"The Emperor's New Clothes" - Beginning of Chapter 1
Firefly possibly most of "TENC", chp. 1
Simon - some Kaylee, River, and Jayne
Simon knew he was staring, but he couldn’t help himself. She had the loveliest mouth he’d ever seen in his life, and he found it nearly impossible to drag his eyes away.
“Simon? Ya listenin’ honey? Look like somethin’ has your brain whirlin’.”
Oh, she was beautiful when he was being inattentive. “Wha… I’m sorry, Kaylee, you’re right; it seems I let my thoughts run off with my ears. What did you say?”
She grinned at him and gave his cheek a soft pat. “It don’t matter none, bao bei. I was just goin’ on about what happened when I was watchin’ Bonny. She’s just the little spittin’ image o’ Zoe, and the cutest thing I ever seen.” She sighed melodramatically and let her eyes flicker between his and the floor. “Almost makes me wish we had a few more babies on the ship.”
He laughed. “You know, River said the same thing to me a few days ago. I had no idea you two liked children so much.”
“Simon…” She crossed her arms over her chest and sighed.
“What is it?” He was genuinely confused; he didn’t think he’d said anything to upset her. “Did I…”
“No, ain’t nothin’ you did, Simon. I’m gonna go back to the engine room - make sure my girl’s doin’ all right. Y’know, I care ‘bout Serenity almost like she was my own kin, almost like I’m sorta her mother.”
Simon smiled warmly. “No one would argue with you there, Kaylee. Your mechanical genius is something we all rely on - and we all appreciate it. Very much.” He leaned over and gave her cheek a quick, soft kiss, hoping to assuage any insecurities she might have been having about how much she was valued. They couldn’t fly without her and he resolved to let no one forget it.
But instead of returning the gesture, Kaylee just rolled her eyes and said, “G’bye, Simon. I’ll see you at dinner,okay darlin’?”
“O-okay, Kaylee.” He watched her walk off, still unsure why she seemed displeased.
“You’re a boob, Simon.”
“River?” He whirled around to see his sister standing there with an exasperated look, her arms crossed, something wadded up in one hand. “Oh… hello mei mei.” He looked back in the direction Kaylee had gone. “I… “ With a frown, he switched his gaze back to River. “I don’t understand. What did I do?”
“Your Kaylee-shine wants a whelp. Time for the Simon-flower to pollinate.”
His eyes widened and his arms came up, hands flailing. “Is Kaylee… B-but she can’t be pregnant, I’m her doctor, I would know.”
“No, not pregnant yet. But wants to be. You are the only one who does not know - and you have assiduously ignored all hinting.”
Well that wasn’t exactly fair - he hadn’t even known they’d been hinting, and if Kaylee wanted to start having children all she had to do was say so.
He started to respond, but just then Jayne came tromping towards them. “Hey River! I - “ He stopped short when he saw Simon and the neutral expression he’d been wearing faded into something much angrier. “You,” he said, pointing towards the doctor. “You keep Crazy here away from me ‘n all my things. Gorram girl took m’damn hat again.” He glared. “And she probably got my bunk all… infested. Y’know - with her crazy germs.”
“Jayne…” Simon let out a breath, not up to dealing with the mercenary’s mad notions. He shook his head and turned to River. “You really shouldn’t antagonize him, you know.” Simon didn’t really like Jayne, but the large man had proven his usefulness time and again - and they were crew. Family. Jayne was rather like the large, slightly dim-witted cousin one picked on but couldn’t really hate.
“Ape-man should make an effort to be a less appealing target.” River grinned at her brother then stuck her tongue out at Jayne.
“Hey,” he said defensively, “ain’t my fault I’s all appealin’ to you. You jus’ watch yourself, girl. I ain’t in any sorta mood to deal with your craziness.”
“Are you ever in a mood to deal with her, Jayne?”
That earned Simon his own glare. “You watch it, too, Doc.” He crossed his arms and stood up straighter, trying his best to increase his already enormous intimidation factor.
