Bocas del Toro kinda sucks
Ah, hostels. I remember why i dislike hostels. It's not so much the setup of shared room and shower, although obviously i would prefer privacy. It's the clientele. I think Paul Theroux described it well when he said that backpackers annoyed him because they invariably come from wealthy countries and travel poor countries, but somehow every conversation seems to end up revolving around saving money. Like a lot of travelers, they boastfully list off all the places they "did", but then to make it extra obnoxious it rapidly becomes a one-upmanship of how cheap they "did" it. I mean, cost is always a factor you need to consider when it comes to travel - and i consider it too - but it's so tedious to sit around talking about the cheapest possible route from A to B or comparing notes on which package tour is the best value for money. It's just like a faux-poor version of the same conversations my wealthy colleagues have about how they avoid paying taxes.
So i checked into my hostel and there was someone at the breakfast bar complaining that she walked to every hostel in town and couldn't find work at any of them. Like, you're traveling in what is clearly a poor part of the country, where every business caters primarily to moneyed tourists, and you're just expecting to find work at the drop of a hat, so you don't have to pay for your accommodation, which is already relatively cheap... How do people travel like this and keep their self-respect? It's not quite begpacking, but it feels really privileged to just expect to be able to do a bit of front desk or tend bar in exchange for room and board, then fly home to your comfortable first world country, leaving the real poverty behind. (The cleaners are local, of course.)
My first impressions of this town are not good. It seems almost every hostel and restaurant is owned by an expat. I get that expats "understand" what tourists enjoy (apparently that is yoga, surfing, snorkeling, diving, tacos and "bowls"), but it doesn't feel like the money is funneling in the right direction, when there are local people living in literal shacks on the back streets. It doesn't seem to me that half these restaurants could be affordable for a local person, at least compared to the prices in working class cafeterias and bars in Panama City. And the people here are surely poorer than those in Panama City. Maybe i need to do a bit more exploring, but it doesn't feel like most of the places in town are places where local people go to relax and enjoy themselves. That's completely turned me off my dream of drinking booze out of a coconut on the beach, and instead i just bought a couple beers at the (Chinese migrant-operated) supermarket and am now back in the hostel planning to eat some more out of my Ursack. But less interesting eating than it would've been if i'd done the same in Panama City, where the supermarkets had far more varied food options. Oh, and the Dutch foreigner working at reception of the hostel is playing Dutch hip-hop, so i am practicing my Dutch listening comprehension and not my Spanish listening comprehension, which might be useful if i was going to Curaçao next, but probably not since their local language is Papiamento.
What i could do is adjust my expectation and just live here for a week while i do the stuff i said i was going to do elsewhere but didn't, that is write to my non-LiveJournal-reading family and friends to let them know where i am, and expand my travel insurance outside of the US. I got internet, and a comfortable big common area where i can plug in and do plenty of writing. Kitchen if i want to cook something, although it's not really worth it with the ingredients in the stores. The weather will be raining all week, but it's nice and warm. Bonus if i also take some Spanish lessons, i suppose, although i feel a bit douchey doing it at a school that appears to be owned by expats.
I guess i will go make a tortilla with some peanuts in it. And a banana.
-o-
Breakfast in the hostel was drip coffee and banana pancakes. Fuck. I never wanted to do this, but somehow i ended up on the Latin American version of the banana pancake trail. It is the fucking worst.
Overheard in the hostel... "Oh i wonder if i should start drinking Panama beer instead of a good one", "yuck, i'm not in the slightest bit curious about that". "I just came from traveling in Sweden, go to the shop, avocado is the same price as it was in Lapland, how is that possible?" "I can go into the jungle, cut a banana off the tree for free, but in the shop it's same price as Europe." Italians, Swiss, Danes, Dutch. "Are you a Dutchie too, you are so tall!" White people with dreadlocks, saris and ॐ tattoos. That's the older ones. The rest are bright-eyed and bushy-tailed youngsters who look like babies to me, although they are proud to be 20 or 21. "This is the first time i left Europe!" "You too?" "I'd rather have corona on the beach in Costa Rica than back home."
