pride and pimples
I'm still alive. Work has been busy, but not uncomfortably so. It's just taking up a lot of my life. Meanwhile i have also been trying to deal with my skin woes.
I ended up visiting the doctor again to discuss the ongoing spots and itching. She took a look at some of my butt photos and immediately pulled up Google and typed "scabies granuloma", and what popped up was a lot of very gross, very explicit pictures of exactly the same shit that is covering my ass, elbows, thighs and midriff.
She said it's not ringworm, it's not a yeast infection, and it's also not an undead scabie coming back eat my flesh all over again. It's still - still! - the carcasses and eggs of the original infestation slowly working their way out of my skin. Why the recovery isn't a straight line from absolute hell to mostly fine i do not know. It gets better, it gets worse, it gets better again, it gets worse again. But each time it gets worse, it's less worse than it was before, i'll give you that.
I think this is the first time a doctor gave me a pity prescription. She told me there is no treatment for this, i just have to suffer through it. She said steroids can help, and i told her i am done with steroids. So she said she'd give me some permethrin instead.
Now, for those of you who are outdoors inclined, you will recognize permethrin as the stuff you put on your pants and your tent to keep ticks and other creepy crawlies away. Turns out since scabies mites are arachnids just like ticks and spiders and scorpions, you can use the same chemicals to kill them. So there is a version of permethrin that is used to treat scabies. I think the first time around i had some kind of permethrin milk i had to apply from my neck to my toes and every nook and cranny in between. This time i got the milder cream version that i am dutifully dabbing on the various dots as per my prescription.
Even though my doctor and i both know that the actual infestation is long gone, so this is pure placebo effect insecticiding.
And, well, fuck it. At least if i am applying some kind of ointment to somewhere i feel like i am doing something proactive instead of just lying around itching and getting annoyed at my stupid body that won't heal after 4-5 months of dealing with this shit.
On the bright side, most of the large, red mounds have flattened out now, and i'm mostly finding myself with gradually fading brown patches plus the odd itchy pimple. Oh and that rash on my shoulders and neck is back?! Please God let it be over soon. Just one week without itching, just one night of solid sleep, fuck, please. This has been one of the suckiest medical issues i have ever had to deal with in my life, and i've had my fair share.
In other news, there is no other news. Work work work. It's also rainy season in Taiwan so it's not really enticing me to go out and explore. Although not feeling 100% has also killed a lot of motivation anyway.
This weekend it's Taipei Pride. Last night there was a trans parade and as i type this entry there is the main pride parade. Over here apparently it's a lot less commercialized than in Europe, Australia and North America. Like, employers don't put together groups of colleagues to attend, there's no corporate sponsorship or anything. It's just gay people getting out there and trying to be heard in a part of the world where gay rights are still stuck in the dark ages.
Taiwan is the only country in all of Asia where gay marriage is completely legal. Gay and trans people do enjoy more rights here than pretty much anywhere else on the continent, although there is still discrimination, and a few holes in the law exist (e.g. around adoption, IVF and recognition of marriage for the purpose of immigration). Still, the Pride here is a destination for oppressed members of the community from elsewhere in Asia, since often they can't be out and proud in their own country.
Anyway, i was considering going to Pride this weekend. I've been to a few of them, in Australia, in Canada... But honestly i never really found them very meaningful, aside from as an excuse to party. Maybe it's because i come from privilege, and never really experienced bullying or ostracization because of my gender or sexuality. (I was certainly bullied as a child, but that was primarily due to being a foreigner and a nerd.) I love getting schmangled and dancing to techno music, but i can do that any time, so to me Pride is just a day like New Year's Eve when the clubs are overflowing with amateurs and part-timers who kinda ruin the place.
Of course, nowadays i could barely even be called a part-timer. Maybe i qualify as an old-timer.
But, yeah, the political aspect of Pride? Meh.
And what am i gonna do anyway, in Taiwan? Be some white savior acting like i can come here and stand in solidarity with LGBT Asians, when i can just get on a plane and go back to my cushy Canadian "home" whenever i please? Hmm.
I definitely feel self-conscious getting involved in anything political over here.
