(no subject)
I am going to end up killing myself before this is all over. The stress is killing me. I can't deal with it. I honestly don't know how to. Today is fucking April 15th. Mackenzie has been sick for 2 months straight now. Nobody can tell me what's wrong. It is absolutely ruining our lives. Our whole day has to be planned around whether or not Mackenzie will be sick. I can't deal with it. I have to keep her away from Kegan at all times. It's fucking impossible. I'm at my wits end with this. I don't know what to do anymore. I can't deal with it. She won't eat. If she does, she's over the toilet. Why the fuck hasn't she been put in the hospital yet? Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck. Everybody is just like "oh, she has a stomach ache. poor thing". It's slightly more than that, but nobody wants to fucking listen. The child cannot walk to the park, play, and walk back home. We got out the door today and then she started crying and now she's in the bed with the trash can next to her. This is an EVERYDAY occurance now. I'm helpless and I can't stand it. Joe will be home in less than an hour and I am out the door as soon as he is in. Is it fair to Joe? No. However, if I don't get away from this, I will swallow every single pill in this house and then slit my wrists. I cannot handle seeing her in pain and weak and not eating. It's killing me. I would rather die than watch this any longer. I can't stand it.