Admittedly i did meet two white collar workers who were doing a couple days a week of remote work out of the hostel and then living the hashtag vagabond whatever life for the rest of the week. That's a lifestyle i could also set up for myself, but then it would ruin the sense that i am traveling. Knowing i have to show up at a certain time for my daily standup, fuck, i might as well not be traveling at all if i can't make my own pace. And i really don't need to talk about Java 17 on my fucking holiday, man.
And that's the infuriating thing about this environment. I don't theoretically have anything against white people with dreads. Hell, most of these people are exactly the sort who have made up my friends group in the past. Pretty much everyone i know has "done" Southeast Asia or Central and South America at some point in their lives. They all bummed around with backpacks and stayed at hostels and drank a lot of booze or did yoga and paid tourist money for spiritual retreats or mountain hikes. I suppose these are "my people". But what's the point of traveling just to hang out with people who are pretty much the same as i who i would hang with in a city where i work?
I walked into town where yesterday i had scouted a cheap "home-cooked" food place (pancakes, pizza, burgers, fried chicken) that had an espresso machine. I had seen the sign for $1 coffee. Unfortunately i didn't read on and see that drip coffee was the dollar and espresso was $2.50. That's Northern Europe prices! Even in Italy it's only a euro. In Panama City you get an espresso for 75 cents and an americano for a dollar. This is nuts. I don't believe that markup is solely the cost of shipping a bag of espresso beans across from the mainland. For fuck's sake, they grow coffee here. And yet, it wasn't even a good coffee.
This place sucks. I guess people come here for the surfing and diving and kayaking and beach-sitting, but all of that costs money. (Maybe not the beach-sitting.) I could rent a bike and go cycle up to the other end of the island and try ignore the fact i am surrounded by tourists but what's the point? I'll just meet more tourists out there trying to do the same thing, or locals trying to sell me shit because tourists are just the local version of an ATM. Better to stay in the hostel and focus on my "work", which is composing an update email to my family and friends, and then planning where i will go next.
I need to get off this fucking gringo trail. I need to go somewhere that actually has a real local economy, not a place that only exists to be an "authentic", "eco-friendly" holiday destination for jetsetting Europeans.
-o-
I tried again. After writing a family and friends update mail that tried and probably failed to capture the last 3-4 months of travel, i headed back into town. Got people trying to get me to eat at their restaurants, all telling me it's "authentic" Panamanian food. There's nobody at any of the restaurants, either because the tour boats haven't come back yet, or tourists don't eat at 5:30pm like my geriatric ass, or the peak season hasn't hit yet, or COVID, or whatever.
Back in the hostel, my Icelandic digital nomad roommate remarked on me spending the whole day inside. I mean, it was pissing down with rain till the early afternoon, but it's a fair comment. Apparently it takes me the better part of a day to write an email, which is why i've been putting it off for so long.
-o-
Ah, i got sidetracked by my meal. Which sucked. I walked past a half dozen restaurants, and picked one which seemed least obnoxious. You basically just ordered whatever meat you wanted and got a plate. The meat wasn't in some kind of interesting stew or special preparation, you could just get fried, grilled, BBQ sauce or onions. Pick your side, i chose fried yucca. It was just a normal pork chop like you could get at any cafeteria anywhere in the world, no interesting spices or sauces. I mean, it's food that keeps you alive. But it's not food i would pay for normally, especially not as much as i did.
Anyway, i wanted to complain a bit more about being seen as a walking ATM. I don't mind hawkers when they hawk to everyone, but i hate it when they single out foreigners/gringos/tourists and try extract money from them. I had one dude try sell me pot, "hey, friend, good weed". Nah, bro. Even if i did like pot, i wouldn't buy it from some rando on the goddamn streets in another country where it's illegal. Why even ask me? I wasn't walking around with some fuckin stupid stoner T-shirt on or whatever. I guess people do end up buying from him, though, or he wouldn't try it on. Thanks, stoner tourists, for contributing to this dumb fucking economy.
