I have been in a slump the past couple weeks, I have been having these constant negative feelings like why should I even bother on somethings. I have no idea why, well I have a idea but I don't think I can post another journal on that topic. Ever have the feeling that what if you said something one way would events turned out different? Or things you left unsaid? I believe that words should be expressed no matter what they are. If you like someone tell them, if you want to say good-bye to someone tell them, if you just want to say someone's hair looks nice say it. I believe words left unsaid are dead words and what good is something that is dead? Don't leave things to die, let them flourish.