And it worked. Simon cleared his throat. “River… Did you, in fact, steal Jayne’s hat?”
She grinned, wearing the bright orange hat with obvious glee. “No.”
“Why you… Gorramit, girl, you give that back!”
“Catch me!” River said with a laugh, pushing past her brother and scampering off.
Jayne was wearing a wide grin, his annoyance from only a second earlier apparently forgotten. “You best run fast, little girl,” he called, giving chase. “I aim to swipe it right off your little feng le head.”
“That was… interesting,” Simon muttered to himself, deciding to go to the infirmary and take another inventory - there didn’t seem to be anything else to do for the time being. His sister certainly could be a brat. But… something about the exchange struck him as odd, though he couldn’t quite put his finger on what.
~~~
-written 9 September 2008
This is the second version of the chapter. I like it more. Here's the first version:
Simon Tam was happy. Life was settling into a familiar pattern. He was on a good ship with a better crew, his sister’s mind was much more stable, and… he had Kaylee, the warmest, most optimistic woman he’d ever met. What he’d done to deserve her he’d never know, but every day he was grateful he’d done it.
And River was doing so well! Though she’d never be the little girl he remembered, she had learned to cope with her altered brain, and was functioning as close to normal as she ever would. It was more than he’d ever let himself even wish for.
The rest of the crew has just gotten back from a job and, to his surprise, there weren’t any injuries that needed patching up. The captain had been right; River was an amazing asset - since she’d been helping out, Mal hadn’t gotten shot, stabbed, or captured and tortured even once. There had been an unfortunate incident involving a poisonous salamander and copious vomiting, but when Simon had questioned her about it, River had only said the captain had deserved it.
Mal and Zoe were in the galley, sharing spoils; they’d been paid in a rather large amount of real food. Kaylee, who’d stayed on the ship with him, was no doubt still in the engine room. Jayne’s location didn’t interest him remotely. The only one missing was River.
He didn’t want to be too inquisitive, he just wanted to make sure that she was all right. There weren’t any large injuries, but that didn’t mean she wouldn’t try to hide something small from him. He was walking towards the crew quarters when he saw her. She and Jayne were standing together, laughing. River twirled away, and Jayne would reach after her. She let him catch her and pull her to his chest.
Simon gasped and they both looked towards him. “Hello Simon,” River said happily. “Would you like to play, too?”
“Oh no,” he said, his voice a little too high. He kept his thoughts controlled as best he could, trying to only emit feelings of warm, brotherly concern. “I… I think I need to find Kaylee.”
He turned away, trying to not even think about what he had seen. Surely it had just been a game. It looked like an excuse to embrace, but surely that was just ridiculous. Jayne had never hidden his intense dislike of River, and she had only ever seemed interested in teasing or - the one time - stabbing him.
He wandered mindlessly down to the engine room. Kaylee spotted him and frowned. “Simon… You all right? Y’look a little off or somethin’.”
He waved her concern away. “It’s all right. I’m fine. A little… unsettled, but fine.” He smiled and she seemed content with that, but a seed of something was firmly planted in his mind.
The next incident occurred about two weeks after that. They were all planet-side in Persephone and hadn’t yet split up. Simon stopped momentarily to look through a window, letting the rest of the group get in front of him. When he turned back to rejoin them, he saw Jayne and River trailing behind the rest, side by side, the man’s large hand resting on the girl’s lower back. And it was drifting lower.
Simon closed his eyes and willed the disturbing image away. And sure enough, when he snapped them open again, Jayne and River were walking several more steps apart. There was no plausible explanation that made him even remotely comfortable, so he bit his lip and continued after them, intent on forgetting anything had ever happened.
This, he thought, has got to be what going mad feels like.
After that, he started watching them a little more closely. River seemed to be aware of the scrutiny, but he concealed the reason from her as well as he could. They didn’t seem to spend more time together than was normal, though there had been occasions when he knew neither of their locations. And their behavior hadn’t changed, either. They still sniped and teased, rarely having any sort of actual conversation. It was true that any hostility seemed to have disappeared, but that could have come from simply getting used to each other.