I hate this shit. I hate that i can't have a real conversation with anyone. When everyone sees you as a mark, you can't have a normal relationship. I don't mind waiter/diner relationship, i don't mind bartender/barfly, clerk/customer, teacher/student - they're voluntary contracts you both entered into. But i do mind this weird vibe where random people you meet on the street immediately construct a relationship where you are a potential source of income. People should be able to have an honest relationship even if there is a wealth or income imbalance. Even if the relationship is just "you rich gentrifying asshole, get the fuck out of my country", at least it would be honest. But fake friendliness to try get money, it just makes me sick.
Incidentally, this is also something i hate about American tip culture. All the servers emotionally fellate you, but it's fake because they're only doing it to get a bigger tip. If there were no tips, the contract would be clear. Serve me my food. The end. Then at least if someone shows a bit of personal attention i feel like it's meaningful and not just some kind of bullshit act to extract as much cash from me as possible.
Capitalism is fucking disgusting.
I messaged my friend R about my dismay at this horrible social structure that exists here, and she's like "i think everywhere in the Caribbean is like that". Really? Because, then, fuck the Caribbean. It's not like i have a problem with tourist towns, in fact i find them quite fun to visit - especially on the off season. But i do have a problem with very evident income imbalance, where there is basically no local economy, no town at all without the tourists. But the people raking in the cash are expat business owners and not local people. And the nerve of these places to pretend they are doing "ecotourism" or whatever. Give me a break. Glad y'all got a composting bin and no hot water, but that doesn't make you some kind of "off-grid" or "sustainable" trailblazer, it just makes you a normal fucking business in a poor region of the tropics. It feels like greenwashed colonialism. Ugh, i am getting angry again just typing it out.
I should go to bed. One more day here, then i am out. If it's not raining buckets perhaps i will rent a bike and cycle up the island. But spending any money here just gives me a bad taste in my mouth.
-o-
I rented a bike. I rode up to the top end of the eastern side of the island and hung my new hammock between a coconut tree and another type of tree that won't drop a heavy fruit on my head. It is relaxing. Either because it's early, or because it's overcast/drizzling, there is nobody else up here. I passed some meditating guy and a few surfers further down the beach, just next to one of the beachfront resorts.
There are a lot of beachfront resorts. These spots charge far more than i am willing to pay per night, and presumably they are a bit more luxurious than my hostel - private rooms, hot water perhaps.
I am a little unsure of how high the water is going to get. The surf here is awesome, much more epic than the piddling surf in Miami or the barely-even-qualifies-as-a-wave on the Gulf Coast. The foam is spraying up higher than a person. It gives me that slightly scared feeling that i used to get on the beaches in New Zealand. Like if you go in alone you could be washed out to sea so you better be a badass swimmer to even think about it. It's the kind of spot that makes you respect the ocean. And, thus, also worry about how high it's going to get and if you'll be stuck in a hammock under a coconut tree come high tide at 3:13pm.
Well, i'll probably leave before that because i forgot to put food in my bag. I was thinking of cycling up to the other beach as well, which is about 15km from town. Wouldn't think twice about it on a serious bike, but this is a cruiser with only one gear and pedal backwards to brake. Also the roads are pretty rugged when you get off the sealed section around town. I suppose i did some adventures like this on share bikes in China, so i can probably do it, but i'll see how i feel.
I do admit, lying here in a hammock on a quiet section of the beach with epic waves smashing ashore is a pretty cool feeling. It's way less depressing than the town area where it feels like the only thing to do is spend money on tours and "activities" and whatnot. Coming out here with a bottle of rum and some limes, dusting off my Kindle app, that'd be an alright way to spend a few days. On the other hand, perhaps there are better beaches to do this where i don't feel so surrounded by foreigners. Maybe on the mainland where perhaps there are more local tourists?
