Might Once Have Been "Desperately Wanting"
Inuyasha scene from ? chp. of multi-chp. fic
Miroku/Sango (one-sided)
"Well what is it?" he asked patiently, curious as to what could possibly be making her so nervous.
"Okay, I suppose I should go ahead and get it out." She was fidgeting, trying to stall as long as she could. To finally put an end to her feelings for him, or to determine If he would ever have the same feelings for her, she decided to question him, using the oblique and nearly incomprehensible conversation with the arrogant Sesshoumaru as a guide.
"Sango, what is it? You know I’m willing to listen to anything you have to say." She smiled weakly at him and nodded.
"I know. So alright then. From the way you act, I can only guess that you have a lot- or at least some- experience with women. You’re particularly annoying habit of-"
"Yes, yes," he said, sensing her agitation about that subject. "We both know what you mean. But what of it?"
"At least you aren’t trying to deny it, because we both know that you are absolutely incorrigible. Not even beating you senseless will stop you."
He laughed a little and said, "Oh yes, but the pleasure is worth the pain."
"Just stop. I’m not even going into that subject. But as I was saying, you... you are around women a lot. You flirt, you, "her face turned into a snarl "grope, and you ask that absolutely unbelievable request of yours. Does it ever really mean anything to you though?" Her cheeks began to turn a little red. "Do you do it as your own twisted way of telling someone you’re interested, or can you just not keep your hands to yourself? Have you ever really cared for one of the girls you’ve latched onto?"
A pleasant-looking expression of confusion passed quickly over his face. He sighed and said, "I don’t just go after everything you know. Even I have certain standards."
"Like what: she has to be cute?"
He put on a falsely injured look, and began to protest. "Why Sango, you clearly misjudge me. I only go after girls with the highest of characters and the purest of hearts."
Skipping over the hundreds of replies she could make to that obvious line, she asked, "What I really want to know is have you ever been in love? I mean really and truly in love- not just an infatuation or a crush." She looked down, embarrassed again.
Miroku shook his head. "I’ve met many, many women, but I don’t think I can boast ever having really been in love with any of them. I’ve cared deeply for a few, but love is something that had eluded me."
Sango was wringing her hands nervously as he spoke. "Well what do you think love would be like? How do you think you’d feel if you fell in love; I mean how would you describe it?"
"I really don’t know. There’s just no way for me to be able to describe something I haven’t ever known for myself. I’m sure that it is a most wonderful feeling, but until I fall in love myself, I do not think I can help you with it’s subtle intricacies. Nor do I think I can give you an accurate account of it." He gazed curiously at her for a moment and asked, "Why the sudden interest?"
"Oh! Well, I was only thinking about it, and wondering what being in love must be like. Can’t you just imagine the spark running up your spine- the waterfall of pure emotion raining down on you?"
"You seem to know much about it yourself," he lightly teased, "perhaps you’re the one who’s fallen in love."
And you still don’t see it, she groused to herself. "No, I was really just wondering what it’s like. It must be so amazing to be able to share that feeling with someone. I want to be able to be that happy. I want someone to love me- to tell me that my caresses complete him, that he would give anything to see me smile. Am I selfish for wanting that? Is it too much to ask for? Because whenever I do give over to these wishes, I always remember Kohaku." Her voice began to waver. "He’s at the forefront of my mind all the time. And I don’t think I deserve to be happy unless he is too."
She smiled weakly at him, but he shook his head. "No, you do deserve all of that. Your life was taken away from you, and you’ve had to suffer more than you ever should have. I think that you are one of the most unselfish people I know. And not only will you find the love you seek, but I am also certain that your brother will be saved."
Miroku spoke with such kind determination, that she couldn’t help but want to believe him. He straightened up and put a hand gently on her shoulder. She looked up at him in confusion, but he just granted her a sad smile. "Be strong Sango," he said, an echo of words she heard long ago, "I know that one day things will be right again."
She just watched him walk off, but was left with more questions than she had to begin with. A sigh let itself out as she too began to walk away. "Maybe he was right," she said to herself. "Maybe there is a man for me besides Miroku. I’m not sure I want someone else, but I don’t think that he loves me in return. It is obvious he cares deeply for me, he can be so kind, but I’m not sure he’ll ever truly be in love with me."
Heh. I can't be sure when I wrote this, but... It was A WHILE ago. (I guessed from the notebook I found it in.) Yeah. It came from a sorry attempt at a Sesshoumaru/Sango story, the dregs of which became fodder for my "wound story" - that will, by the way, probably never get written. Heh. So that's it. Adios.
