waaa. New post.
Whee. This one's more of a for me post than anything. For some reason, it always helps me to write things down and just think them out, but i've never liked the paper medium. I suppose I could do this with vi or something, but I like having access to what I write wherever I am, and I usually have a way to get online, somehow.
Life. At this point I can probably divide it into a few categories.
1. Finance:
Debt is a big problem in my life, in order to progress, I will likely need to eliminate my debt.
I would estimate my debt currently at $20,000.
Breakdown:
A. Credit Cards ($2000)
B. Student Loans ($13000)
C. Line of Credit ($5000)
The best, and only strategy I can think of is to attack the credit card debt first. Then approach the line of credit for a few years. And finally focus solely on clearing off my Student Loans. Trying to consider this all at once is a very very daunting task for me, so I think it may be better if I try and focus on staying in the mindset of tackling each small piece as I can. If I can get my existing debt down to Student Loans alone, then I think I can deal with small and regular payments of this overall. If anyone else has any different suggestions, please feel free to make them. Keeping in mind that my means of living renders me with about $300/bi-weekly. That's not always true, but it's the average estimate.
2. Life Choices.
This section is much much smaller, and relates to large life choices that will weigh heavily on me until they are addressed and successfully dealt with. The biggest and probably only life choice that will be of a problem for me, is surgery. I want to have surgery, but this is a very expensive procedure also fraught with red tape of policy and lots of time with doctors, scientists and psychiatrists. As much as I love science, and by proxy scientists, most are not prepared to deal with humans. That is, because I think many doctors need to be able to dehumanize their subjects in order to deal with them. This would probably be ok, and maybe even work, if I could bring myself to believe that scientists are not affected by their own thoughts and beliefs. I may be wrong on that point, but I feel that Doctors, Psychiatrists, and Scientists all have some sort of bias in their jobs and life in how they deal with and treat people.
3. Overall life goals
A. To move back to Toronto, and obtain a decent position, work hard, and basically settle myself back into life there.
B. To attain a good, healthy relationship.
C. Given how people regard me, my personality, etc. my own wishes and wants, even my nature and attitude, which varies at times, I think it could be important and possibly healthy for me, to learn how to become a good Domme,Top, or whatever you want to call it. I don't necessarily mind the role or such, I just don't feel it's entirely my thing. But there are definitely times where I do feel more demanding, and more of a powerful presence. In short,I think I would consider myself a switch at this point. It's probably healthy and beneficial for me to try and get good at both roles, as opposed to trying to focus on and understand only one.
D. To find some way to start saving money for old age and retirement. I doubt I will ever retire, or if I do, i'll be like, 60+. Im 25 now, so if i start thinking about those things now, even if I don't have a kick butt retirement plan, I hope to at least have a healthy one.
E. To ensure I have 2 vacations a year, minimum. Each lasting 1 week. This is to reduce and minimize the stress in my life, to enhance my job performance, by stepping away and relaxing. Not many people do do this, because it can be seen as a dangerous career move. However, I believe that it can be necessary in order to living a healthy lifestyle. I believe some companies, or perhaps most companies allot 2 one week long vacations per year. One paid, the other either paid or unpaid, depending on the company.
I think that's about it for the moment regarding that topic. There's a lot I need to talk about, think about and consider in the near future, this has the potential of being a very positive portion of my life. So I will try and keep a positive outlook on things, while not obsessing over events, given that obsession is unhealthy, obviously, and can lead to long term unhappiness and regret. Perhaps the best strategy for this will be to try and embody the phrases "Live life one day at a time" "Live life to the fullest" and "don't have any regrets". Whether or not I achieve all this remains to be seen. However I will try my best to ensure that I continue to lead a full, and happy life.
ooh, and tomorrow I think Im getting an Epson Perfection V200 Photo Flatbed scanner, a 2-4GB USB stick. That'll prolly be my monthly splurging on goodies. I know I just got back from a convention and all, but I did in fact save up for about 2-3 months with absolutely nothing, no going out on my days off, no ordering out when at home, no buying goodies. I worked hard in order to save up enough to both go and enjoy that con, so Im not going to let myself try and beat myself up over "I'd have a bunch more money if I didn't go". I had a wonderful time at that con, enjoyed meeting some new people, and I really enjoyed being able to spend that much time with Sarah, since I haven't gotten to see her much in a long long time. I don't really count last time I visited Toronto, since she was really busy last time I visited. Which is OK, It's just a fact that I didn't get to spend as much time with her, or Awex as I'd have liked.