No one else seemed to have noticed anything strange, so it seemed that maybe he was correct in attributing it all to his imagination. After all, he was probably the least likely to notice even if anything were there.
(-missing scenes-)
He looked surreptitiously over to the two of them, hoping as hard as he could to be proven completely wrong. But no, they were talking in normal voices and the conversation, if not always civil, seemed at least to be without malice. He took a drink, perfectly prepared to stop watching and begin convincing himself once again that it was all in his head. Sure they were playful - but that didn’t mean flirtatious. And sure, they seemed to be friends, but that didn’t mean they wanted to be more.
And Simon was telling himself this, perfectly ready to believe it. Until Jayne stood up. “Good supper, Kaylee,” he said gruffly, nodding to the mechanic. She graced him with a sunny smile. No one else was paying much attention to him, but Simon couldn’t help his stare. And sure enough, he saw River grab the big man’s hand and squeeze gently - and he didn’t seem to mind at all; in fact, he squeezed her hand back.
Simon looked down at his plate, any remaining hunger wiped away. It was true. As bad as he was with people and as much as he’d tried to convince himself it was all his imagination, it seemed that he’d picked up on something real. His sister was in some sort of odd new relationship with Jayne. Jayne.
The genius and the man ape gone wrong!
It made his gut twist into knots to even think about it. He just needed to keep his composure and act normally until he figured out what to do about the situation.
~~~
I may incorporate some of the first version into the second - with Mal and the salamander, which is a story I'd actually like to write - but I haven't exactly decided.
This follows
1: The Reluctant Suitor and
2: An Undisclosed Courtship
They all take place in the same little story-verse. And yes, this is about Simon being the one to figure out that his sister and Jayne are "dating". He tries to get her to like someone else, then to change Jayne into a more appropriate sort of partner, and... well, stuff. That's sort of what I have so far. Hopefully I'll have a better outline soon. Heh.
-ILB
***
Simon - some Kaylee, River, and Jayne
Simon knew he was staring, but he couldn’t help himself. She had the loveliest mouth he’d ever seen in his life, and he found it nearly impossible to drag his eyes away.
“Simon? Ya listenin’ honey? Look like somethin’ has your brain whirlin’.”
Oh, she was beautiful when he was being inattentive. “Wha… I’m sorry, Kaylee, you’re right; it seems I let my thoughts run off with my ears. What did you say?”
She grinned at him and gave his cheek a soft pat. “It don’t matter none, bao bei. I was just goin’ on about what happened when I was watchin’ Bonny. She’s just the little spittin’ image o’ Zoe, and the cutest thing I ever seen.” She sighed melodramatically and let her eyes flicker between his and the floor. “Almost makes me wish we had a few more babies on the ship.”
He laughed. “You know, River said the same thing to me a few days ago. I had no idea you two liked children so much.”
“Simon…” She crossed her arms over her chest and sighed.
“What is it?” He was genuinely confused; he didn’t think he’d said anything to upset her. “Did I…”
“No, ain’t nothin’ you did, Simon. I’m gonna go back to the engine room - make sure my girl’s doin’ all right. Y’know, I care ‘bout Serenity almost like she was my own kin, almost like I’m sorta her mother.”
Simon smiled warmly. “No one would argue with you there, Kaylee. Your mechanical genius is something we all rely on - and we all appreciate it. Very much.” He leaned over and gave her cheek a quick, soft kiss, hoping to assuage any insecurities she might have been having about how much she was valued. They couldn’t fly without her and he resolved to let no one forget it.
But instead of returning the gesture, Kaylee just rolled her eyes and said, “G’bye, Simon. I’ll see you at dinner,okay darlin’?”
“O-okay, Kaylee.” He watched her walk off, still unsure why she seemed displeased.
“You’re a boob, Simon.”
