an untitled meme
I've been feeling a bit out of sorts this week and i'm not sure why. The weather is okay. I'm not eating any different. I've been sleeping normal hours. But it's like my brain is lethargic. I can't put a sensible thought together, i can't even focus on music. It's like... like the days when you wake up with a bad hangover, or the days of travel with no coffee.
Not much to do i suppose. Here is a meme i got from anais_pf.
1. Museum date or aquarium date? Why?
I don't think animals should be kept in captivity, so museum.
2. Describe your favorite type of weather.
The most important thing for me is sun. Temperature should be warm enough i can wear pants and a tank top. Don't care humid or not, but somewhere in the middle is probably best. Just enough wind to cool off the sweat. Not enough to make walking a pain.
3. Name a subject/topic you know a lot about.
I know a little about a lot of things, but i'm not sure i know a lot about anything.
4. Do you have any friends or know anyone with the same name as you?
I can't think of any off the top of my head, but i probably do and forgot.
5. What’s something most people love that you hate?
Babies.
6. Who knows the most about you personally?
My friends here on LJ.
7. If you could create ANY mix-up or mythical animal and have it be brought to life, what would it be?
I'd like to bring back animals we killed off during the holocene. Stuff like the dodo, the moa, Tasmanian tiger, that sort of thing.
8. Do you think everyone in our lives serves a purpose, or are some people just there?
I think everyone's just here. I don't think any of us have any particular purpose, it's just how the random chemical reactions splattered us all out. But i think we can choose to make a purpose, and i think it's healthy to do that.
9. How do you feel about getting your picture taken?
I don't really mind if it's a quick snap. I absolutely hate it if it's some posed group thing, especially for work.
10. Any guilty pleasure/s?
Watching wrestling? Playing computer games? I don't know, i'm not really guilty about them.
11. What is your favorite Studio Ghibli film and why?
Never seen one.
12. Do you always make eye contact with people when you’re speaking to them?
No. I rarely make eye contact with anyone. I have to force myself to do it when i'm in a job interview or something. Usually i just stare out into space.
13. Have you ever self-harmed?
Yes.
14. What’s the nicest compliment you’ve ever been given?
I don't really remember.
15. Have you felt butterflies in your stomach today?
No.
16. Did anyone/anything get on your nerves today?
No.
17. Is there something you currently want, that you can’t have?
I want coronavirus to go away and all the borders to open again.
18. Who was the last person to make you feel embarrassed or uncomfortable?
My landlord put me on the spot the other day when she asked me something weird. Like... i'm not sure what she was asking. I think she was fishing for a compliment, but i wasn't sure what she wanted me to say so it ended up really awkward.
19. Think of the last film you watched. Who was your favorite character in it?
I don't remember the last film i watched. I very rarely watch movies.
20. What are you known for?
I'm not really sure how other people see me, but i suspect that outside of work i am known for being someone who hardly ever replies to email, text messages and so on. Perhaps a bit of a loner.
21. What is something you are skeptical about?
Capitalism.
22. If you have a job, do you prefer morning shifts or evening shifts?
I prefer no shifts. But if forced to pick i suppose evening would be better so at least i could sleep in. It takes me hours to get out of bed every day, and i am always in a foul mood if i am forced to interact with people before i had that buffer period.
23. What is something you are most confident about?
I dunno. Science? Physics?
How about something you're really insecure about?
I always feel extremely uncomfortable when i am forced to go to like... events. Family stuff, friend stuff, work parties, weddings, anniversaries, Skype dates, holiday dinners - i stress out about it for days or weeks beforehand and it takes at least as long to recover, even if i had a good time. I have no problem meeting strangers or talking to random people on the spur of the moment. It's the planned socialization with friends or acquaintances that destroys me. Maybe it's just plans in general that make me insecure?
24. What do you think in general of girls with short hair? How about guys with long hair?
Girls with short hair are great, guys with long hair are great. Everyone should have whatever hair makes them happy.
25. With films in languages you do not speak, do you prefer a dub or a subtitle?
Subtitle.
26. If you wear makeup, what are your preferred brands?
I haven't worn makeup in a very long time. But i moisturize with Vaseline aloe vera cream.