I dunno, i think one of my problems is i always like the idea of sitting around like a bum all day more than the reality of it. Bike touring showed me that actually i enjoy passing through a place a lot more than i enjoy staying in it.
-o-
To wit: the moment the first wave crested the sand bar i was swinging behind, i packed up. I probably could've hung another hour without getting stranded, but i was ready for a new bit of scenery. Amusingly, when i rounded the mangrove i came across a couple who were sunbathing on the sand bar and would shortly be getting a nasty surprise.
On my way back to the town i passed a lot of people heading up the beach where i just came. You know. Sun came out. Afternoon. Hangover gone. Whatevs. I headed back to the first little grocery store and bought some expired and slightly moldy coconut buns, plantain chips, water, soursop juice and peanuts. Then i headed up the hill to the other beach.
That ride to the other beach was a good one. It went up and down the hills and through the jungle. It reminded me of my best rides and hikes in Taiwan and less developed areas of southern China. Every now and then a minibus zoomed past, but there weren't many people heading up there overland (most tourists take the water taxi).
I popped out at the other end about an hour later, then walked my bike on the narrow hiking trail to the beach. The trail went right along the waterfront and featured several eroded bits that you needed to wade through. When i got out of the jungly waterfront there was an adorable little beach with a bunch of huts serving up expensive alcohol and food to the tourists who either made the trek or floated their way over on a water taxi.
It was super chill. Sitting in a hut on the beach drinking a caipirinha, i could almost forget the weird vibe of the town just down the road. Except for there was a fancy catamaran floating just off the beach and a bunch of obnoxious Americans sitting around being obnoxious. But there were a couple Spanish-speaking tourists too, so at least i didn't feel like it was all English, French and Dutch.
I got a quick, expensive bite, then went back to my caipi guy to tell him he was the best hut on the beach and could he make me another one.
But there was no smiling. I just mentioned in the previous snippet that i hate when American servers pull out the fake smiles for tips. But when servers don't smile at all and look like they pretty much hate their jobs, then it makes me feel even more like i'm exploiting the local population.
Everyone i passed on the road just stared. I tried the nod. I tried the wave. I tried "buenas". Nobody gave a shit. They just stared at me like they hated me. I don't blame them. This supposed protected natural area is being subdivided and bought up by foreigners. It must be by foreigners, because all the for sale signs are in English, with advertising that makes it very clear you gotta move fast to get your spot in paradise.
And, of course, if you look on Workaway or other work exchange/volunteer websites for Panama it's all foreigners who bought property here wanting to build some kind of eco-hostel or yoga retreat or whatever, and they want other foreign tourists to come over and work for them, for free, to help build their "sustainable" business.
If i was a local person from this island i'd be pissed too.
Like, at least if it's a fucking million dollar hotel resort everyone knows what the deal is. Fucking big business, corporate bullshit, capitalism sucks bla bla bla. But these probably very po-faced, earnest hippies think they are doing some kind of local eco-business, when in reality they're just colonizers 2.0. Wake me up when these expats start working for locally owned businesses instead of starting businesses and having locals work for them.
Anyway, i got back to town and returned the bike, and now i'm at one of the waterfront nightclubs in town. It's just a wooden platform on stilts, corrugated plastic roof, right on the waterfront. It's an awesome club setup, exactly the kind of vibe i like. Of course they play commercial-ass hip-hop music, but i didn't expect any different. It opened just before sunset and i am the only one here, because everyone shows up much later. I will be back in my bed before the hordes show up. I much prefer nightclubs at opening. Lots of room to move, and you can really appreciate the decor and lighting in ways that you can't when it's elbow to elbow.
Also, less COVID.