“River?” He whirled around to see his sister standing there with an exasperated look, her arms crossed, something wadded up in one hand. “Oh… hello mei mei.” He looked back in the direction Kaylee had gone. “I… “ With a frown, he switched his gaze back to River. “I don’t understand. What did I do?”
“Your Kaylee-shine wants a whelp. Time for the Simon-flower to pollinate.”
His eyes widened and his arms came up, hands flailing. “Is Kaylee… B-but she can’t be pregnant, I’m her doctor, I would know.”
“No, not pregnant yet. But wants to be. You are the only one who does not know - and you have assiduously ignored all hinting.”
Well that wasn’t exactly fair - he hadn’t even known they’d been hinting, and if Kaylee wanted to start having children all she had to do was say so.
He started to respond, but just then Jayne came tromping towards them. “Hey River! I - “ He stopped short when he saw Simon and the neutral expression he’d been wearing faded into something much angrier. “You,” he said, pointing towards the doctor. “You keep Crazy here away from me ‘n all my things. Gorram girl took m’damn hat again.” He glared. “And she probably got my bunk all… infested. Y’know - with her crazy germs.”
“Jayne…” Simon let out a breath, not up to dealing with the mercenary’s mad notions. He shook his head and turned to River. “You really shouldn’t antagonize him, you know.” Simon didn’t really like Jayne, but the large man had proven his usefulness time and again - and they were crew. Family. Jayne was rather like the large, slightly dim-witted cousin one picked on but couldn’t really hate.
“Ape-man should make an effort to be a less appealing target.” River grinned at her brother then stuck her tongue out at Jayne.
“Hey,” he said defensively, “ain’t my fault I’s all appealin’ to you. You jus’ watch yourself, girl. I ain’t in any sorta mood to deal with your craziness.”
“Are you ever in a mood to deal with her, Jayne?”
That earned Simon his own glare. “You watch it, too, Doc.” He crossed his arms and stood up straighter, trying his best to increase his already enormous intimidation factor.
And it worked. Simon cleared his throat. “River… Did you, in fact, steal Jayne’s hat?”
She grinned, wearing the bright orange hat with obvious glee. “No.”
“Why you… Gorramit, girl, you give that back!”
“Catch me!” River said with a laugh, pushing past her brother and scampering off.
Jayne was wearing a wide grin, his annoyance from only a second earlier apparently forgotten. “You best run fast, little girl,” he called, giving chase. “I aim to swipe it right off your little feng le head.”
“That was… interesting,” Simon muttered to himself, deciding to go to the infirmary and take another inventory - there didn’t seem to be anything else to do for the time being. His sister certainly could be a brat. But… something about the exchange struck him as odd, though he couldn’t quite put his finger on what.
~~~
-written 9 September 2008
This is the second version of the chapter. I like it more. Here's the first version:
Simon Tam was happy. Life was settling into a familiar pattern. He was on a good ship with a better crew, his sister’s mind was much more stable, and… he had Kaylee, the warmest, most optimistic woman he’d ever met. What he’d done to deserve her he’d never know, but every day he was grateful he’d done it.
And River was doing so well! Though she’d never be the little girl he remembered, she had learned to cope with her altered brain, and was functioning as close to normal as she ever would. It was more than he’d ever let himself even wish for.
The rest of the crew has just gotten back from a job and, to his surprise, there weren’t any injuries that needed patching up. The captain had been right; River was an amazing asset - since she’d been helping out, Mal hadn’t gotten shot, stabbed, or captured and tortured even once. There had been an unfortunate incident involving a poisonous salamander and copious vomiting, but when Simon had questioned her about it, River had only said the captain had deserved it.
Mal and Zoe were in the galley, sharing spoils; they’d been paid in a rather large amount of real food. Kaylee, who’d stayed on the ship with him, was no doubt still in the engine room. Jayne’s location didn’t interest him remotely. The only one missing was River.
