It must be me...
So, I've come to the realization that it must be me. All these problems with people (i.e. none of my "friends" answer or return my calls, nobody can offer any support or encouragement, people keep secrets from me), this must all be because of the type of person that I am. Let me break this down - my "friends" must not want to talk to me, and that's why they don't answer their phones, or return my calls. I don't know why they don't want to talk to me, because not one of them has enough balls to answer their phone and tell me to fuck off. So, I won't call them anymore. Nobody can offer support or encouragement because I don't deserve it. I am unworthy of people's support - I don't know why I'm unworthy, but I'll figure that one out eventually. And, finally, people keep secrets from me either because they think I'll judge them, or because they think I'll spill the beans - both of which I've been guilty of in the past. There are certain people who I've met in my life that I have strong opinions about and who I don't like to talk to - usually because they're overbearing and try to shove their opinion and suggestions down my throat. Maybe I do that? I'm not putting myself out there anymore. I'm done with the one-sided relationships. If it's me, then it's me, and I just have to find someone who can deal with me, but I can't force these existing relationships to work.