(no subject)
Nice.
A few moments to myself, away from the hectic television noises of homes, away from the beeping of grocery store scanning machines, from the clinks of change, to the quiet of my brain (which is actually surrounded by a whole bunch of clicking within the UNM computer lab, ha, ha ha.)
As soldiers are killed in Iran, and Imus is getting suspended from news stations for talking smack about black people, as more animals are getting liver failure due to the contaminated dog food that was shipped out to homes all across america, i find it hard to feel empathy for a culture that will eventually fall apart anyway.
I wonder when I will become a citizen who is worthwhile. Looking at the statistics, we take so much. And with us deciding to change to ethanol fuels, it looks like we are going to be keeping more people in poverty, starvation, on other sides of the globe, and it makes it truly hard at times to say that I am proud to be an American. I guess all I can do is try to be a good individual myself, which is sometimes hard, especially in times of attempting to protect one's peace.
In the Tao Te Ching, by Lao Tzu he says that something like, "the only good war, is the one that is prevented." I find this hard to take in. But then I realize he is right, that at times, it is much better to try to find peace yourself than to go out there conquering it.
I don't know. That's about all I know these days anyway, that I don't know anything.
I'm reading this book right now. It's pretty awesome, and it makes that whole "I don't know" feeling subside for a couple of minutes. I've been reading it every night. It's filled with pictures! Yay! One of those (ha-ha-ha!) post-post-post modern books. I like reading about others pain, it makes the daily grind feel less lonely.
Recently, I finished HP Lovecraft's "In the Mouth of Madness". Many have heralded Lovecraft as the greatest horror writer of all time. He inspired many from not only the world known Stephen King, but also the Iowa Graduate creative writing workshop graduate, Joyce Carol Oates. I figured it was crucial I read it. It's important that I read everything. (which, haha, will never happen)
Five minutes to class and my fingertips are still clicking away on the keyboard. I don't know why livejournaling these thoughts are so therapeutic, but they are. Having outlets for this aggression is great.
Yesterday, this small guy in a wheelchair came into the grocery store yesterday. I think he was a midget or something. Anyway, I was overcome by his optimism. He smiled the whole time through the grocery store, and it kind of made me think, how strong he must be. To get up, and live his life, and be so optimistic about everything. I compared it to my life. I wanted to be him for a moment, tucked into my little wheelchair with my tiny legs dangling over, just because he was happy, and had found the key to happiness unlike so many others. I guess what it comes down to in the end, is that happiness is just being able to acknowledge what a wonderful gift life is, no matter how crappy it may seem.
A few moments to myself, away from the hectic television noises of homes, away from the beeping of grocery store scanning machines, from the clinks of change, to the quiet of my brain (which is actually surrounded by a whole bunch of clicking within the UNM computer lab, ha, ha ha.)
As soldiers are killed in Iran, and Imus is getting suspended from news stations for talking smack about black people, as more animals are getting liver failure due to the contaminated dog food that was shipped out to homes all across america, i find it hard to feel empathy for a culture that will eventually fall apart anyway.
I wonder when I will become a citizen who is worthwhile. Looking at the statistics, we take so much. And with us deciding to change to ethanol fuels, it looks like we are going to be keeping more people in poverty, starvation, on other sides of the globe, and it makes it truly hard at times to say that I am proud to be an American. I guess all I can do is try to be a good individual myself, which is sometimes hard, especially in times of attempting to protect one's peace.
In the Tao Te Ching, by Lao Tzu he says that something like, "the only good war, is the one that is prevented." I find this hard to take in. But then I realize he is right, that at times, it is much better to try to find peace yourself than to go out there conquering it.
I don't know. That's about all I know these days anyway, that I don't know anything.
I'm reading this book right now. It's pretty awesome, and it makes that whole "I don't know" feeling subside for a couple of minutes. I've been reading it every night. It's filled with pictures! Yay! One of those (ha-ha-ha!) post-post-post modern books. I like reading about others pain, it makes the daily grind feel less lonely.
Recently, I finished HP Lovecraft's "In the Mouth of Madness". Many have heralded Lovecraft as the greatest horror writer of all time. He inspired many from not only the world known Stephen King, but also the Iowa Graduate creative writing workshop graduate, Joyce Carol Oates. I figured it was crucial I read it. It's important that I read everything. (which, haha, will never happen)
Five minutes to class and my fingertips are still clicking away on the keyboard. I don't know why livejournaling these thoughts are so therapeutic, but they are. Having outlets for this aggression is great.
Yesterday, this small guy in a wheelchair came into the grocery store yesterday. I think he was a midget or something. Anyway, I was overcome by his optimism. He smiled the whole time through the grocery store, and it kind of made me think, how strong he must be. To get up, and live his life, and be so optimistic about everything. I compared it to my life. I wanted to be him for a moment, tucked into my little wheelchair with my tiny legs dangling over, just because he was happy, and had found the key to happiness unlike so many others. I guess what it comes down to in the end, is that happiness is just being able to acknowledge what a wonderful gift life is, no matter how crappy it may seem.