not work is lopping off hair is finding my destiny in the world...
alot of things have been happening at work, but i dont really want to talk about work...
ive been shuffled around a bit lately cos of the shitty economy and safety codes in nyc being changed due to all the industry deaths this year. in turn, construction in nyc is slow... but not really for me cos i work for a company that sees soemthing in me and thinks its best to keep the apprentices working and practicing their strokes--they have a rep for training some of the best wimin in the carpenters union and are proud of it when theyre not feeling sexist.
i'm feeling a little resentful of work lately, but not cos of those reasons. i'm being taken care of and if i get laid off i'm on the first flight outta here, via all the dough ive put away for a rainy day--it rains all the time here--and i'm trying to get smarter about the things i need in life to gain perspective. i'm just feeling tired all the time these days, but know things are good and i'm grateful for all the incredible things i have in my life. people, hobbies, the most amazing cat in the world, four new shirts that are going to be incredible for next season, 1 or 3 pairs of black wallabees in my size left in the world custom ordered and a memory that often does me well despite all the abuse i send its way. its scary sometimes and usually keeps me up at nite but more often just really comes in handy.
i'm not working in death town (aka the morgue at st lukes hospital) anymore and have moved to the hip and trendy east village where i'm working at beth isreal hospital. when i stopped this really over the top punk fag for a cigarette he asked me where i got my hair done. i guess we were both cruising each others hair from across the street, his name was star and he's stylist over by st marks at some place called torpedo or tupelo or tuxedo or something.
oh, to have a fake punk name and socialize and cut hair all day :::sigh:::
ive been watching that bravo show shear genius and its been making me think: what an alluring hustle to me these days! but wouldnt the fashion industry swallow me alive and make me never want to eat again? still the idea of sculpting in 3 dimensions with movable wearable art on someones head gives me a super boner. the huge knowledge base, the variety of tools and techniques at my fingertips, the challenge of working with a variety of textures and colors, getting to prance around like a peacock and look fabulous and gossip all day long :::sigh::: maybe when i'm done with carpenters school i can go to beauty school? theres giant pros and cons to both actually and of course in my life and in my seven nature (numerology talk) theres always contradictory things in my mind tickling me and tempting me. making me question whether or not my choices are right for me. destiny and wanderlust. new and old. soft and hard. filthy and pristine. whats safe/stable and what makes my heart skip beats. i hear cancers feel this way a lot too. we share a deep vested interest in the world around us, i guess. but at the same time why am i also trying to constantly take the things i love to do that enrich my life outside of work and try to make those my work? doesnt doing things as work kill the love for most things? i feel like this type of attitude makes me ideal for living off the grid on wimins land actually...
becoming a gay muscle man...
ive been thinking about protien alot. you know the basic building block of muscle in yr body. that energy source that is the only real recovery from saving yrself from being on the throws of losing yr shit after a day of running around nyc and forgetting to eat until its waaay too late. everyone i know in nyc does it for some reason? i meet up with friends and theyre always like gonna pass out until they get something to eat and usually i feel the same way. cutting to the chase i'm on another one of my kicks where i stop getting high (kinda) and this time the difference is that ive started to compulsively work out. ive tried this once before and it kind of worked, for the most part but i guess in a way its really just about finding other possitive things to fill my life with. i started doing workout videos from youtube. my favorite is one with dolph lungren. he dated grace jones and is a swedish, muscley, blonde guy that is so homo errotic he doesnt even have to try. listen its probably better if i just show you.
ive been shuffled around a bit lately cos of the shitty economy and safety codes in nyc being changed due to all the industry deaths this year. in turn, construction in nyc is slow... but not really for me cos i work for a company that sees soemthing in me and thinks its best to keep the apprentices working and practicing their strokes--they have a rep for training some of the best wimin in the carpenters union and are proud of it when theyre not feeling sexist.
i'm feeling a little resentful of work lately, but not cos of those reasons. i'm being taken care of and if i get laid off i'm on the first flight outta here, via all the dough ive put away for a rainy day--it rains all the time here--and i'm trying to get smarter about the things i need in life to gain perspective. i'm just feeling tired all the time these days, but know things are good and i'm grateful for all the incredible things i have in my life. people, hobbies, the most amazing cat in the world, four new shirts that are going to be incredible for next season, 1 or 3 pairs of black wallabees in my size left in the world custom ordered and a memory that often does me well despite all the abuse i send its way. its scary sometimes and usually keeps me up at nite but more often just really comes in handy.
i'm not working in death town (aka the morgue at st lukes hospital) anymore and have moved to the hip and trendy east village where i'm working at beth isreal hospital. when i stopped this really over the top punk fag for a cigarette he asked me where i got my hair done. i guess we were both cruising each others hair from across the street, his name was star and he's stylist over by st marks at some place called torpedo or tupelo or tuxedo or something.
oh, to have a fake punk name and socialize and cut hair all day :::sigh:::
ive been watching that bravo show shear genius and its been making me think: what an alluring hustle to me these days! but wouldnt the fashion industry swallow me alive and make me never want to eat again? still the idea of sculpting in 3 dimensions with movable wearable art on someones head gives me a super boner. the huge knowledge base, the variety of tools and techniques at my fingertips, the challenge of working with a variety of textures and colors, getting to prance around like a peacock and look fabulous and gossip all day long :::sigh::: maybe when i'm done with carpenters school i can go to beauty school? theres giant pros and cons to both actually and of course in my life and in my seven nature (numerology talk) theres always contradictory things in my mind tickling me and tempting me. making me question whether or not my choices are right for me. destiny and wanderlust. new and old. soft and hard. filthy and pristine. whats safe/stable and what makes my heart skip beats. i hear cancers feel this way a lot too. we share a deep vested interest in the world around us, i guess. but at the same time why am i also trying to constantly take the things i love to do that enrich my life outside of work and try to make those my work? doesnt doing things as work kill the love for most things? i feel like this type of attitude makes me ideal for living off the grid on wimins land actually...
becoming a gay muscle man...
ive been thinking about protien alot. you know the basic building block of muscle in yr body. that energy source that is the only real recovery from saving yrself from being on the throws of losing yr shit after a day of running around nyc and forgetting to eat until its waaay too late. everyone i know in nyc does it for some reason? i meet up with friends and theyre always like gonna pass out until they get something to eat and usually i feel the same way. cutting to the chase i'm on another one of my kicks where i stop getting high (kinda) and this time the difference is that ive started to compulsively work out. ive tried this once before and it kind of worked, for the most part but i guess in a way its really just about finding other possitive things to fill my life with. i started doing workout videos from youtube. my favorite is one with dolph lungren. he dated grace jones and is a swedish, muscley, blonde guy that is so homo errotic he doesnt even have to try. listen its probably better if i just show you.
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