David → Volcán
After posting my last non-meme entry from the bus terminal in Santiago, i jumped on a minibus to David. Having spent a couple nights in David before, i kinda knew what i was getting into. A town which is basically just one very large suburb without a clear commercial center, without any parks, without any tourist attractions, without anything really to recommend it at all. At least the weather is the best in Panama. Every day i have spent there has been warm and sunny - no rain, no clouds, no shade, no gusts of wind. Most people i talk to - even Panamanians - complain that it's oppressive, but for me it's pleasant and cozy and makes me happy. It's less humid than the rest of the country. But the food situation is possibly even more dismal than it is in Panama City, where it is already very fucking dismal.
I spent two nights eating bananas and oats and walnuts and gingerbread and tortillas and peanuts. I suppose i could've bought some beans and greens and cooked something in the kitchen of the place i was staying, but i can't really be bothered.
I think i am depressed. I don't know if i'm depressed because all the bland and unhealthy food has finally defeated me, or if i'm depressed because i can't find anywhere in this country that has decent independent hiking opportunities, or if i'm depressed because COVID is making it difficult to spontaneously go places on a whim, or if i'm depressed because i have bipolar disorder and sometimes i just get depressed, but i am struggling to get enthused about anything right now. I am so utterly bored by everything i look up in Latin America that isn't Mexico. Like, oh, great, more fucking countries that only eat steak and hamburgers and pizza and fried chicken and pork cutlets. Why doesn't anyone south of Chiapas put a fucking chili in anything? Oh, great, more fucking countryside where you can't walk around alone for fear of getting mugged or kidnapped by some local criminals. More fucking tourist towns that only exist for the purpose of extracting money from foreigners. Fucking fuck!
I took a bus to Volcán today, a town up in the mountains that is slightly less touristy than the more well-known destination of Boquete, which is on other side of the volcano. You can actually hike from a nearby town (Cerro Punta) to Boquete around the base of the volcano in a day, although the recommendations are to take a guide because the trail isn't marked. You can also overnight hike to the very top of the volcano, where temperatures are freezing, and where if you are extremely lucky you will get a cloudless day and see both the Pacific and Atlantic oceans from the same point. Guide recommended. I have no interest in either of these hikes, or, indeed, any hike where i need to have a fucking guide. Or bring a machete and a GPS so i can bushwhack my way through an unmaintained trail. Or take a fucking taxi to the trail head because they are all miles out of town. It's so fucking frustrating. For some reason nobody thinks to actually put parks or trails walking distance from the towns here. Because even in the fucking so-called "eco tourism" destinations, the car culture is as thoroughly ingrained as it is in the US. I am so tired of all these "eco tourism" locations that require 4WD internal combustion vehicles or engine-powered boats to get there. What a total fucking wank. Yeah take a plane and a boat and a taxi to your "eco" retreat where you can spend literally 10x what i am spending on my accommodation so you can eat organic produce and do yoga and speak English all day pretending you're saving the planet. Fuck this whole industry, it makes me sick.
God, i am just in such a cranky mood about everything. I am going to be "stuck" up here for 3 days because on Friday i meet up with a local chef to perhaps do a bit of work in her restaurant and taste some delicious, local, fresh food for possibly the first time since i left Miami. (Well there wasn't much local or fresh food in Miami either, but at least it was delicious.)
I just feel like crying. Every time i stop moving in this country something annoys me. I love the buses. I love the bus terminals. The people dressed in colorful indigenous clothes, the touts, the hawkers, the bags full of who-knows-what, the hustle, the bustle... I love the view out the windows when we're going somewhere. But then i check into the hostels, and every fonda nearby has the exact same food - slab of unseasoned meat with rice and "salad" (usually something drenched in mayonnaise like potato salad or coleslaw). If i'm very lucky there might be beans or plantain, but not always. Fucking sancocho, which is basically just more fucking meat and potatoes (or yam or yuca) in a liquid version. It's not the worst soup in the world, except for i fucking hate soup in the first place and it should be banned from the dinner table. One of my Spanish teachers said i should read Mafalda, an Argentinian comic strip about a girl who is a social justice warrior and hates soup. I do hate soup. But even more i hate bland. God, i just want something with a fucking chili in it, just one fucking chili, bitte!
