(no subject)
God dammit.... will some mistakes haunt you for the rest of your life? No matter how I try, there is still one ruined friendship floating out there from my horrible depression time, and once again I've tried to extend the olive branch, and once again I get nothing but hatred back. So since I know she doesn't read this livejournal, forgive me for venting for a second:
FUCK YOU TOO ERICA TAYLOR!!! YOU'RE A SELFISH CRAZY BITCH WHO DESTROYS ALL YOUR FRIENDSHIPS AND WOULDN'T KNOW HOW TO REALLY CARE ABOUT SOMEONE IF YOUR LIFE DEPENDED ON IT!!!! CARING ABOUT YOU NEARLY KILLED ME AND I WON'T DO IT AGAIN.
Sorry. It's just so frustrating to try and make amends when the other person refuses to admit any wrong doing, lies about you, and throws all your efforts back in your face. And yet I still care, because for a while I thought she was my only friend, and for that kindness alone I can't feel like she's hurt by me and not try to fix it. I don't want to be her friend, I just don't want to add to her baggage load unjustly. Is that weird? Or impossible? Or am I just giving her too much credit, because she doesn't seem to understand or want to be any part of making things right.
In other news, the reason you hear so little from me on here is that other than this one thing which happened today, my life is going gang-busters (which means really fucking good). I read all of your entries, though, my lovelies. And today is especially exciting because we have the first read through of the show I'm directing! yay! love to all
FUCK YOU TOO ERICA TAYLOR!!! YOU'RE A SELFISH CRAZY BITCH WHO DESTROYS ALL YOUR FRIENDSHIPS AND WOULDN'T KNOW HOW TO REALLY CARE ABOUT SOMEONE IF YOUR LIFE DEPENDED ON IT!!!! CARING ABOUT YOU NEARLY KILLED ME AND I WON'T DO IT AGAIN.
Sorry. It's just so frustrating to try and make amends when the other person refuses to admit any wrong doing, lies about you, and throws all your efforts back in your face. And yet I still care, because for a while I thought she was my only friend, and for that kindness alone I can't feel like she's hurt by me and not try to fix it. I don't want to be her friend, I just don't want to add to her baggage load unjustly. Is that weird? Or impossible? Or am I just giving her too much credit, because she doesn't seem to understand or want to be any part of making things right.
In other news, the reason you hear so little from me on here is that other than this one thing which happened today, my life is going gang-busters (which means really fucking good). I read all of your entries, though, my lovelies. And today is especially exciting because we have the first read through of the show I'm directing! yay! love to all