i had a nutella and cheese sandwich
I arrived in Taiwan yesterday.
My last couple days in Canada were a bit nervewracking. I got my PCR test on Saturday morning, and unlike the previous PCR test i had to take to get into the US, this one was an old-style one where they jammed the thing right up your nose and into your throat. It was extremely uncomfortable and made me tear up from the weird sensation. My nose and eyes were running and i felt violated. I am so thankful i wasn't in an industry where they had to do this shit multiple times a week during the start of the pandemic. It's the God's honest worst.
But that was just the start of it, because after getting tested i spent the next 24 hours incredibly stressed about whether i might somehow test positive for a virus i think i've managed to avoid for 2.5 years. Yeah, i've been doing lots of traveling and going out in public places when much of the world was still locked up, but i have been distancing and masking and have barely even touched another human being since February 2020. And quite happily, i might add. A society where people are respectful enough of personal space that they don't touch or breathe on one another is the one i want to live in.
Still, there is always a fear that somehow i might've caught it, most likely from one of those unmasked jackasses coughing their guts up on public transport. The fact they exhibit no shame about their antisocial behavior shows some people learned absolutely nothing from the pandemic.
Anyway, i was stressed. I met a film industry worker in the breakfast room at the pod hotel and he said there's no point worrying because there's nothing you can do. He was one of the guys who had to be tested three times a week last year just to do his job. Then i checked the case numbers for BC, and specifically the percentage of positive results, and it was around 1.5%, which eased my mind a lot. If the average person going in for a lab test is 98.5 times out of 100 not going to have it, then someone who is perhaps a bit more careful than average should be okay, right?
Right. I still breathed a massive sigh of relief when i got the clean result Sunday morning. That left me all of Sunday to try to kill time, but i realized that carrying two large bags around in suburban-ass Richmond wasn't really much fun. I went to a hole-in-the-wall Sichuan place and got a 麻婆豆腐 mapo tofu, then i went to a Cantonese sweets place and got a 黑糯米椰汁豆腐花 black glutinous rice coconut milk soft tofu dessert. Then i went to a Hong Kong bakery and bought a 雞尾包 coconut bun. Aside from the prices, i could've been walking around in Shenzhen. Richmond is an entire city full of immigrants from Hong Kong, China and Taiwan, and you will hear more Cantonese and Mandarin on the streets than any other languages. I suppose i should've eaten some Canadian food before i left, but truth is i've been eating "Canadian" food like burgers and donairs (Canadian döner) and tacos and so forth for 2 years straight, so easing back into proper Chinese food was well overdue.
Also, Chinese food is my comfort food and i needed comfort.
I sat in one of the piddling young parks in the area, surrounded by luxury SUVs and residential highrises and gated communities because Richmond has decided to take the worst parts of Rich China as their model for urban development. After a few hours of idly doing nothing, i went to the airport. Where i proceeded to idly do nothing for another 8 hours.
By the time they opened the checkin counter for the flight, everything in the airport was closed, so no chance for me to get any dinner. The coconut bun i bought earlier in the day was much appreciated, i tell you what.
Before i got on the plane i had to register with Taiwanese CDC, declaring my negative PCR test and inputting the details of my pre-booked quarantine hotel. I also needed to put in my cellphone number, because they use your phone to get in contact with you while you are in quarantine, but also to triangulate your location and confirm you didn't leave the hotel. I was a bit worried because my Canadian SIM doesn't roam, but the exact moment that the "doors have now closed" announcement came over the loudspeaker in the plane, i received a text message with a link to a website where i could update my phone number to a Taiwanese SIM after i arrived in Taiwan.
And it continued working smoothly upon landing. I got off the plane, and the first thing they have you do is go in the line of "have SIM" and "do not have SIM". If you do not have SIM, they sell you a Taiwan SIM and put it in your phone to give you a local number, then you continue through to the website and update your number. You get another text to confirm the number is yours, then a new page pops up that the CDC staff check before allowing you to continue on to immigration/customs/etc. For people without a smartphone, they also provide rental phones that you can keep with you through quarantine.