27. What part of a person's body do you usually find the most attractive?
I don't really look at other people like that any more. Somewhere along the way it seems i have become asexual.
28. What/which music are you currently listening to?
Nothing.
29. Do you find smoking unattractive?
No.
30. What was the last thing you looked up on Google?
I don't use Google, i use Bing. The last thing i looked up was the name of the brand of aloe vera cream i use.
31. What is the 10th picture in your phone gallery?
It's a selfie. I will post it (or something similar) on my next entry where i write something useful.
32. Would you ever dye your hair an unnatural color?
Sure, why not?
33. What job would you be terrible at and what job would you be good at?
I think that when i put my brain into work mode i can do any job i set my mind to. I mean, you just learn it, you do it, right? Every job is fundamentally awful so you have to force yourself through the shit till you earn enough you can quit again. That said, jobs where you have to interact with terrible people (in my experience usually that's colleagues) are a whole nother level of awful. So the less terrible the people, the "better" i would probably do, if "better" is measured by not quitting in disgust.
34. Do you think forgiveness is mandatory to move on from something?
Of course not. Forgetting is way easier.
35. What did you think was cool when you were younger?
Ripped jeans. They're really not.
36. Is there a place that makes you sad to return to?
I think most places where i have been before make me sad to return to again. Not like crying sad, but just... "huh how things have changed" sad.
37. What's the best advice anyone has ever given you?
Not really sure. I do remember a musician telling me that once you release a song, it's not yours any more, people will interpret it however they want and there is nothing you can do about that. Also, that the whole point of releasing something is that it is for other people, so there's no point in sharing your thing if it's inaccessible. Basically he was saying don't be a pretentious twat, although i didn't understand it at the time. I think that's useful to remember for everything you put out in the world, not just art.
38. Have you ever treated someone badly just because someone else treated you badly?
Oh, i am very sure i have. I'm sure most people have. Maybe not deliberately, but definitely subconsciously. That's why it's so important to not treat people badly in the first place, it has a domino effect.
39. What's your favorite lyric from your favorite song right now?
I don't listen to songs with lyrics much. I played a fair bit of the computer game Where The Water Tastes Like Wine lately. There's a song in that called Vagrant Song, which opens like this:
Well i'm gonna scrawl my name
On the bare bones of the earth
I'm gonna dig my heels
Into the ground
'Cause when that ferryman comes
For to tally up my worth
I won't leave much to find
That can be found
40. What was the last thing that completely took your breath away?
Oh, God, it was spectacular. It was just while the forest fires were burning in Cali and Oregon, the sun had set and i looked over to the mountain and saw an incredible orange, throbbing glow on the horizon. I was convinced there was a fire, just up on the hill. As i watched, it grew bigger and more intense. Then, within a few minutes, it became a curve, then an arc... It was a moonrise! I don't think i have ever seen a moonrise before, definitely not one so bright, so isolated against a rural, unlit sky of pitch. It was awesome.
41. Is it true that if you can't love yourself, you can't love another?
I definitely believe that to be true.
42. What's the most positive thing you could say to yourself right now?
At least i'm not dead. And i can afford a warm bed.
43. What time of the day feels the most magical to you?
That golden hour just before the sun sets.
44. Were you a cute baby?
All babies are pudgy, squishy and filthy.
45. Is there something you wish you had said sorry for, but never did?
Oh, i'm sure there are lots of things i should have said sorry for and didn't. But i've forgotten them by now.
46. What is any creative talent you wish you had?
I wish i had the motivation or drive to be an "entrepreneur" or something. Like really, truly come up with something new and try to push that as a thing that would make society better. But i don't have the motivation, i just kinda float through life hoping something will rub off and make someone smile.
47. Do you think you'd make a good teacher? Why or why not?
I think i could make a good teacher for the same reason i think i could do any other job i set my mind to. But also, most children are terrible people so i would probably quit before i got to the point of being good. I am fairly patient and supportive with people i am mentoring, though, as long as they actually want to learn the thing.
48. Do you think it's possible to fix a "broken" relationship?
Sure. I just don't think it's worth the effort in most cases.
49. If you chose to get a tattoo what would it be and where would you want it?
I have several tattoos. I like them, they remind me of moments in life i would otherwise have forgotten. I like them to be all black. I do not like them on legs. Tattooed legs kinda creep me out for some reason.
