Another Idea

[an_ardent_rain]

Bleach   new, random rooftop idea (v.1) 
Isshin/Masaki

I have no idea where this fic is going to go.  I have NOTHING for it, no words or sentences or anything.  I'm about to start on it for the first time right now.  Heh.  The only things I know are that it's Isshin/Masaki, that it's based on a quote, and that - if all goes well - there will be very

Comments

[an_ardent_rain]

Wow - was that some kind of contact? And you actually asked about ME? Even though it's only through my journal...

What's been up? I wanna bitch at you for not calling or e-mailing or texting or anything, but I don't think that's fair.

I'm doing pretty damn badly, actually, because this is National Suicide Prevention week and the cruel sense of irony that overshadows my life made the executive decision to make me as miserable as possible.

But what does that matter? I mean, that's crazy! An emotionally volatile girl in a situaion where she's thrust into a brand new environment with only one close friend nearby? Why wouldn't I be fine?!

Okay, the sarcasm was unnecessary. I apologize. Blah. This took a harsh turn quickly. I'm not mad at you, but it doesn't feel great to have some professing to be close to a best friend to you only say something because of a random journal entry.

But whatever. See? Obviously my expectations were too high. No one else (not including Zach, though he's bad about this, too) - besides Kimberly, who I've been texting - has answered my e-mails or texts, either. Why should I expect that from you?

I'm fine. If you're getting all worried and guilty - DON'T. How were you to know that I'm having difficulty? I mean, I know that earlier I made it sound like you should have guessed, but I never honestly expected you to. Don't get worried about me. If you wanna worry, start calling me every day or something. If you see me lose control or freak out, then you can worry.

I'm okay. I just have weird moments. I said I was doing badly, which wasn't exactly a lie, but... I'm great NOW, so any bad moments are sort of out of my mind.

And...

Well, nevermind. See? I'm crazy. You're probably going to hate me now. I can't even remember what all I've said, so I probably can't blame you.

Blah.

As you can see, this might have been a sore subject for me. Well, it was yesterday, so be glad you didn't catch me then or I would have probably ranted three times as much.

Actually, you should just ignore me and pretend you never read this. Garr. >.<

See? This is why I don't like myself - I do stupid things like this.

[vhsgooey]

Wow, and you want me to read this an not feel like a bad person? If you really want that then you shouldn't have typed this at all. I've had a terrible week too, and I guess one of our phones must be messing up because i've sent you atleast 7 texts. I thought you were ignoring me.

[an_ardent_rain]

Why you feel the need to throw in my face that I made you feel bad, I've no idea, but I hope you realize that I would never do that intentionally.

I'm not gonna bitch and moan about how miserable I am, but trust me when I say that my emotional state is on the brink of something very, very, very, very BAD.

I am not trying to get out of responsibility for my words, but I am not thinking clearly, my emotions cloud my judgement, and I'm having trouble coping. I was trying to be honest.

I guess that's really all I can say.

[vhsgooey]

I can't respond to this. I'm sorry i'm such a bad friend.

[an_ardent_rain]

NO! Please don't think that. Please... Please, please, please don't think that!!!

I'm sorry. I guess I'm sorry, you're sorry, we're sorry. You're a good friend. I honestly think so. I mean, you might not understand my twisting, weird emotions, but almost nobody but people suffering from the same thing do! The only person I've ever talked to who did was Zach's mom. I'm SORRY. I never meant to make you think you were a bad friend or anything. I'm so sorry. What can I do to make it up to you?

I really honestly appreciate your friendship. I'd really like it if you'd respond by this or text or e-mail.

[vhsgooey]

Idk it seems this week that i'm not really good for anything. I didn't do so hot in school, i haven't been feeling well, I feel like i'm losing face in band, the directors seem like they don't like me so much, and well i kinda got turned down by 2 girls.