After passing through immigration, baggage check and customs - but before you can get out of the airport proper - they take everyone through another checkpoint where you spit into a container for saliva PCR test. After you submit your sample, you get a sticker that you put on your shirt, then you line up for a quarantine taxi. Because all of the quarantine hotel details are submitted to CDC when you enter, they already know the address of the hotel, and the government has implemented a copay system so that the maximum you will pay - no matter where your hotel is - is TW$1000 or about US$30. After spraying you and all your luggage with alcohol, the cab takes you direct to the hotel, and in my case, i was shuffled into a back elevator without going through the lobby, and told to head to my room, which was already open and waiting for me. Closed the door, got a phone call from front desk and all the other info i needed.
Waiting for me outside the room was my first breakfast. I had asked my company to tell the hotel i wanted to eat vegan - or at least Taiwan-style vegetarian - but anyone who has special dietary requirements knows how it goes. They always get it wrong, that's just part of the deal. I was so hungry i quite happily wolfed down my 叉燒葱油餅 green onion pancake with char siu pork inside. But i drew the line at drinking the provided milk tea. Milk tea is the worst goddamn invention of Hong Kong/Taiwan cuisine. If you're going to mix western and eastern flavors together, at least do two of the best flavors, not two of the worst. Fucking milk and tea, what is this vomit-worthy nonsense.
It felt good, though. Being able to communicate with my taxi driver and the hotel staff and the CDC and other government officials in Chinese. Seeing those tall buildings with water tanks on the roof, verdant jungly mountains popping up from the factory chimneys, colorful temples... I got a phonecall from the local police in the afternoon, just double-checking i was in the room i said i was, and confirming i understood the quarantine requirements. Everyone has told me to add them on LINE, which is an instant messenger that fills the role WeChat does in China and WhatsApp does in Panama and Colombia. Feels a bit weird that the local police is my first "friend" on the app, but it is what it is. I'll delete them once i'm out of quarantine.
In theory i am allowed out of quarantine from day four onwards, if i take a negative antigen self-test. The CDC give everyone two free tests so they can go out days 4-5 and days 6-7 if they want. To be honest i'm not sure if i'll bother because the only thing i have to do out there is look for apartments, and i don't want to go through the awkwardness of explaining to someone that i am still technically in quarantine but allowed out to do necessary things because of the test. I think potential landlords will feel more comfortable dealing with a foreigner who has already been through the full 7 days. Perhaps i will head out to visit the night market that is literally just outside the window of my hotel, though. It is definitely jealousy-inducing to see people walking round outside eating yummy 小吃 snacks while i am stuck in hotel room with window i am not even allowed to open.
This is a real contrast to the experience when i got back to Canada two years ago and had to do the 14 day quarantine. Back then it was essentially an honor system. You made your way to your hotel yourself, and the checkin was no different for quarantine visitors versus regular visitors, there was nobody checking to see if you actually stayed in your room or not. The government-supplied app did make you check in with your symptoms every day, but i only received a single phonecall from the CDC, and it is well-documented that a lot of people not only half-assed their quarantine, but also actively went out and socialized causing further outbreaks. It's so disappointing that people can't even do the bare fucking minimum of respect for the community they're entering... Like, i am all for freedom of movement - i am a no borders absolutist - but asking people to follow basic public health measures to try keep local communities safe... How is that a big deal? If your job doesn't allow time for that, that's on your shitty job, not on the public health policy. Private employers should step up or get out. We're a society, not a random collection of psychopathic leeches.
Sigh. I mean, i suppose this "i don't give a fuck" attitude is exactly the mindset that led to Europeans traipsing into the Americas and introducing disease that killed off tens of millions of indigenous people. How little we have grown in 500 years.
Anyway, i am happily in quarantine, and i will say it is nice that after months of paying my own way through expensive-ass accommodation, i now have a week of comfort on the company dime. My start date has been moved forward from August 1 to August 8, so i have an extra week to look for an apartment and readjust to life in this part of the world. As i alluded to earlier, it does feel nice to be back here. It's very humid, daytime temperature around 36C (97F). The trees are bright green. The buildings have that shabby, mossy, rusted-out look that all buildings do in this kind of weather. Puddles of thick, treacly water fill from dripping eaves and pregnant skies. Neon lights reflect from every angle. Tight alleyways, paper lanterns, distant music. I love it so much, it feels like home to me, so much more than the sad, lifeless suburbs of North America.
And then someone serves me a fucking triple stack white bread sandwich with the crusts cut off, with nutella and cheese inside it.
