I'm Back!

[amythest_dragon]

Sort of, at any rate. As some of you know, I have locked my journal as friends only due to certain circumstances. I hated having to do that, but I couldn't risk the potential flaming that could have happened either to me or to some of my readers. I have sent a note to those of you who read my journal through my Facebook cross postings this way you

Comments

[anonymous]

No need to be sneaky anymore. every time you do I find out. That is why 3 strikes youre out!!! We now have divorce papers lets get it done and over. Then you can openly go back to Brendan Podger.You say you want to fix things between us yet keep IM ing or e-mailing him while stating that you love me. please stop the telling of lies to him and me. you made up a lot of stuff about us mostly me to respond to Brendans sugestions (like the story about counseling and how bad it weny for us) We both know it didnt happen. There are plenty more you should clean them up He belived every word you said. Be honest with him so you dont treat him the way you did me. You have it in you to be a better person than that. Stop making stuff up just to get asympathetic ear. Playing game like a 13 year old has done nothing but cuase hurt for everyone involved. Please do what is needed for your heart. Make it so the kids myself Jo and brendan canstpo feelind the need to worry about you.

Brendan when you read this please accept my apolagy for all that has been said and done. I now understand that you only worked with what she had told you about me. Some may have been true but alot of it was not.
I dont feel the need to hold anything against you anymore. I was part of Bonnys game just as you are make way to be her freind again let the love blossem. Help her be honest with herself and those she is in contact with. I want noting more than for Bonny to be happy. If you can give that to her great. I wish you her and everyone else the best may life treat you well.

[amythest_dragon]

Dan,

This is not what I want. I desperately want to work things out with you.

Brendan and Jo,

I am so sorry that there are things I have told you that were greatly exaggerated and even out right lied about. We never did start to go to any counseling like I had said before. Now I do, I really really do. Yes, there were times that Dan did things that were aggrivating but all in all he did do many things that were good. He made sure that the kids were taken to Dr. appointments when they needed to go. He fixed meals for the family more times than I did. He did his best to keep things in the house repaired. I didn't stop anybody from saying things that were demeaning about him and even joined in. This was wrong, too.

I don't know why I did what I did. I am guessing that I craved a sympathetic ear and a shoulder. There is no excuses for any of it and I am deeply sorry to everybody. Everytime I told Dan that I wanted to work things out, I strung him along in thinking that I was deeply in love with him when in fact I started new email accounts to keep things going. This was wrong, I should not have done this and should have truly focused on the marriage in making it work. I should not have tried to hang on to something that was an improbability at best. I have hurt him in the worst possible way and am so sorry that I did it.

I do not want a divorce over this. I want to work things out. I do love you, Dan. I really, truly do. I am promising you this not only in private but in public for all to see. I am not going to sneak around behind your back any longer. I have no intention of doing anything that will cause the marriage harm or to break your heart any longer. I am wanting to devote my entire attentions to you and to do whatever I can to fix our relationship. No more games, no more hiding. No more creating secret accounts or anything of the sort. I am only interested to repair this damaged relationship and not anything more from anyone. There is no need for that green light.

Kit,

I have no idea what you or Jo talked about or what was said between the two of you. The only thing I have heard was that Dan was refered to in a manner that was unflattering. I know that what you have heard was only second hand but without knowing all the facts, it wasn't right to jump to those conclusions. I appologise that things got so out of hand that this was the only impression you had.