And it is politics season. While the rest of the world is writing about the UK's latest episode in the Tory clownshow, or Xi solidifying his power over the party, or the Americans still/again going on with their perpetual fucking campaign season... Taiwan elections are just around the corner too. They are mostly local elections, but there is going to be a referendum to drop the voting age from 20 to 18, which is good news for everyone except China, because the dwindling minority of Taiwanese who still buy into "eventual unification" rhetoric are old and dying.
There have been campaign posters up around my house for a month or so now, and just a week or two back a nearby moped shop got replaced by a campaign HQ for some candidate or other. I've tried to follow a bit of the local scene, but it is really petty. Like, the basic vote is between the KMT and aligned parties who would like increased ties with China, and the DPP and aligned parties who believe Taiwan should turn more toward Japan and southeast Asia. And because of the age issue, the pro-China parties are more socially conservative, and the pro-rest-of-world parties are more socially liberal. So you get these utterly entrenched voting blocs, and the best thing they can do to try win votes is find "gotcha" instances of corruption on the other side. And Taiwanese politics has plenty of corruption, so all you hear about is one guy cheating at university and the other guy laundering money and the third guy was an ex-gangster who did time for fucking murder. It is scandal after scandal and i never hear about actual policy. I suppose because you know what you are going to get. Pro-China conservatives. Pro-rest-of-world liberals who have to pal around with conservatives anyway because even the biggest alt right douchecanoe from the US is less bad than the fascist across the strait who abolished term limits, packed the standing committee with his own yes-men and threatens to invade.
Good times.
I am sure there is more nuance than this, but hey. I've only been here 3 months. Give me time.
Anyway, i did see that Kaohsiung is having a Pride later in November. And Kaohsiung is the town i have the fondest memories of here in Taiwan. Not sure if it's because it's the first place i stepped foot when i got off the container ship, or if it's because it's a harbor town, or it's flatter and wider and sunnier and more spacious than Taipei, i just liked it down there. I felt happy. There's no jobs, but it's only 2 hours away on the bullet train, so i could take a weekend trip. Bring my work computer, i could have a long weekend and work from a hotel. And in 2-3 weeks... Maybe by then my body will've further healed, to a point where i can actually enjoy myself.
Ah, i don't know. Just rambling at this point.
Perhaps tomorrow i will try find a good adventure to do.
I ended up visiting the doctor again to discuss the ongoing spots and itching. She took a look at some of my butt photos and immediately pulled up Google and typed "scabies granuloma", and what popped up was a lot of very gross, very explicit pictures of exactly the same shit that is covering my ass, elbows, thighs and midriff.
She said it's not ringworm, it's not a yeast infection, and it's also not an undead scabie coming back eat my flesh all over again. It's still - still! - the carcasses and eggs of the original infestation slowly working their way out of my skin. Why the recovery isn't a straight line from absolute hell to mostly fine i do not know. It gets better, it gets worse, it gets better again, it gets worse again. But each time it gets worse, it's less worse than it was before, i'll give you that.
I think this is the first time a doctor gave me a pity prescription. She told me there is no treatment for this, i just have to suffer through it. She said steroids can help, and i told her i am done with steroids. So she said she'd give me some permethrin instead.
Now, for those of you who are outdoors inclined, you will recognize permethrin as the stuff you put on your pants and your tent to keep ticks and other creepy crawlies away. Turns out since scabies mites are arachnids just like ticks and spiders and scorpions, you can use the same chemicals to kill them. So there is a version of permethrin that is used to treat scabies. I think the first time around i had some kind of permethrin milk i had to apply from my neck to my toes and every nook and cranny in between. This time i got the milder cream version that i am dutifully dabbing on the various dots as per my prescription.
Even though my doctor and i both know that the actual infestation is long gone, so this is pure placebo effect insecticiding.
And, well, fuck it. At least if i am applying some kind of ointment to somewhere i feel like i am doing something proactive instead of just lying around itching and getting annoyed at my stupid body that won't heal after 4-5 months of dealing with this shit.
On the bright side, most of the large, red mounds have flattened out now, and i'm mostly finding myself with gradually fading brown patches plus the odd itchy pimple. Oh and that rash on my shoulders and neck is back?! Please God let it be over soon. Just one week without itching, just one night of solid sleep, fuck, please. This has been one of the suckiest medical issues i have ever had to deal with in my life, and i've had my fair share.