He didn’t want to be too inquisitive, he just wanted to make sure that she was all right. There weren’t any large injuries, but that didn’t mean she wouldn’t try to hide something small from him. He was walking towards the crew quarters when he saw her. She and Jayne were standing together, laughing. River twirled away, and Jayne would reach after her. She let him catch her and pull her to his chest.
Simon gasped and they both looked towards him. “Hello Simon,” River said happily. “Would you like to play, too?”
“Oh no,” he said, his voice a little too high. He kept his thoughts controlled as best he could, trying to only emit feelings of warm, brotherly concern. “I… I think I need to find Kaylee.”
He turned away, trying to not even think about what he had seen. Surely it had just been a game. It looked like an excuse to embrace, but surely that was just ridiculous. Jayne had never hidden his intense dislike of River, and she had only ever seemed interested in teasing or - the one time - stabbing him.
He wandered mindlessly down to the engine room. Kaylee spotted him and frowned. “Simon… You all right? Y’look a little off or somethin’.”
He waved her concern away. “It’s all right. I’m fine. A little… unsettled, but fine.” He smiled and she seemed content with that, but a seed of something was firmly planted in his mind.
The next incident occurred about two weeks after that. They were all planet-side in Persephone and hadn’t yet split up. Simon stopped momentarily to look through a window, letting the rest of the group get in front of him. When he turned back to rejoin them, he saw Jayne and River trailing behind the rest, side by side, the man’s large hand resting on the girl’s lower back. And it was drifting lower.
Simon closed his eyes and willed the disturbing image away. And sure enough, when he snapped them open again, Jayne and River were walking several more steps apart. There was no plausible explanation that made him even remotely comfortable, so he bit his lip and continued after them, intent on forgetting anything had ever happened.
This, he thought, has got to be what going mad feels like.
After that, he started watching them a little more closely. River seemed to be aware of the scrutiny, but he concealed the reason from her as well as he could. They didn’t seem to spend more time together than was normal, though there had been occasions when he knew neither of their locations. And their behavior hadn’t changed, either. They still sniped and teased, rarely having any sort of actual conversation. It was true that any hostility seemed to have disappeared, but that could have come from simply getting used to each other.
No one else seemed to have noticed anything strange, so it seemed that maybe he was correct in attributing it all to his imagination. After all, he was probably the least likely to notice even if anything were there.
(-missing scenes-)
He looked surreptitiously over to the two of them, hoping as hard as he could to be proven completely wrong. But no, they were talking in normal voices and the conversation, if not always civil, seemed at least to be without malice. He took a drink, perfectly prepared to stop watching and begin convincing himself once again that it was all in his head. Sure they were playful - but that didn’t mean flirtatious. And sure, they seemed to be friends, but that didn’t mean they wanted to be more.
And Simon was telling himself this, perfectly ready to believe it. Until Jayne stood up. “Good supper, Kaylee,” he said gruffly, nodding to the mechanic. She graced him with a sunny smile. No one else was paying much attention to him, but Simon couldn’t help his stare. And sure enough, he saw River grab the big man’s hand and squeeze gently - and he didn’t seem to mind at all; in fact, he squeezed her hand back.
Simon looked down at his plate, any remaining hunger wiped away. It was true. As bad as he was with people and as much as he’d tried to convince himself it was all his imagination, it seemed that he’d picked up on something real. His sister was in some sort of odd new relationship with Jayne. Jayne.
The genius and the man ape gone wrong!
It made his gut twist into knots to even think about it. He just needed to keep his composure and act normally until he figured out what to do about the situation.
~~~
I may incorporate some of the first version into the second - with Mal and the salamander, which is a story I'd actually like to write - but I haven't exactly decided.
This follows
1: The Reluctant Suitor and
2: An Undisclosed Courtship
They all take place in the same little story-verse. And yes, this is about Simon being the one to figure out that his sister and Jayne are "dating". He tries to get her to like someone else, then to change Jayne into a more appropriate sort of partner, and... well, stuff. That's sort of what I have so far. Hopefully I'll have a better outline soon. Heh.
-ILB
***