Ooooh. And final notice to myself: Get to work on that webpage you want to get running. And whip some artist or someone half assed with photoshop or gimp-fu, to help create the background/layout, since Im more inept at art than a zombie is at living.
Life. At this point I can probably divide it into a few categories.
1. Finance:
Debt is a big problem in my life, in order to progress, I will likely need to eliminate my debt.
I would estimate my debt currently at $20,000.
Breakdown:
A. Credit Cards ($2000)
B. Student Loans ($13000)
C. Line of Credit ($5000)
The best, and only strategy I can think of is to attack the credit card debt first. Then approach the line of credit for a few years. And finally focus solely on clearing off my Student Loans. Trying to consider this all at once is a very very daunting task for me, so I think it may be better if I try and focus on staying in the mindset of tackling each small piece as I can. If I can get my existing debt down to Student Loans alone, then I think I can deal with small and regular payments of this overall. If anyone else has any different suggestions, please feel free to make them. Keeping in mind that my means of living renders me with about $300/bi-weekly. That's not always true, but it's the average estimate.
2. Life Choices.
This section is much much smaller, and relates to large life choices that will weigh heavily on me until they are addressed and successfully dealt with. The biggest and probably only life choice that will be of a problem for me, is surgery. I want to have surgery, but this is a very expensive procedure also fraught with red tape of policy and lots of time with doctors, scientists and psychiatrists. As much as I love science, and by proxy scientists, most are not prepared to deal with humans. That is, because I think many doctors need to be able to dehumanize their subjects in order to deal with them. This would probably be ok, and maybe even work, if I could bring myself to believe that scientists are not affected by their own thoughts and beliefs. I may be wrong on that point, but I feel that Doctors, Psychiatrists, and Scientists all have some sort of bias in their jobs and life in how they deal with and treat people.
3. Overall life goals
A. To move back to Toronto, and obtain a decent position, work hard, and basically settle myself back into life there.
B. To attain a good, healthy relationship.
C. Given how people regard me, my personality, etc. my own wishes and wants, even my nature and attitude, which varies at times, I think it could be important and possibly healthy for me, to learn how to become a good Domme,Top, or whatever you want to call it. I don't necessarily mind the role or such, I just don't feel it's entirely my thing. But there are definitely times where I do feel more demanding, and more of a powerful presence. In short,I think I would consider myself a switch at this point. It's probably healthy and beneficial for me to try and get good at both roles, as opposed to trying to focus on and understand only one.
D. To find some way to start saving money for old age and retirement. I doubt I will ever retire, or if I do, i'll be like, 60+. Im 25 now, so if i start thinking about those things now, even if I don't have a kick butt retirement plan, I hope to at least have a healthy one.
E. To ensure I have 2 vacations a year, minimum. Each lasting 1 week. This is to reduce and minimize the stress in my life, to enhance my job performance, by stepping away and relaxing. Not many people do do this, because it can be seen as a dangerous career move. However, I believe that it can be necessary in order to living a healthy lifestyle. I believe some companies, or perhaps most companies allot 2 one week long vacations per year. One paid, the other either paid or unpaid, depending on the company.
I think that's about it for the moment regarding that topic. There's a lot I need to talk about, think about and consider in the near future, this has the potential of being a very positive portion of my life. So I will try and keep a positive outlook on things, while not obsessing over events, given that obsession is unhealthy, obviously, and can lead to long term unhappiness and regret. Perhaps the best strategy for this will be to try and embody the phrases "Live life one day at a time" "Live life to the fullest" and "don't have any regrets". Whether or not I achieve all this remains to be seen. However I will try my best to ensure that I continue to lead a full, and happy life.
ooh, and tomorrow I think Im getting an Epson Perfection V200 Photo Flatbed scanner, a 2-4GB USB stick. That'll prolly be my monthly splurging on goodies. I know I just got back from a convention and all, but I did in fact save up for about 2-3 months with absolutely nothing, no going out on my days off, no ordering out when at home, no buying goodies. I worked hard in order to save up enough to both go and enjoy that con, so Im not going to let myself try and beat myself up over "I'd have a bunch more money if I didn't go". I had a wonderful time at that con, enjoyed meeting some new people, and I really enjoyed being able to spend that much time with Sarah, since I haven't gotten to see her much in a long long time. I don't really count last time I visited Toronto, since she was really busy last time I visited. Which is OK, It's just a fact that I didn't get to spend as much time with her, or Awex as I'd have liked.
Ooooh. And final notice to myself: Get to work on that webpage you want to get running. And whip some artist or someone half assed with photoshop or gimp-fu, to help create the background/layout, since Im more inept at art than a zombie is at living.