Anyway. Today i discovered (although i suppose i already knew) that Bocas has some gorgeous scenery for that beach bum vibe. But it's not for me. I can't deal with this whole expat shit. Tourist towns, okay, but this place just makes me feel like a colonizer, and that's a shitty feeling. I guess all the other foreigners here don't feel it, so that makes me wonder what the fuck they do feel. Cheap beer! Black people serving me! Hooray!
Sigh.
I think i think too much. Why can't i just enjoy what it is?
So i checked into my hostel and there was someone at the breakfast bar complaining that she walked to every hostel in town and couldn't find work at any of them. Like, you're traveling in what is clearly a poor part of the country, where every business caters primarily to moneyed tourists, and you're just expecting to find work at the drop of a hat, so you don't have to pay for your accommodation, which is already relatively cheap... How do people travel like this and keep their self-respect? It's not quite begpacking, but it feels really privileged to just expect to be able to do a bit of front desk or tend bar in exchange for room and board, then fly home to your comfortable first world country, leaving the real poverty behind. (The cleaners are local, of course.)
My first impressions of this town are not good. It seems almost every hostel and restaurant is owned by an expat. I get that expats "understand" what tourists enjoy (apparently that is yoga, surfing, snorkeling, diving, tacos and "bowls"), but it doesn't feel like the money is funneling in the right direction, when there are local people living in literal shacks on the back streets. It doesn't seem to me that half these restaurants could be affordable for a local person, at least compared to the prices in working class cafeterias and bars in Panama City. And the people here are surely poorer than those in Panama City. Maybe i need to do a bit more exploring, but it doesn't feel like most of the places in town are places where local people go to relax and enjoy themselves. That's completely turned me off my dream of drinking booze out of a coconut on the beach, and instead i just bought a couple beers at the (Chinese migrant-operated) supermarket and am now back in the hostel planning to eat some more out of my Ursack. But less interesting eating than it would've been if i'd done the same in Panama City, where the supermarkets had far more varied food options. Oh, and the Dutch foreigner working at reception of the hostel is playing Dutch hip-hop, so i am practicing my Dutch listening comprehension and not my Spanish listening comprehension, which might be useful if i was going to Curaçao next, but probably not since their local language is Papiamento.
What i could do is adjust my expectation and just live here for a week while i do the stuff i said i was going to do elsewhere but didn't, that is write to my non-LiveJournal-reading family and friends to let them know where i am, and expand my travel insurance outside of the US. I got internet, and a comfortable big common area where i can plug in and do plenty of writing. Kitchen if i want to cook something, although it's not really worth it with the ingredients in the stores. The weather will be raining all week, but it's nice and warm. Bonus if i also take some Spanish lessons, i suppose, although i feel a bit douchey doing it at a school that appears to be owned by expats.
I guess i will go make a tortilla with some peanuts in it. And a banana.
-o-
Breakfast in the hostel was drip coffee and banana pancakes. Fuck. I never wanted to do this, but somehow i ended up on the Latin American version of the banana pancake trail. It is the fucking worst.
Overheard in the hostel... "Oh i wonder if i should start drinking Panama beer instead of a good one", "yuck, i'm not in the slightest bit curious about that". "I just came from traveling in Sweden, go to the shop, avocado is the same price as it was in Lapland, how is that possible?" "I can go into the jungle, cut a banana off the tree for free, but in the shop it's same price as Europe." Italians, Swiss, Danes, Dutch. "Are you a Dutchie too, you are so tall!" White people with dreadlocks, saris and ॐ tattoos. That's the older ones. The rest are bright-eyed and bushy-tailed youngsters who look like babies to me, although they are proud to be 20 or 21. "This is the first time i left Europe!" "You too?" "I'd rather have corona on the beach in Costa Rica than back home."