ILB
***
Miroku/Sango (one-sided)
"Well what is it?" he asked patiently, curious as to what could possibly be making her so nervous.
"Okay, I suppose I should go ahead and get it out." She was fidgeting, trying to stall as long as she could. To finally put an end to her feelings for him, or to determine If he would ever have the same feelings for her, she decided to question him, using the oblique and nearly incomprehensible conversation with the arrogant Sesshoumaru as a guide.
"Sango, what is it? You know I’m willing to listen to anything you have to say." She smiled weakly at him and nodded.
"I know. So alright then. From the way you act, I can only guess that you have a lot- or at least some- experience with women. You’re particularly annoying habit of-"
"Yes, yes," he said, sensing her agitation about that subject. "We both know what you mean. But what of it?"
"At least you aren’t trying to deny it, because we both know that you are absolutely incorrigible. Not even beating you senseless will stop you."
He laughed a little and said, "Oh yes, but the pleasure is worth the pain."
"Just stop. I’m not even going into that subject. But as I was saying, you... you are around women a lot. You flirt, you, "her face turned into a snarl "grope, and you ask that absolutely unbelievable request of yours. Does it ever really mean anything to you though?" Her cheeks began to turn a little red. "Do you do it as your own twisted way of telling someone you’re interested, or can you just not keep your hands to yourself? Have you ever really cared for one of the girls you’ve latched onto?"
A pleasant-looking expression of confusion passed quickly over his face. He sighed and said, "I don’t just go after everything you know. Even I have certain standards."
"Like what: she has to be cute?"
He put on a falsely injured look, and began to protest. "Why Sango, you clearly misjudge me. I only go after girls with the highest of characters and the purest of hearts."
Skipping over the hundreds of replies she could make to that obvious line, she asked, "What I really want to know is have you ever been in love? I mean really and truly in love- not just an infatuation or a crush." She looked down, embarrassed again.
Miroku shook his head. "I’ve met many, many women, but I don’t think I can boast ever having really been in love with any of them. I’ve cared deeply for a few, but love is something that had eluded me."
Sango was wringing her hands nervously as he spoke. "Well what do you think love would be like? How do you think you’d feel if you fell in love; I mean how would you describe it?"
"I really don’t know. There’s just no way for me to be able to describe something I haven’t ever known for myself. I’m sure that it is a most wonderful feeling, but until I fall in love myself, I do not think I can help you with it’s subtle intricacies. Nor do I think I can give you an accurate account of it." He gazed curiously at her for a moment and asked, "Why the sudden interest?"
"Oh! Well, I was only thinking about it, and wondering what being in love must be like. Can’t you just imagine the spark running up your spine- the waterfall of pure emotion raining down on you?"
"You seem to know much about it yourself," he lightly teased, "perhaps you’re the one who’s fallen in love."
And you still don’t see it, she groused to herself. "No, I was really just wondering what it’s like. It must be so amazing to be able to share that feeling with someone. I want to be able to be that happy. I want someone to love me- to tell me that my caresses complete him, that he would give anything to see me smile. Am I selfish for wanting that? Is it too much to ask for? Because whenever I do give over to these wishes, I always remember Kohaku." Her voice began to waver. "He’s at the forefront of my mind all the time. And I don’t think I deserve to be happy unless he is too."
She smiled weakly at him, but he shook his head. "No, you do deserve all of that. Your life was taken away from you, and you’ve had to suffer more than you ever should have. I think that you are one of the most unselfish people I know. And not only will you find the love you seek, but I am also certain that your brother will be saved."
Miroku spoke with such kind determination, that she couldn’t help but want to believe him. He straightened up and put a hand gently on her shoulder. She looked up at him in confusion, but he just granted her a sad smile. "Be strong Sango," he said, an echo of words she heard long ago, "I know that one day things will be right again."
She just watched him walk off, but was left with more questions than she had to begin with. A sigh let itself out as she too began to walk away. "Maybe he was right," she said to herself. "Maybe there is a man for me besides Miroku. I’m not sure I want someone else, but I don’t think that he loves me in return. It is obvious he cares deeply for me, he can be so kind, but I’m not sure he’ll ever truly be in love with me."
Heh. I can't be sure when I wrote this, but... It was A WHILE ago. (I guessed from the notebook I found it in.) Yeah. It came from a sorry attempt at a Sesshoumaru/Sango story, the dregs of which became fodder for my "wound story" - that will, by the way, probably never get written. Heh. So that's it. Adios.
ILB
***