Yeah, i am depressed. But what to do about that? I dunno. Guess i will make another tortilla with some peanuts in it. I don't have any banana today, but i found some dates at the store yesterday. I didn't get to eat lunch today either. Now i don't want to leave my room. It's cold outside because hooray fucking "temperate" mountain climate and getting back to the shops means passing a bunch of residences with stray and/or off-leash dogs out the front who are slightly less intimidating than the ones in Texas because they're smaller, but they're still aggressive. Nobody who stays at this hostel would notice any of this because either they have a private car, or they take a taxi the whole 1.5km to the center of town. Fuck fucking car culture to the ends of the Earth, i hate it. I hate everything.
I spent two nights eating bananas and oats and walnuts and gingerbread and tortillas and peanuts. I suppose i could've bought some beans and greens and cooked something in the kitchen of the place i was staying, but i can't really be bothered.
I think i am depressed. I don't know if i'm depressed because all the bland and unhealthy food has finally defeated me, or if i'm depressed because i can't find anywhere in this country that has decent independent hiking opportunities, or if i'm depressed because COVID is making it difficult to spontaneously go places on a whim, or if i'm depressed because i have bipolar disorder and sometimes i just get depressed, but i am struggling to get enthused about anything right now. I am so utterly bored by everything i look up in Latin America that isn't Mexico. Like, oh, great, more fucking countries that only eat steak and hamburgers and pizza and fried chicken and pork cutlets. Why doesn't anyone south of Chiapas put a fucking chili in anything? Oh, great, more fucking countryside where you can't walk around alone for fear of getting mugged or kidnapped by some local criminals. More fucking tourist towns that only exist for the purpose of extracting money from foreigners. Fucking fuck!
I took a bus to Volcán today, a town up in the mountains that is slightly less touristy than the more well-known destination of Boquete, which is on other side of the volcano. You can actually hike from a nearby town (Cerro Punta) to Boquete around the base of the volcano in a day, although the recommendations are to take a guide because the trail isn't marked. You can also overnight hike to the very top of the volcano, where temperatures are freezing, and where if you are extremely lucky you will get a cloudless day and see both the Pacific and Atlantic oceans from the same point. Guide recommended. I have no interest in either of these hikes, or, indeed, any hike where i need to have a fucking guide. Or bring a machete and a GPS so i can bushwhack my way through an unmaintained trail. Or take a fucking taxi to the trail head because they are all miles out of town. It's so fucking frustrating. For some reason nobody thinks to actually put parks or trails walking distance from the towns here. Because even in the fucking so-called "eco tourism" destinations, the car culture is as thoroughly ingrained as it is in the US. I am so tired of all these "eco tourism" locations that require 4WD internal combustion vehicles or engine-powered boats to get there. What a total fucking wank. Yeah take a plane and a boat and a taxi to your "eco" retreat where you can spend literally 10x what i am spending on my accommodation so you can eat organic produce and do yoga and speak English all day pretending you're saving the planet. Fuck this whole industry, it makes me sick.
God, i am just in such a cranky mood about everything. I am going to be "stuck" up here for 3 days because on Friday i meet up with a local chef to perhaps do a bit of work in her restaurant and taste some delicious, local, fresh food for possibly the first time since i left Miami. (Well there wasn't much local or fresh food in Miami either, but at least it was delicious.)
I just feel like crying. Every time i stop moving in this country something annoys me. I love the buses. I love the bus terminals. The people dressed in colorful indigenous clothes, the touts, the hawkers, the bags full of who-knows-what, the hustle, the bustle... I love the view out the windows when we're going somewhere. But then i check into the hostels, and every fonda nearby has the exact same food - slab of unseasoned meat with rice and "salad" (usually something drenched in mayonnaise like potato salad or coleslaw). If i'm very lucky there might be beans or plantain, but not always. Fucking sancocho, which is basically just more fucking meat and potatoes (or yam or yuca) in a liquid version. It's not the worst soup in the world, except for i fucking hate soup in the first place and it should be banned from the dinner table. One of my Spanish teachers said i should read Mafalda, an Argentinian comic strip about a girl who is a social justice warrior and hates soup. I do hate soup. But even more i hate bland. God, i just want something with a fucking chili in it, just one fucking chili, bitte!
Yeah, i am depressed. But what to do about that? I dunno. Guess i will make another tortilla with some peanuts in it. I don't have any banana today, but i found some dates at the store yesterday. I didn't get to eat lunch today either. Now i don't want to leave my room. It's cold outside because hooray fucking "temperate" mountain climate and getting back to the shops means passing a bunch of residences with stray and/or off-leash dogs out the front who are slightly less intimidating than the ones in Texas because they're smaller, but they're still aggressive. Nobody who stays at this hostel would notice any of this because either they have a private car, or they take a taxi the whole 1.5km to the center of town. Fuck fucking car culture to the ends of the Earth, i hate it. I hate everything.