this is how it feels to be free...
The Fool (im so into it)...
affirms that my alter ego today is a Quantam Leaper with a hero's heart. My superpower is liberated by free will and trust, which lead me to explore simple speculations for their own sake. I can move beyond the fear factor. I don't know where I'm going, and I don't care where I've been. I only know that, as the hero of my own story, it's for me to find out. For, like Alice, I'm on the verge of stepping into a rabbit hole; unless I stop short and play it safe, I'll know soon enough where following my own feet has landed me on this curious venture. The blissful frailty of unwritten conclusions and unguarded access sweetens the desire. So despite familiar warnings, irresistible promise draws my eyes wide open and away from domestic comfort zones, with only certain inquiry, hope and faith to recommend my course. I'll never know until I try.
my job ended today...
as i have been told it was going to for the past few weeks. i know it should be scary and feel choatic and unmanagable but i'm saving that for later. right now i am still soo fuckin sprung on the idea of not having to fucking wake up at 5am to go to work tomorrow, YES! even tho the job was totally cushy and i know i was living the good life still its so nice to be able to take a break from being the dad for a second and go back to being the spoiled brat fucking youngest born baby boy, YES! time to let the chaluses on my fingeres heal, sleep soundly until the afternoon, read, write and be self indulgent in my fancy clean clothes punk rock all black uniform. :::sigh::: its totally the little things in life. my shop stewart al (pieces) aka big al, shoppie, pork chop, jefe, bought me lunch today. from the hot cart of death as i lovingly refer to them. i got a falafel he got a gyro. we both got lemon snapples and no hot sauce. gawd, having working relationships with all these fucking stranger men is so fucking weird. in my normal life i would totally never talk to these straight, ridiculous, incapable of listening dudes ever and they would probably think i was some obnoxious kid. but that just goes to show if you open up yr heart to people that are different from you, give them a chance to talk and listen, sometimes you get free lunch. and sometimes you get somebody whos awesome to make out with and you totally fall in love with their soul and become best friends no matter where you are and always think about each other for the rest of yr lives and get a comforting warm feeling when yr staring into space evaluating yr life knowing that somewhere that person is around and they totally love you and make you laugh--like, you get each other. ive had a few of those, even without the making out, totally special.
THE LESSON: try to be less judgmental and try be more candid. trust me it it works.
GOOD WORD: can·did
Pronunciation: 'kan-d&d
Function: adjective
Etymology: French & Latin; French candide, from Latin candidus bright, white, from candEre to shine, glow; akin to Welsh can white, Sanskrit candati it shines
1 : WHITE
2 : free from bias, prejudice, or malice : FAIR
3 a : marked by honest sincere expression b : indicating or suggesting sincere honesty and absence of deception c : disposed to criticize severely : BLUNT
4 : relating to or being photography of subjects acting naturally or spontaneously without being posed
synonym see FRANK
- can·did·ly adverb
- can·did·ness noun
affirms that my alter ego today is a Quantam Leaper with a hero's heart. My superpower is liberated by free will and trust, which lead me to explore simple speculations for their own sake. I can move beyond the fear factor. I don't know where I'm going, and I don't care where I've been. I only know that, as the hero of my own story, it's for me to find out. For, like Alice, I'm on the verge of stepping into a rabbit hole; unless I stop short and play it safe, I'll know soon enough where following my own feet has landed me on this curious venture. The blissful frailty of unwritten conclusions and unguarded access sweetens the desire. So despite familiar warnings, irresistible promise draws my eyes wide open and away from domestic comfort zones, with only certain inquiry, hope and faith to recommend my course. I'll never know until I try.
my job ended today...
as i have been told it was going to for the past few weeks. i know it should be scary and feel choatic and unmanagable but i'm saving that for later. right now i am still soo fuckin sprung on the idea of not having to fucking wake up at 5am to go to work tomorrow, YES! even tho the job was totally cushy and i know i was living the good life still its so nice to be able to take a break from being the dad for a second and go back to being the spoiled brat fucking youngest born baby boy, YES! time to let the chaluses on my fingeres heal, sleep soundly until the afternoon, read, write and be self indulgent in my fancy clean clothes punk rock all black uniform. :::sigh::: its totally the little things in life. my shop stewart al (pieces) aka big al, shoppie, pork chop, jefe, bought me lunch today. from the hot cart of death as i lovingly refer to them. i got a falafel he got a gyro. we both got lemon snapples and no hot sauce. gawd, having working relationships with all these fucking stranger men is so fucking weird. in my normal life i would totally never talk to these straight, ridiculous, incapable of listening dudes ever and they would probably think i was some obnoxious kid. but that just goes to show if you open up yr heart to people that are different from you, give them a chance to talk and listen, sometimes you get free lunch. and sometimes you get somebody whos awesome to make out with and you totally fall in love with their soul and become best friends no matter where you are and always think about each other for the rest of yr lives and get a comforting warm feeling when yr staring into space evaluating yr life knowing that somewhere that person is around and they totally love you and make you laugh--like, you get each other. ive had a few of those, even without the making out, totally special.
THE LESSON: try to be less judgmental and try be more candid. trust me it it works.
GOOD WORD: can·did
Pronunciation: 'kan-d&d
Function: adjective
Etymology: French & Latin; French candide, from Latin candidus bright, white, from candEre to shine, glow; akin to Welsh can white, Sanskrit candati it shines
1 : WHITE
2 : free from bias, prejudice, or malice : FAIR
3 a : marked by honest sincere expression b : indicating or suggesting sincere honesty and absence of deception c : disposed to criticize severely : BLUNT
4 : relating to or being photography of subjects acting naturally or spontaneously without being posed
synonym see FRANK
- can·did·ly adverb
- can·did·ness noun