At least now we're in the same country...
The husband is back in the States. Right now he is a guest of Hartsfield Airport, waiting on his flight to North Carolina. He wasn't too happy when I briefly spoke to him, as he was on hour 19 of his 24 hour journey from Naples to Camp LeJeune and his bag was lost in transit, but I'm glad to be back on the same time zone with him.
Yep, in a couple more days I will have a husband living with us again. And how do I feel? Tired and stressed mostly. I can't really get excited until I know for sure when he'll be coming home. North Carolina is good, New Jersey is better. All I have is a vague 'day or two of checkout' timeline to work with, so I'm just going with the flow until I get the "I'll be on flight number..." phone call.
So hopefully that means that this zombie-like persona I've take on the last few months will disappear shortly. I wasn't a huge social butterfly before this, but I would like to do more than just work, childrearing and sleep. I also hope this means that I return to LiveJournal and that there won't be another weeks long hiatus like I've taken. However, it won't be happening for a couple more weeks as I not only have DH's homecoming, but my younger son is turning 7 in a week, and because of his birthday and the kids spring break next week, we are leaving on a road trip for Florida on Friday. Because why have 1 big life event when you can have 3 in the same week?
Oy.
Some serious rambling behind the cut: Spending time apart is par for the course for us. After dating for two years, we did two years of a long distance relationship while I finished college. Then he was in the Navy, and we did five underways ranging from 8 weeks to 3 months apart in three years, two years of shore duty and then two deployments of five months and six months in three years. Each one of those times he was away I kept a paper diary. It really helped to keep my sanity during the separation. I still go back and read them from time to time, just to see what life was like back then, and see how much I've changed, and how I handled being apart from him. The first three years was pre-kids, and while I was working and had friends, I remember a lot of boring days. The second three years started when my kids were three and seven weeks old. I was busy then, because the kids kept me on my toes, and I had their company, but...it's hard to explain. The point is that I had the time and energy back then to sit down just about every night and write a little bit about what I did each day. This time, I couldn't even manage a weekly entry on Livejournal. I feel like I've missed out on documenting a crucial time in my life. However, back then I did it almost out of necessity, to help keep my husband in the loop. There wasn't a lot of contact with him when he was on the submarine, and since this time was different since we had phone calls and e-mails to keep in touch, I didn't feel it was necessary to write down what happened every day.
But now I'm writing this and I want to go down into the basement to dig up those old diaries just for the reassurance that a lot of what I'm feeling now has happened before. Yes, in theory I am so excited he is coming home, but a part of me is sad to give up the life I've gotten used to. It really will be so much nicer having him home, but I know I'm going to miss being the only one in charge. Right now I run the house, decide what if for dinner and when it will be, and get the couch and TV all to myself after the kids go to bed. But I am also tired of having to do everything myself, to make sure that the kids are washed, dressed, fed, at their activities on time, have done their homework correctly, and are living in a house that isn't a health hazard to them. And while I am in command of the TV, some nights I am too tired to care, and other nights I miss having someone to turn to to rant or rave about something I watched (like seriously, what the hell CSI NY?!?). With him around, we can share car pool duties, and I hope that means that certain activities, like going to my favorite gym classes, will become a reality again.
So while there is that part worrying about losing my current identity, the part that has been through this before knows that once he is back and we are in a comfortable routine again, I will forget all the apparent positive sides of single motherhood. The one thing that keeps nagging at me is the work situation, since I have taken over his job. Again, part of me really doesn't want to give up some of that, but I think I've made enough of a name for myself that I will continue on in some capacity. It's something that I can't really worry about, and I just need to wait and see what the next couple of months bring.
I was talking to DH a couple of weeks ago about the experience in general, and how we got out of it pretty much exactly what we were expecting going into it. He probably could have gotten more out of it work-wise if he wasn't in a temporary situation, as most of his co-workers got to travel to other countries for business purposes, but he still did pretty well. He saw just about all of Italy, and took weekend trips to Prague and Paris. The kids and I got a ten day vacation to Italy, and I got a long weekend in Paris last month. We were also able to put a nice chunk of change into savings, which is pretty amazing considering all the above trips are also completely paid off. We were both able to do some soul searching to find out what we really want, and while the answer is basically, 'pretty much what we have now' it was an answer we both needed to find. I think we are fortunate that we had this opportunity, and it was something we were able to choose to do. Yes, there were bad days, and some really incredibly shitty days, but I'm not going to look back at these past six months in the same light as I do with the previous Navy separations. I'm proud of what I've accomplished the last few months, how I basically went from part time working mom to full time working single mom. Again, some days were handled better than others, and I do remember several days that I was so physically tired and sick of running from place to place, but the fact that I trudged through it and come out victorious makes me feel good. The kids seem no worse for wear, and didn't have to sacrifice too much more beyond losing their dad for six months. I'm not saying I want to do this again any time soon, but I know that if I have to I can.