Admittedly i did meet two white collar workers who were doing a couple days a week of remote work out of the hostel and then living the hashtag vagabond whatever life for the rest of the week. That's a lifestyle i could also set up for myself, but then it would ruin the sense that i am traveling. Knowing i have to show up at a certain time for my daily standup, fuck, i might as well not be traveling at all if i can't make my own pace. And i really don't need to talk about Java 17 on my fucking holiday, man.
And that's the infuriating thing about this environment. I don't theoretically have anything against white people with dreads. Hell, most of these people are exactly the sort who have made up my friends group in the past. Pretty much everyone i know has "done" Southeast Asia or Central and South America at some point in their lives. They all bummed around with backpacks and stayed at hostels and drank a lot of booze or did yoga and paid tourist money for spiritual retreats or mountain hikes. I suppose these are "my people". But what's the point of traveling just to hang out with people who are pretty much the same as i who i would hang with in a city where i work?
I walked into town where yesterday i had scouted a cheap "home-cooked" food place (pancakes, pizza, burgers, fried chicken) that had an espresso machine. I had seen the sign for $1 coffee. Unfortunately i didn't read on and see that drip coffee was the dollar and espresso was $2.50. That's Northern Europe prices! Even in Italy it's only a euro. In Panama City you get an espresso for 75 cents and an americano for a dollar. This is nuts. I don't believe that markup is solely the cost of shipping a bag of espresso beans across from the mainland. For fuck's sake, they grow coffee here. And yet, it wasn't even a good coffee.
This place sucks. I guess people come here for the surfing and diving and kayaking and beach-sitting, but all of that costs money. (Maybe not the beach-sitting.) I could rent a bike and go cycle up to the other end of the island and try ignore the fact i am surrounded by tourists but what's the point? I'll just meet more tourists out there trying to do the same thing, or locals trying to sell me shit because tourists are just the local version of an ATM. Better to stay in the hostel and focus on my "work", which is composing an update email to my family and friends, and then planning where i will go next.
I need to get off this fucking gringo trail. I need to go somewhere that actually has a real local economy, not a place that only exists to be an "authentic", "eco-friendly" holiday destination for jetsetting Europeans.
-o-
I tried again. After writing a family and friends update mail that tried and probably failed to capture the last 3-4 months of travel, i headed back into town. Got people trying to get me to eat at their restaurants, all telling me it's "authentic" Panamanian food. There's nobody at any of the restaurants, either because the tour boats haven't come back yet, or tourists don't eat at 5:30pm like my geriatric ass, or the peak season hasn't hit yet, or COVID, or whatever.
Back in the hostel, my Icelandic digital nomad roommate remarked on me spending the whole day inside. I mean, it was pissing down with rain till the early afternoon, but it's a fair comment. Apparently it takes me the better part of a day to write an email, which is why i've been putting it off for so long.
-o-
Ah, i got sidetracked by my meal. Which sucked. I walked past a half dozen restaurants, and picked one which seemed least obnoxious. You basically just ordered whatever meat you wanted and got a plate. The meat wasn't in some kind of interesting stew or special preparation, you could just get fried, grilled, BBQ sauce or onions. Pick your side, i chose fried yucca. It was just a normal pork chop like you could get at any cafeteria anywhere in the world, no interesting spices or sauces. I mean, it's food that keeps you alive. But it's not food i would pay for normally, especially not as much as i did.
Anyway, i wanted to complain a bit more about being seen as a walking ATM. I don't mind hawkers when they hawk to everyone, but i hate it when they single out foreigners/gringos/tourists and try extract money from them. I had one dude try sell me pot, "hey, friend, good weed". Nah, bro. Even if i did like pot, i wouldn't buy it from some rando on the goddamn streets in another country where it's illegal. Why even ask me? I wasn't walking around with some fuckin stupid stoner T-shirt on or whatever. I guess people do end up buying from him, though, or he wouldn't try it on. Thanks, stoner tourists, for contributing to this dumb fucking economy.
