the trans community is bullshit

[amw]

Except... it isn't quite bullshit.

I am done being trans. Being trans was so fucking 20 years ago. I decided i wanted to be a girl, i did my transition, i got my surgery, the fucking end, i'm done with being trans.

Except, i suppose, you're never really done, are you?

Last month was Pride month, and my oldest friend jenndolari answered a whole month of

Comments

[spiffikins]

It should just be some cosmetic surgery that you do and nobody should give a fuck because gender is stupid.

Hear, Hear! I totally agree! Gender is stupid. Just a person, try to be a good person - with the interests and preferences that you, as an individual, have. I'm just...me. I don't like makeup or pink or 99% of the things categorized as "female" - and I don't like sports or beer or most of the "manly" things either.

I like reading fantasy and sci-fi and silly romance novels. I like wearing comfy clothes and shoes, and painting my toenails occasionally. I like having my hair cut super short (pandemic cut!) and occasionally wearing earrings, but mostly can't be bothered. I like art and music and good food. I like playing with technology and writing code and petting dogs and cats. None of these things should be "girls" or "boys" things? They are all awesome things.

[amw]

Agree! I think a lot of modern people are fairly open to the idea of gender expectations being dismantled. We are definitely living in a time (in most richer countries of the world, at least) where "men" and "women" have a lot more freedom in how they choose to present and what they choose to do with their lives. I think that's great. But obviously there is still a lot of our society that is structured around this segregation of people by "gender" or "sex" or whatever you want to call it. Even just the existence of homosexuality or heterosexuality as concepts reifies these categories

[geminiwench]

I am not this hair,
I am not this skin,
I am the soul that lives within

Rumi, yo!

[resindoll]

agree. you're a whole person. those can't be fully described as a combination of traits.

and i think philosophy tube is great too

[anais_pf]

I hope you are feeling better by the time you read this.

[amw]

Yesterday was kind of worse, but i think things are settling down again, finally. I am an emotional basketcase.

[jenndolari]

It never gets easier. Sometimes it gets better. But never easier. ❤️

[amw]

I think it goes in waves, like there is a "gender euphoria" or sense of relief when you first start transition... then there is another one when you first start to pass (or at least got accepted as your chosen gender by someone)... then there is another one if/when you get surgery... but these just feel like treatments to me, not a cure.

Maybe for some people they can just put a bow on it at that point and say it's over, but for me it never really got rid of my root discomfort around gender in general. Like, i know i'm aesthetically and hormonally happier with bottom surgery, despite the minor inconvenience when peeing. But i'm still bitter that society structures itself around whether people were born with (or now have) a penis or a vagina in the first place. And it doesn't matter if i reject that binary personally, because it's not my choice, it's society's choice. So in the end it doesn't matter what i do, i'm still going to be forced into performing one thing or the other, and that is what creates the dysphoria for me, i think.