Coping...
This weekend has been weird...really want it to be over. I cant explain why- everything just has a weird vibe to it. Too many random incidents. Dont know why its so strange...maybe because the girls are gone, so the dorm feels like a ghost town...maybe because Stuart packed up his room today, and the bare walls struck me with the reality of how soon the end is...but somehow i feel ok...
The sun is setting and that depresses me...dont know why. I never liked the darkness...the sunshine makes me happy. I remember in fall quarter when i would feel so depressed first thing in the morning, but i'd step outside to go to an early class, and suddenly i was breathing easier. Too many weird things happen after sunset...too many lonely moments...some good times to be sure, but still i think i perfer day.
Starting to feel exited now...just a little...30 days and i'll be in cb. Fears of the unknown and a desire to stay comfortable are melting slow but sure. My mind is filled with sweet memories and happiness. I recall how i felt when i first got there...when i discovered the life i was meant to live in a place that is truly home. I was there for 3 days and i couldnt recall having lived anywhere else...each face so familar and kindred. Perhaps my cold feet stemmed from memories of the end of the summer, when things became weird....like they are now..here. Its the natural progression of things. Granted, i am exited about the camping trip- It will be great. But still, its all coming to an end, and i can feel that now. And so, it feels better to be leaving. What a great summer it will be...short, but freakin awesome, i know it. I wish i could better portray what emotions flood my head...if only i could clip a peice of all of this and give it to you, so you can feel to. Then, you too, would never be the same....
The sun is setting and that depresses me...dont know why. I never liked the darkness...the sunshine makes me happy. I remember in fall quarter when i would feel so depressed first thing in the morning, but i'd step outside to go to an early class, and suddenly i was breathing easier. Too many weird things happen after sunset...too many lonely moments...some good times to be sure, but still i think i perfer day.
Starting to feel exited now...just a little...30 days and i'll be in cb. Fears of the unknown and a desire to stay comfortable are melting slow but sure. My mind is filled with sweet memories and happiness. I recall how i felt when i first got there...when i discovered the life i was meant to live in a place that is truly home. I was there for 3 days and i couldnt recall having lived anywhere else...each face so familar and kindred. Perhaps my cold feet stemmed from memories of the end of the summer, when things became weird....like they are now..here. Its the natural progression of things. Granted, i am exited about the camping trip- It will be great. But still, its all coming to an end, and i can feel that now. And so, it feels better to be leaving. What a great summer it will be...short, but freakin awesome, i know it. I wish i could better portray what emotions flood my head...if only i could clip a peice of all of this and give it to you, so you can feel to. Then, you too, would never be the same....