I hate this shit. I hate that i can't have a real conversation with anyone. When everyone sees you as a mark, you can't have a normal relationship. I don't mind waiter/diner relationship, i don't mind bartender/barfly, clerk/customer, teacher/student - they're voluntary contracts you both entered into. But i do mind this weird vibe where random people you meet on the street immediately construct a relationship where you are a potential source of income. People should be able to have an honest relationship even if there is a wealth or income imbalance. Even if the relationship is just "you rich gentrifying asshole, get the fuck out of my country", at least it would be honest. But fake friendliness to try get money, it just makes me sick.
Incidentally, this is also something i hate about American tip culture. All the servers emotionally fellate you, but it's fake because they're only doing it to get a bigger tip. If there were no tips, the contract would be clear. Serve me my food. The end. Then at least if someone shows a bit of personal attention i feel like it's meaningful and not just some kind of bullshit act to extract as much cash from me as possible.
Capitalism is fucking disgusting.
I messaged my friend R about my dismay at this horrible social structure that exists here, and she's like "i think everywhere in the Caribbean is like that". Really? Because, then, fuck the Caribbean. It's not like i have a problem with tourist towns, in fact i find them quite fun to visit - especially on the off season. But i do have a problem with very evident income imbalance, where there is basically no local economy, no town at all without the tourists. But the people raking in the cash are expat business owners and not local people. And the nerve of these places to pretend they are doing "ecotourism" or whatever. Give me a break. Glad y'all got a composting bin and no hot water, but that doesn't make you some kind of "off-grid" or "sustainable" trailblazer, it just makes you a normal fucking business in a poor region of the tropics. It feels like greenwashed colonialism. Ugh, i am getting angry again just typing it out.
I should go to bed. One more day here, then i am out. If it's not raining buckets perhaps i will rent a bike and cycle up the island. But spending any money here just gives me a bad taste in my mouth.
-o-
I rented a bike. I rode up to the top end of the eastern side of the island and hung my new hammock between a coconut tree and another type of tree that won't drop a heavy fruit on my head. It is relaxing. Either because it's early, or because it's overcast/drizzling, there is nobody else up here. I passed some meditating guy and a few surfers further down the beach, just next to one of the beachfront resorts.
There are a lot of beachfront resorts. These spots charge far more than i am willing to pay per night, and presumably they are a bit more luxurious than my hostel - private rooms, hot water perhaps.
I am a little unsure of how high the water is going to get. The surf here is awesome, much more epic than the piddling surf in Miami or the barely-even-qualifies-as-a-wave on the Gulf Coast. The foam is spraying up higher than a person. It gives me that slightly scared feeling that i used to get on the beaches in New Zealand. Like if you go in alone you could be washed out to sea so you better be a badass swimmer to even think about it. It's the kind of spot that makes you respect the ocean. And, thus, also worry about how high it's going to get and if you'll be stuck in a hammock under a coconut tree come high tide at 3:13pm.
Well, i'll probably leave before that because i forgot to put food in my bag. I was thinking of cycling up to the other beach as well, which is about 15km from town. Wouldn't think twice about it on a serious bike, but this is a cruiser with only one gear and pedal backwards to brake. Also the roads are pretty rugged when you get off the sealed section around town. I suppose i did some adventures like this on share bikes in China, so i can probably do it, but i'll see how i feel.
I do admit, lying here in a hammock on a quiet section of the beach with epic waves smashing ashore is a pretty cool feeling. It's way less depressing than the town area where it feels like the only thing to do is spend money on tours and "activities" and whatnot. Coming out here with a bottle of rum and some limes, dusting off my Kindle app, that'd be an alright way to spend a few days. On the other hand, perhaps there are better beaches to do this where i don't feel so surrounded by foreigners. Maybe on the mainland where perhaps there are more local tourists?
I dunno, i think one of my problems is i always like the idea of sitting around like a bum all day more than the reality of it. Bike touring showed me that actually i enjoy passing through a place a lot more than i enjoy staying in it.
