It's okay Amy, you will make your way there. I really understand how you feel right now. Moving to NY was easy for me, because the family was there. and when the family left, it still wasn't that bad because Greg and Marc became my family.
and even then NY was such a quick plane trip home. it's when I moved to LA that my life got really hard. but, as much as I have gone through bad, I have also grown so much as a person. and of course, I met Alex, which in my mind seems to make up for all the bad of LA and almost be one of the main reasons I feel that I was meant to come out west.
I feel proud of myself. here I sit in my little apartment, ordering groceries online, sitting on my nice couch with my dog and my husband making me food for dinner.
when I came out here I had nothing. I had two suitcases, no job, some friends that let me crash on their couch. it was fucking scary. but, two and a half years later, here I am -- running around at the very front of a huge theatre in LA directing photographers out of a sold out Beastie Boys show.
life's pretty amazing like that sometimes, you know?
and it will be the same for you. one thing I've learned as well, is that God always does make a way. and really, if you absolutely HATED Montana -- you could leave. there is no one stopping you. and you know, you could always come to Sweden and go to graduate school for free if you wanted, hah! there are some good all English graduate design programs (just sayin' as a backup).
AND, LA is so not far away from Montana. YOU ARE closer TO ME now! Vegas is a pretty cheap flight from Montana and an even CHEAPER flight to LA! just tell big sissy Erica if you feel like you're slipping and I'll pay for your plane ticket in a heartbeat. I totally know the fear of being alone.
I read something really cool the other day. Don't ask me what I was googling, but I came across this religious professor from harvard that said something along the lines of, "once we get over seeing being alone as lonely and accept being alone as aloneness -- we find a great comfort in that alone time. that spiritual time to really listen to our insides."
and for some reason that brought me a ton of comfort and I have been thinking a lot about it lately.
ANYWAY! we love you here and you are always welcome in our home. our place is much, much nicer now -- and things are much, much better and less intense. I apologize for the intensity of the last visit.
It's okay Amy, you will make your way there. I really understand how you feel right now. Moving to NY was easy for me, because the family was there. and when the family left, it still wasn't that bad because Greg and Marc became my family.
and even then NY was such a quick plane trip home. it's when I moved to LA that my life got really hard. but, as much as I have gone through bad, I have also grown so much as a person. and of course, I met Alex, which in my mind seems to make up for all the bad of LA and almost be one of the main reasons I feel that I was meant to come out west.
I feel proud of myself. here I sit in my little apartment, ordering groceries online, sitting on my nice couch with my dog and my husband making me food for dinner.
when I came out here I had nothing. I had two suitcases, no job, some friends that let me crash on their couch. it was fucking scary. but, two and a half years later, here I am -- running around at the very front of a huge theatre in LA directing photographers out of a sold out Beastie Boys show.
life's pretty amazing like that sometimes, you know?
and it will be the same for you. one thing I've learned as well, is that God always does make a way. and really, if you absolutely HATED Montana -- you could leave. there is no one stopping you. and you know, you could always come to Sweden and go to graduate school for free if you wanted, hah! there are some good all English graduate design programs (just sayin' as a backup).
AND, LA is so not far away from Montana. YOU ARE closer TO ME now! Vegas is a pretty cheap flight from Montana and an even CHEAPER flight to LA! just tell big sissy Erica if you feel like you're slipping and I'll pay for your plane ticket in a heartbeat. I totally know the fear of being alone.
I read something really cool the other day. Don't ask me what I was googling, but I came across this religious professor from harvard that said something along the lines of, "once we get over seeing being alone as lonely and accept being alone as aloneness -- we find a great comfort in that alone time. that spiritual time to really listen to our insides."
and for some reason that brought me a ton of comfort and I have been thinking a lot about it lately.
ANYWAY! we love you here and you are always welcome in our home. our place is much, much nicer now -- and things are much, much better and less intense. I apologize for the intensity of the last visit.
ANYWAY I LOVE YOU! BE BRAVE AND STRONG! XOXOOXOX
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