Well now that all the deep thoughts have been bared, I can completely switch gears and wait for the Rock of Love finale to start.
Yep, in a couple more days I will have a husband living with us again. And how do I feel? Tired and stressed mostly. I can't really get excited until I know for sure when he'll be coming home. North Carolina is good, New Jersey is better. All I have is a vague 'day or two of checkout' timeline to work with, so I'm just going with the flow until I get the "I'll be on flight number..." phone call.
So hopefully that means that this zombie-like persona I've take on the last few months will disappear shortly. I wasn't a huge social butterfly before this, but I would like to do more than just work, childrearing and sleep. I also hope this means that I return to LiveJournal and that there won't be another weeks long hiatus like I've taken. However, it won't be happening for a couple more weeks as I not only have DH's homecoming, but my younger son is turning 7 in a week, and because of his birthday and the kids spring break next week, we are leaving on a road trip for Florida on Friday. Because why have 1 big life event when you can have 3 in the same week?
Oy.
Some serious rambling behind the cut: Spending time apart is par for the course for us. After dating for two years, we did two years of a long distance relationship while I finished college. Then he was in the Navy, and we did five underways ranging from 8 weeks to 3 months apart in three years, two years of shore duty and then two deployments of five months and six months in three years. Each one of those times he was away I kept a paper diary. It really helped to keep my sanity during the separation. I still go back and read them from time to time, just to see what life was like back then, and see how much I've changed, and how I handled being apart from him. The first three years was pre-kids, and while I was working and had friends, I remember a lot of boring days. The second three years started when my kids were three and seven weeks old. I was busy then, because the kids kept me on my toes, and I had their company, but...it's hard to explain. The point is that I had the time and energy back then to sit down just about every night and write a little bit about what I did each day. This time, I couldn't even manage a weekly entry on Livejournal. I feel like I've missed out on documenting a crucial time in my life. However, back then I did it almost out of necessity, to help keep my husband in the loop. There wasn't a lot of contact with him when he was on the submarine, and since this time was different since we had phone calls and e-mails to keep in touch, I didn't feel it was necessary to write down what happened every day.
But now I'm writing this and I want to go down into the basement to dig up those old diaries just for the reassurance that a lot of what I'm feeling now has happened before. Yes, in theory I am so excited he is coming home, but a part of me is sad to give up the life I've gotten used to. It really will be so much nicer having him home, but I know I'm going to miss being the only one in charge. Right now I run the house, decide what if for dinner and when it will be, and get the couch and TV all to myself after the kids go to bed. But I am also tired of having to do everything myself, to make sure that the kids are washed, dressed, fed, at their activities on time, have done their homework correctly, and are living in a house that isn't a health hazard to them. And while I am in command of the TV, some nights I am too tired to care, and other nights I miss having someone to turn to to rant or rave about something I watched (like seriously, what the hell CSI NY?!?). With him around, we can share car pool duties, and I hope that means that certain activities, like going to my favorite gym classes, will become a reality again.
So while there is that part worrying about losing my current identity, the part that has been through this before knows that once he is back and we are in a comfortable routine again, I will forget all the apparent positive sides of single motherhood. The one thing that keeps nagging at me is the work situation, since I have taken over his job. Again, part of me really doesn't want to give up some of that, but I think I've made enough of a name for myself that I will continue on in some capacity. It's something that I can't really worry about, and I just need to wait and see what the next couple of months bring.
I was talking to DH a couple of weeks ago about the experience in general, and how we got out of it pretty much exactly what we were expecting going into it. He probably could have gotten more out of it work-wise if he wasn't in a temporary situation, as most of his co-workers got to travel to other countries for business purposes, but he still did pretty well. He saw just about all of Italy, and took weekend trips to Prague and Paris. The kids and I got a ten day vacation to Italy, and I got a long weekend in Paris last month. We were also able to put a nice chunk of change into savings, which is pretty amazing considering all the above trips are also completely paid off. We were both able to do some soul searching to find out what we really want, and while the answer is basically, 'pretty much what we have now' it was an answer we both needed to find. I think we are fortunate that we had this opportunity, and it was something we were able to choose to do. Yes, there were bad days, and some really incredibly shitty days, but I'm not going to look back at these past six months in the same light as I do with the previous Navy separations. I'm proud of what I've accomplished the last few months, how I basically went from part time working mom to full time working single mom. Again, some days were handled better than others, and I do remember several days that I was so physically tired and sick of running from place to place, but the fact that I trudged through it and come out victorious makes me feel good. The kids seem no worse for wear, and didn't have to sacrifice too much more beyond losing their dad for six months. I'm not saying I want to do this again any time soon, but I know that if I have to I can.
Well now that all the deep thoughts have been bared, I can completely switch gears and wait for the Rock of Love finale to start.