-o-
To wit: the moment the first wave crested the sand bar i was swinging behind, i packed up. I probably could've hung another hour without getting stranded, but i was ready for a new bit of scenery. Amusingly, when i rounded the mangrove i came across a couple who were sunbathing on the sand bar and would shortly be getting a nasty surprise.
On my way back to the town i passed a lot of people heading up the beach where i just came. You know. Sun came out. Afternoon. Hangover gone. Whatevs. I headed back to the first little grocery store and bought some expired and slightly moldy coconut buns, plantain chips, water, soursop juice and peanuts. Then i headed up the hill to the other beach.
That ride to the other beach was a good one. It went up and down the hills and through the jungle. It reminded me of my best rides and hikes in Taiwan and less developed areas of southern China. Every now and then a minibus zoomed past, but there weren't many people heading up there overland (most tourists take the water taxi).
I popped out at the other end about an hour later, then walked my bike on the narrow hiking trail to the beach. The trail went right along the waterfront and featured several eroded bits that you needed to wade through. When i got out of the jungly waterfront there was an adorable little beach with a bunch of huts serving up expensive alcohol and food to the tourists who either made the trek or floated their way over on a water taxi.
It was super chill. Sitting in a hut on the beach drinking a caipirinha, i could almost forget the weird vibe of the town just down the road. Except for there was a fancy catamaran floating just off the beach and a bunch of obnoxious Americans sitting around being obnoxious. But there were a couple Spanish-speaking tourists too, so at least i didn't feel like it was all English, French and Dutch.
I got a quick, expensive bite, then went back to my caipi guy to tell him he was the best hut on the beach and could he make me another one.
But there was no smiling. I just mentioned in the previous snippet that i hate when American servers pull out the fake smiles for tips. But when servers don't smile at all and look like they pretty much hate their jobs, then it makes me feel even more like i'm exploiting the local population.
Everyone i passed on the road just stared. I tried the nod. I tried the wave. I tried "buenas". Nobody gave a shit. They just stared at me like they hated me. I don't blame them. This supposed protected natural area is being subdivided and bought up by foreigners. It must be by foreigners, because all the for sale signs are in English, with advertising that makes it very clear you gotta move fast to get your spot in paradise.
And, of course, if you look on Workaway or other work exchange/volunteer websites for Panama it's all foreigners who bought property here wanting to build some kind of eco-hostel or yoga retreat or whatever, and they want other foreign tourists to come over and work for them, for free, to help build their "sustainable" business.
If i was a local person from this island i'd be pissed too.
Like, at least if it's a fucking million dollar hotel resort everyone knows what the deal is. Fucking big business, corporate bullshit, capitalism sucks bla bla bla. But these probably very po-faced, earnest hippies think they are doing some kind of local eco-business, when in reality they're just colonizers 2.0. Wake me up when these expats start working for locally owned businesses instead of starting businesses and having locals work for them.
Anyway, i got back to town and returned the bike, and now i'm at one of the waterfront nightclubs in town. It's just a wooden platform on stilts, corrugated plastic roof, right on the waterfront. It's an awesome club setup, exactly the kind of vibe i like. Of course they play commercial-ass hip-hop music, but i didn't expect any different. It opened just before sunset and i am the only one here, because everyone shows up much later. I will be back in my bed before the hordes show up. I much prefer nightclubs at opening. Lots of room to move, and you can really appreciate the decor and lighting in ways that you can't when it's elbow to elbow.
Also, less COVID.
Anyway. Today i discovered (although i suppose i already knew) that Bocas has some gorgeous scenery for that beach bum vibe. But it's not for me. I can't deal with this whole expat shit. Tourist towns, okay, but this place just makes me feel like a colonizer, and that's a shitty feeling. I guess all the other foreigners here don't feel it, so that makes me wonder what the fuck they do feel. Cheap beer! Black people serving me! Hooray!
Sigh.
I think i think too much. Why can't i just enjoy what it is?