In other news, there is no other news. Work work work. It's also rainy season in Taiwan so it's not really enticing me to go out and explore. Although not feeling 100% has also killed a lot of motivation anyway.
This weekend it's Taipei Pride. Last night there was a trans parade and as i type this entry there is the main pride parade. Over here apparently it's a lot less commercialized than in Europe, Australia and North America. Like, employers don't put together groups of colleagues to attend, there's no corporate sponsorship or anything. It's just gay people getting out there and trying to be heard in a part of the world where gay rights are still stuck in the dark ages.
Taiwan is the only country in all of Asia where gay marriage is completely legal. Gay and trans people do enjoy more rights here than pretty much anywhere else on the continent, although there is still discrimination, and a few holes in the law exist (e.g. around adoption, IVF and recognition of marriage for the purpose of immigration). Still, the Pride here is a destination for oppressed members of the community from elsewhere in Asia, since often they can't be out and proud in their own country.
Anyway, i was considering going to Pride this weekend. I've been to a few of them, in Australia, in Canada... But honestly i never really found them very meaningful, aside from as an excuse to party. Maybe it's because i come from privilege, and never really experienced bullying or ostracization because of my gender or sexuality. (I was certainly bullied as a child, but that was primarily due to being a foreigner and a nerd.) I love getting schmangled and dancing to techno music, but i can do that any time, so to me Pride is just a day like New Year's Eve when the clubs are overflowing with amateurs and part-timers who kinda ruin the place.
Of course, nowadays i could barely even be called a part-timer. Maybe i qualify as an old-timer.
But, yeah, the political aspect of Pride? Meh.
And what am i gonna do anyway, in Taiwan? Be some white savior acting like i can come here and stand in solidarity with LGBT Asians, when i can just get on a plane and go back to my cushy Canadian "home" whenever i please? Hmm.
I definitely feel self-conscious getting involved in anything political over here.
And it is politics season. While the rest of the world is writing about the UK's latest episode in the Tory clownshow, or Xi solidifying his power over the party, or the Americans still/again going on with their perpetual fucking campaign season... Taiwan elections are just around the corner too. They are mostly local elections, but there is going to be a referendum to drop the voting age from 20 to 18, which is good news for everyone except China, because the dwindling minority of Taiwanese who still buy into "eventual unification" rhetoric are old and dying.
There have been campaign posters up around my house for a month or so now, and just a week or two back a nearby moped shop got replaced by a campaign HQ for some candidate or other. I've tried to follow a bit of the local scene, but it is really petty. Like, the basic vote is between the KMT and aligned parties who would like increased ties with China, and the DPP and aligned parties who believe Taiwan should turn more toward Japan and southeast Asia. And because of the age issue, the pro-China parties are more socially conservative, and the pro-rest-of-world parties are more socially liberal. So you get these utterly entrenched voting blocs, and the best thing they can do to try win votes is find "gotcha" instances of corruption on the other side. And Taiwanese politics has plenty of corruption, so all you hear about is one guy cheating at university and the other guy laundering money and the third guy was an ex-gangster who did time for fucking murder. It is scandal after scandal and i never hear about actual policy. I suppose because you know what you are going to get. Pro-China conservatives. Pro-rest-of-world liberals who have to pal around with conservatives anyway because even the biggest alt right douchecanoe from the US is less bad than the fascist across the strait who abolished term limits, packed the standing committee with his own yes-men and threatens to invade.
Good times.
I am sure there is more nuance than this, but hey. I've only been here 3 months. Give me time.
Anyway, i did see that Kaohsiung is having a Pride later in November. And Kaohsiung is the town i have the fondest memories of here in Taiwan. Not sure if it's because it's the first place i stepped foot when i got off the container ship, or if it's because it's a harbor town, or it's flatter and wider and sunnier and more spacious than Taipei, i just liked it down there. I felt happy. There's no jobs, but it's only 2 hours away on the bullet train, so i could take a weekend trip. Bring my work computer, i could have a long weekend and work from a hotel. And in 2-3 weeks... Maybe by then my body will've further healed, to a point where i can actually enjoy myself.
Ah, i don't know. Just rambling at this point.
Perhaps tomorrow i will try find a good adventure to do.