Hawaii Five-O Fic: Of Malasadas & Penguins | Steve & Danny | PG
Title: Of Malasadas & Penguins
Rating: PG
Characters: Steve & Danny
Warnings: crack, kinda sorta pre-slash (only if you squint reeeeeeeeally hard)
Word Count: 500
Summary: Danny won't give Steve his donuts; Steve takes the situation into his own hands. Written as a challenge fill for hawaii50_land, in which we had to use the word "hostage".
“Put down the donuts.”
“What?”
“Danny… put down the malasadas. Now.”
The Jersey cop waved the bag of sugary sweet goodness in front of Steve’s face. “Oh, you mean these malasadas?”
Steve growled threateningly; Danny almost gave in. Almost. “Yes.”
“And what if I don’t?” He knew he was venturing into dangerous territory, but he loved teasing his partner.
The Navy SEAL looked around the room for something to use as a non-lethal weapon. He smirked. Danny didn’t like that smirk, the predatory one. He watched as Steve’s mammoth hand curled around the neck of his favorite stuffed penguin, the one he’d had since he was five-years-old. The barrel of Steve’s gun was pressed into the penguin’s head.
“Okay, Danny, put down the donuts and Karl won’t get hurt.”
“Are you psycho?! You know what, don’t answer that. You are psycho. Why are you holding my penguin hostage? For donuts?”
“I want my malasadas, Danny.”
“You’re insane. Completely and utterly insane.”
“Are we in agreement?” He cocked his gun just to be sure.
“Yes, yes! We’re in agreement! Christ…” He dropped the bag on the bed, watched as Steve threw Karl at Danny and dove to the bed, thrusting his hand into the bag and emerging with a sugary donut. He took a bite of the wonderful treat and moaned, his eyes fluttering shut.
Danny could do nothing but stare at his partner. “They’re not that good.”
“When you haven’t had them in two years, yes they are.”
“There’s a simple solution for that: eat them more often. The stand is minutes from your house.”
“And lose this body?” He shoved the rest of it into his mouth, his next words coming out a muffled mess. “Not on your life.”
Danny sighed. When Steve’s hand flew towards the bag again, he reached out and grabbed it by the bottom; Steve emitted a noise that sounded like a feral wolf protecting its young. Danny was rightly terrified.
“Steven, you need to stop.”
“But they’re so good…” He didn’t even bother taking a bite, just stuffed the whole thing into his mouth.
“This is why you don’t get to eat sugar.” He turned to his penguin, which was still cradled safely in his arms. “This is what I have to put up with, Karl.”
“Are you talking to your stuffed penguin?” Steve was trying to reach for the bag again, unsuccessfully.
“Yes. There something wrong with that?”
“No, no.” Steve cracked a smile. “Now give me my malasadas.”
“No. You don’t need any more. You’re only gonna get crazier than you already are.”
Steve glared at him as if he was taking away his ability to live. “Says the grown man talking to a fishbird.”
“Penguin. He’s a penguin, Steven. And he happens to have a name.”
“My point exactly.”
Danny scowled and threw the bag at him. “Here, finish your damn donuts and leave me alone.” He left the room, yelling back, “Don’t come to me when your stomach hurts later!”
Rating: PG
Characters: Steve & Danny
Warnings: crack, kinda sorta pre-slash (only if you squint reeeeeeeeally hard)
Word Count: 500
Summary: Danny won't give Steve his donuts; Steve takes the situation into his own hands. Written as a challenge fill for hawaii50_land, in which we had to use the word "hostage".
“Put down the donuts.”
“What?”
“Danny… put down the malasadas. Now.”
The Jersey cop waved the bag of sugary sweet goodness in front of Steve’s face. “Oh, you mean these malasadas?”
Steve growled threateningly; Danny almost gave in. Almost. “Yes.”
“And what if I don’t?” He knew he was venturing into dangerous territory, but he loved teasing his partner.
The Navy SEAL looked around the room for something to use as a non-lethal weapon. He smirked. Danny didn’t like that smirk, the predatory one. He watched as Steve’s mammoth hand curled around the neck of his favorite stuffed penguin, the one he’d had since he was five-years-old. The barrel of Steve’s gun was pressed into the penguin’s head.
“Okay, Danny, put down the donuts and Karl won’t get hurt.”
“Are you psycho?! You know what, don’t answer that. You are psycho. Why are you holding my penguin hostage? For donuts?”
“I want my malasadas, Danny.”
“You’re insane. Completely and utterly insane.”
“Are we in agreement?” He cocked his gun just to be sure.
“Yes, yes! We’re in agreement! Christ…” He dropped the bag on the bed, watched as Steve threw Karl at Danny and dove to the bed, thrusting his hand into the bag and emerging with a sugary donut. He took a bite of the wonderful treat and moaned, his eyes fluttering shut.
Danny could do nothing but stare at his partner. “They’re not that good.”
“When you haven’t had them in two years, yes they are.”
“There’s a simple solution for that: eat them more often. The stand is minutes from your house.”
“And lose this body?” He shoved the rest of it into his mouth, his next words coming out a muffled mess. “Not on your life.”
Danny sighed. When Steve’s hand flew towards the bag again, he reached out and grabbed it by the bottom; Steve emitted a noise that sounded like a feral wolf protecting its young. Danny was rightly terrified.
“Steven, you need to stop.”
“But they’re so good…” He didn’t even bother taking a bite, just stuffed the whole thing into his mouth.
“This is why you don’t get to eat sugar.” He turned to his penguin, which was still cradled safely in his arms. “This is what I have to put up with, Karl.”
“Are you talking to your stuffed penguin?” Steve was trying to reach for the bag again, unsuccessfully.
“Yes. There something wrong with that?”
“No, no.” Steve cracked a smile. “Now give me my malasadas.”
“No. You don’t need any more. You’re only gonna get crazier than you already are.”
Steve glared at him as if he was taking away his ability to live. “Says the grown man talking to a fishbird.”
“Penguin. He’s a penguin, Steven. And he happens to have a name.”
“My point exactly.”
Danny scowled and threw the bag at him. “Here, finish your damn donuts and leave me alone.” He left the room, yelling back, “Don’t come to me when your stomach hurts later!”