life update
tryin to work out. after work today i did push ups and back walk overs all over the apartment haha. I wanna get strong again. I mean i know i wanna get back into shape and loose some weight but i really just wanna get my strength back. I know im never gonna be exactly where i was in high school but hopefully i can gain my muscle back and start running and maybe start playing lacrosse again. I don't really wanna play on the club team here again, i mean i wanna find a rec team or something. I wish i knew more ppl that played and could throw a ball around with me.
build-a-bear wasn't SO lame today. usually i can't wait to get out of that shit hole. and maybe it was the adderall and maybe it was the fact that all i did was lead parties all day, but it wasn't so terrible. i don't like any of the new ppl. i mean no one is nearly as fun as all the old ppl that left and graduated but maybe i will give them another chance.
i need to do something drastic physcially. i need to shave my head or atleast dread it, or get another tattoo, or pierce something... something i NEED to do. I'm so bored with myself, with my 'look' hahah not that i have a 'look'. i'm so boring, my clothes my hair my everything. I mean i just dress comfortable and usually have my hair up but it's getting lame. I look around at all the ppl who i would potentially like to meet and i always notice ppl that stand out phsycially. i know changing myself on the outside wont really do anything in terms of me meeting people but maybe it will give me more confidence or something.
my life is so boring. same old routine, same old songs on guitar, same music, same clothes, same people, same things to do, same cycle of classes and work. I know i find some comfort in it but its WAY past that. i reeeaaallly dislike it. i'm jumping out of my skin in this town. im again lost and i dont know what to do with my life. i'm sure i will end up being a teacher but i dunno if i can even handel doing more school and having a real job now. i can't settle down here with this. i can't keep doing this day after day after day after day...
build-a-bear wasn't SO lame today. usually i can't wait to get out of that shit hole. and maybe it was the adderall and maybe it was the fact that all i did was lead parties all day, but it wasn't so terrible. i don't like any of the new ppl. i mean no one is nearly as fun as all the old ppl that left and graduated but maybe i will give them another chance.
i need to do something drastic physcially. i need to shave my head or atleast dread it, or get another tattoo, or pierce something... something i NEED to do. I'm so bored with myself, with my 'look' hahah not that i have a 'look'. i'm so boring, my clothes my hair my everything. I mean i just dress comfortable and usually have my hair up but it's getting lame. I look around at all the ppl who i would potentially like to meet and i always notice ppl that stand out phsycially. i know changing myself on the outside wont really do anything in terms of me meeting people but maybe it will give me more confidence or something.
my life is so boring. same old routine, same old songs on guitar, same music, same clothes, same people, same things to do, same cycle of classes and work. I know i find some comfort in it but its WAY past that. i reeeaaallly dislike it. i'm jumping out of my skin in this town. im again lost and i dont know what to do with my life. i'm sure i will end up being a teacher but i dunno if i can even handel doing more school and having a real job now. i can't settle down here with this. i can't keep doing this day after day after day after day...