Dear lord, for better or for worse, i'm definitely back in East Asia.
My last couple days in Canada were a bit nervewracking. I got my PCR test on Saturday morning, and unlike the previous PCR test i had to take to get into the US, this one was an old-style one where they jammed the thing right up your nose and into your throat. It was extremely uncomfortable and made me tear up from the weird sensation. My nose and eyes were running and i felt violated. I am so thankful i wasn't in an industry where they had to do this shit multiple times a week during the start of the pandemic. It's the God's honest worst.
But that was just the start of it, because after getting tested i spent the next 24 hours incredibly stressed about whether i might somehow test positive for a virus i think i've managed to avoid for 2.5 years. Yeah, i've been doing lots of traveling and going out in public places when much of the world was still locked up, but i have been distancing and masking and have barely even touched another human being since February 2020. And quite happily, i might add. A society where people are respectful enough of personal space that they don't touch or breathe on one another is the one i want to live in.
Still, there is always a fear that somehow i might've caught it, most likely from one of those unmasked jackasses coughing their guts up on public transport. The fact they exhibit no shame about their antisocial behavior shows some people learned absolutely nothing from the pandemic.
Anyway, i was stressed. I met a film industry worker in the breakfast room at the pod hotel and he said there's no point worrying because there's nothing you can do. He was one of the guys who had to be tested three times a week last year just to do his job. Then i checked the case numbers for BC, and specifically the percentage of positive results, and it was around 1.5%, which eased my mind a lot. If the average person going in for a lab test is 98.5 times out of 100 not going to have it, then someone who is perhaps a bit more careful than average should be okay, right?
Right. I still breathed a massive sigh of relief when i got the clean result Sunday morning. That left me all of Sunday to try to kill time, but i realized that carrying two large bags around in suburban-ass Richmond wasn't really much fun. I went to a hole-in-the-wall Sichuan place and got a 麻婆豆腐 mapo tofu, then i went to a Cantonese sweets place and got a 黑糯米椰汁豆腐花 black glutinous rice coconut milk soft tofu dessert. Then i went to a Hong Kong bakery and bought a 雞尾包 coconut bun. Aside from the prices, i could've been walking around in Shenzhen. Richmond is an entire city full of immigrants from Hong Kong, China and Taiwan, and you will hear more Cantonese and Mandarin on the streets than any other languages. I suppose i should've eaten some Canadian food before i left, but truth is i've been eating "Canadian" food like burgers and donairs (Canadian döner) and tacos and so forth for 2 years straight, so easing back into proper Chinese food was well overdue.
Also, Chinese food is my comfort food and i needed comfort.
I sat in one of the piddling young parks in the area, surrounded by luxury SUVs and residential highrises and gated communities because Richmond has decided to take the worst parts of Rich China as their model for urban development. After a few hours of idly doing nothing, i went to the airport. Where i proceeded to idly do nothing for another 8 hours.
By the time they opened the checkin counter for the flight, everything in the airport was closed, so no chance for me to get any dinner. The coconut bun i bought earlier in the day was much appreciated, i tell you what.
Before i got on the plane i had to register with Taiwanese CDC, declaring my negative PCR test and inputting the details of my pre-booked quarantine hotel. I also needed to put in my cellphone number, because they use your phone to get in contact with you while you are in quarantine, but also to triangulate your location and confirm you didn't leave the hotel. I was a bit worried because my Canadian SIM doesn't roam, but the exact moment that the "doors have now closed" announcement came over the loudspeaker in the plane, i received a text message with a link to a website where i could update my phone number to a Taiwanese SIM after i arrived in Taiwan.
And it continued working smoothly upon landing. I got off the plane, and the first thing they have you do is go in the line of "have SIM" and "do not have SIM". If you do not have SIM, they sell you a Taiwan SIM and put it in your phone to give you a local number, then you continue through to the website and update your number. You get another text to confirm the number is yours, then a new page pops up that the CDC staff check before allowing you to continue on to immigration/customs/etc. For people without a smartphone, they also provide rental phones that you can keep with you through quarantine.
