Mercilessly stolen from rabbitron!
This one is totally for toddskyfire!
The 21 Rules Of Halloween!
1. When it appears that you have killed the monster, NEVER check to see if it's REALLY dead.
2. Never read a book of demon summoning aloud, even as a joke.
3. Do not search the basement, especially if the power has gone out.
4. If your children speak to you in Latin or any other language which they should not know, SHOOT THEM IMMEDIATELY! It will save you a lot of grief in the long run. However, it will probably take several rounds to kill them, so be prepared. This also applies to kids who speak with somebody else's voice.
5. When you have the benefit of numbers, NEVER pair off and go alone.
6. As a general rule, don't solve puzzle boxes that open the portals to Hell.
7. Never stand in, on, or above a grave, tomb, or crypt. This would apply
to any other house of the dead as well. If you're searching for something that caused a loud noise and then find out that it's just the cat, GET THE HELL OUT OF THERE!!!
9. If appliances start operating by themselves, do not check for short circuits or to see if it's plugged in; just get out of the house immediately.
10. Do not take ANYTHING from the dead.
11. If you find a town which looks deserted, there's probably a good reason for it. Do NOT stop and have a look around.
12. Don't fool with recombinant DNA technology unless you're sure you
know what you're doing.
13. If you're running away from the monster, you should expect to trip or fall down at least twice, even more so if you are female. Also note that; despite the fact that you are running and the monster is merely stumbling along, it's still moving fast enough to catch up with you.
14. If your companions suddenly begin to exhibit uncharacteristic behavior such as hissing, fascination for blood, glowing eyes, increasing hairiness, and so on, KILL THEM IMMEDIATELY!!!
15. Stay away from certain geographical locations, some of which are listed here:
Amityville
Elm Street
Transylvania
Nilbog [you're in trouble if you recognize this one]
anywhere in Texas where chainsaws are sold
the Bermuda Triangle
any small town in Maine.
16. If your car runs out of gas at night on a lonely road, do NOT go to the nearby deserted-looking house to phone for help. If you think that it is
strange you ran out of gas because you thought you had almost a full tank, SHOOT YOURSELF. You are going to die anyway, and most likely be eaten.
17. Beware of strangers bearing tools. For example :
chainsaws
staple guns,
hedge trimmers
electric carving knives
combines
lawnmowers
butane torches
soldering irons
bandsaws
any devices made from deceased companions.
18. If you find that your house is built upon a cemetery, NOW is the time to MOVE IN WITH YOUR IN-LAWS. This also applies to houses that had previous inhabitants who went mad or committed suicide or died in some horrible fashion, or had inhabitants who performed satanic practices.
19. Dress appropriately. When investigating a noise downstairs in an old
house, women should NOT wear a flimsy negligee. And carry a flashlight, NOT a candle.
20. Do not mention the names of demons around open flames, as these can
flare suddenly. Be especially careful of fireplaces in this regard.
21. Do not go looking for witches in the Maryland countryside.
haw haw haw...
The 21 Rules Of Halloween!
1. When it appears that you have killed the monster, NEVER check to see if it's REALLY dead.
2. Never read a book of demon summoning aloud, even as a joke.
3. Do not search the basement, especially if the power has gone out.
4. If your children speak to you in Latin or any other language which they should not know, SHOOT THEM IMMEDIATELY! It will save you a lot of grief in the long run. However, it will probably take several rounds to kill them, so be prepared. This also applies to kids who speak with somebody else's voice.
5. When you have the benefit of numbers, NEVER pair off and go alone.
6. As a general rule, don't solve puzzle boxes that open the portals to Hell.
7. Never stand in, on, or above a grave, tomb, or crypt. This would apply
to any other house of the dead as well. If you're searching for something that caused a loud noise and then find out that it's just the cat, GET THE HELL OUT OF THERE!!!
9. If appliances start operating by themselves, do not check for short circuits or to see if it's plugged in; just get out of the house immediately.
10. Do not take ANYTHING from the dead.
11. If you find a town which looks deserted, there's probably a good reason for it. Do NOT stop and have a look around.
12. Don't fool with recombinant DNA technology unless you're sure you
know what you're doing.
13. If you're running away from the monster, you should expect to trip or fall down at least twice, even more so if you are female. Also note that; despite the fact that you are running and the monster is merely stumbling along, it's still moving fast enough to catch up with you.
14. If your companions suddenly begin to exhibit uncharacteristic behavior such as hissing, fascination for blood, glowing eyes, increasing hairiness, and so on, KILL THEM IMMEDIATELY!!!
15. Stay away from certain geographical locations, some of which are listed here:
Amityville
Elm Street
Transylvania
Nilbog [you're in trouble if you recognize this one]
anywhere in Texas where chainsaws are sold
the Bermuda Triangle
any small town in Maine.
16. If your car runs out of gas at night on a lonely road, do NOT go to the nearby deserted-looking house to phone for help. If you think that it is
strange you ran out of gas because you thought you had almost a full tank, SHOOT YOURSELF. You are going to die anyway, and most likely be eaten.
17. Beware of strangers bearing tools. For example :
chainsaws
staple guns,
hedge trimmers
electric carving knives
combines
lawnmowers
butane torches
soldering irons
bandsaws
any devices made from deceased companions.
18. If you find that your house is built upon a cemetery, NOW is the time to MOVE IN WITH YOUR IN-LAWS. This also applies to houses that had previous inhabitants who went mad or committed suicide or died in some horrible fashion, or had inhabitants who performed satanic practices.
19. Dress appropriately. When investigating a noise downstairs in an old
house, women should NOT wear a flimsy negligee. And carry a flashlight, NOT a candle.
20. Do not mention the names of demons around open flames, as these can
flare suddenly. Be especially careful of fireplaces in this regard.
21. Do not go looking for witches in the Maryland countryside.
haw haw haw...