After passing through immigration, baggage check and customs - but before you can get out of the airport proper - they take everyone through another checkpoint where you spit into a container for saliva PCR test. After you submit your sample, you get a sticker that you put on your shirt, then you line up for a quarantine taxi. Because all of the quarantine hotel details are submitted to CDC when you enter, they already know the address of the hotel, and the government has implemented a copay system so that the maximum you will pay - no matter where your hotel is - is TW$1000 or about US$30. After spraying you and all your luggage with alcohol, the cab takes you direct to the hotel, and in my case, i was shuffled into a back elevator without going through the lobby, and told to head to my room, which was already open and waiting for me. Closed the door, got a phone call from front desk and all the other info i needed.
Waiting for me outside the room was my first breakfast. I had asked my company to tell the hotel i wanted to eat vegan - or at least Taiwan-style vegetarian - but anyone who has special dietary requirements knows how it goes. They always get it wrong, that's just part of the deal. I was so hungry i quite happily wolfed down my 叉燒葱油餅 green onion pancake with char siu pork inside. But i drew the line at drinking the provided milk tea. Milk tea is the worst goddamn invention of Hong Kong/Taiwan cuisine. If you're going to mix western and eastern flavors together, at least do two of the best flavors, not two of the worst. Fucking milk and tea, what is this vomit-worthy nonsense.
It felt good, though. Being able to communicate with my taxi driver and the hotel staff and the CDC and other government officials in Chinese. Seeing those tall buildings with water tanks on the roof, verdant jungly mountains popping up from the factory chimneys, colorful temples... I got a phonecall from the local police in the afternoon, just double-checking i was in the room i said i was, and confirming i understood the quarantine requirements. Everyone has told me to add them on LINE, which is an instant messenger that fills the role WeChat does in China and WhatsApp does in Panama and Colombia. Feels a bit weird that the local police is my first "friend" on the app, but it is what it is. I'll delete them once i'm out of quarantine.
In theory i am allowed out of quarantine from day four onwards, if i take a negative antigen self-test. The CDC give everyone two free tests so they can go out days 4-5 and days 6-7 if they want. To be honest i'm not sure if i'll bother because the only thing i have to do out there is look for apartments, and i don't want to go through the awkwardness of explaining to someone that i am still technically in quarantine but allowed out to do necessary things because of the test. I think potential landlords will feel more comfortable dealing with a foreigner who has already been through the full 7 days. Perhaps i will head out to visit the night market that is literally just outside the window of my hotel, though. It is definitely jealousy-inducing to see people walking round outside eating yummy 小吃 snacks while i am stuck in hotel room with window i am not even allowed to open.
This is a real contrast to the experience when i got back to Canada two years ago and had to do the 14 day quarantine. Back then it was essentially an honor system. You made your way to your hotel yourself, and the checkin was no different for quarantine visitors versus regular visitors, there was nobody checking to see if you actually stayed in your room or not. The government-supplied app did make you check in with your symptoms every day, but i only received a single phonecall from the CDC, and it is well-documented that a lot of people not only half-assed their quarantine, but also actively went out and socialized causing further outbreaks. It's so disappointing that people can't even do the bare fucking minimum of respect for the community they're entering... Like, i am all for freedom of movement - i am a no borders absolutist - but asking people to follow basic public health measures to try keep local communities safe... How is that a big deal? If your job doesn't allow time for that, that's on your shitty job, not on the public health policy. Private employers should step up or get out. We're a society, not a random collection of psychopathic leeches.
Sigh. I mean, i suppose this "i don't give a fuck" attitude is exactly the mindset that led to Europeans traipsing into the Americas and introducing disease that killed off tens of millions of indigenous people. How little we have grown in 500 years.
Anyway, i am happily in quarantine, and i will say it is nice that after months of paying my own way through expensive-ass accommodation, i now have a week of comfort on the company dime. My start date has been moved forward from August 1 to August 8, so i have an extra week to look for an apartment and readjust to life in this part of the world. As i alluded to earlier, it does feel nice to be back here. It's very humid, daytime temperature around 36C (97F). The trees are bright green. The buildings have that shabby, mossy, rusted-out look that all buildings do in this kind of weather. Puddles of thick, treacly water fill from dripping eaves and pregnant skies. Neon lights reflect from every angle. Tight alleyways, paper lanterns, distant music. I love it so much, it feels like home to me, so much more than the sad, lifeless suburbs of North America.
And then someone serves me a fucking triple stack white bread sandwich with the crusts cut off, with nutella and cheese inside it.
Dear lord, for better or for worse, i'm definitely back in East Asia.