50. When was the last time you stayed up past midnight and what were you up to?
I am usually up past midnight every night, or just around midnight is when i turn off the lights. This week it was probably watching election returns on Tuesday.
Not much to do i suppose. Here is a meme i got from anais_pf.
1. Museum date or aquarium date? Why?
I don't think animals should be kept in captivity, so museum.
2. Describe your favorite type of weather.
The most important thing for me is sun. Temperature should be warm enough i can wear pants and a tank top. Don't care humid or not, but somewhere in the middle is probably best. Just enough wind to cool off the sweat. Not enough to make walking a pain.
3. Name a subject/topic you know a lot about.
I know a little about a lot of things, but i'm not sure i know a lot about anything.
4. Do you have any friends or know anyone with the same name as you?
I can't think of any off the top of my head, but i probably do and forgot.
5. What’s something most people love that you hate?
Babies.
6. Who knows the most about you personally?
My friends here on LJ.
7. If you could create ANY mix-up or mythical animal and have it be brought to life, what would it be?
I'd like to bring back animals we killed off during the holocene. Stuff like the dodo, the moa, Tasmanian tiger, that sort of thing.
8. Do you think everyone in our lives serves a purpose, or are some people just there?
I think everyone's just here. I don't think any of us have any particular purpose, it's just how the random chemical reactions splattered us all out. But i think we can choose to make a purpose, and i think it's healthy to do that.
9. How do you feel about getting your picture taken?
I don't really mind if it's a quick snap. I absolutely hate it if it's some posed group thing, especially for work.
10. Any guilty pleasure/s?
Watching wrestling? Playing computer games? I don't know, i'm not really guilty about them.
11. What is your favorite Studio Ghibli film and why?
Never seen one.
12. Do you always make eye contact with people when you’re speaking to them?
No. I rarely make eye contact with anyone. I have to force myself to do it when i'm in a job interview or something. Usually i just stare out into space.
13. Have you ever self-harmed?
Yes.
14. What’s the nicest compliment you’ve ever been given?
I don't really remember.
15. Have you felt butterflies in your stomach today?
No.
16. Did anyone/anything get on your nerves today?
No.
17. Is there something you currently want, that you can’t have?
I want coronavirus to go away and all the borders to open again.
18. Who was the last person to make you feel embarrassed or uncomfortable?
My landlord put me on the spot the other day when she asked me something weird. Like... i'm not sure what she was asking. I think she was fishing for a compliment, but i wasn't sure what she wanted me to say so it ended up really awkward.
19. Think of the last film you watched. Who was your favorite character in it?
I don't remember the last film i watched. I very rarely watch movies.
20. What are you known for?
I'm not really sure how other people see me, but i suspect that outside of work i am known for being someone who hardly ever replies to email, text messages and so on. Perhaps a bit of a loner.
21. What is something you are skeptical about?
Capitalism.
22. If you have a job, do you prefer morning shifts or evening shifts?
I prefer no shifts. But if forced to pick i suppose evening would be better so at least i could sleep in. It takes me hours to get out of bed every day, and i am always in a foul mood if i am forced to interact with people before i had that buffer period.
23. What is something you are most confident about?
I dunno. Science? Physics?
How about something you're really insecure about?
I always feel extremely uncomfortable when i am forced to go to like... events. Family stuff, friend stuff, work parties, weddings, anniversaries, Skype dates, holiday dinners - i stress out about it for days or weeks beforehand and it takes at least as long to recover, even if i had a good time. I have no problem meeting strangers or talking to random people on the spur of the moment. It's the planned socialization with friends or acquaintances that destroys me. Maybe it's just plans in general that make me insecure?
24. What do you think in general of girls with short hair? How about guys with long hair?
Girls with short hair are great, guys with long hair are great. Everyone should have whatever hair makes them happy.
25. With films in languages you do not speak, do you prefer a dub or a subtitle?
Subtitle.
26. If you wear makeup, what are your preferred brands?
I haven't worn makeup in a very long time. But i moisturize with Vaseline aloe vera cream.
27. What part of a person's body do you usually find the most attractive?
I don't really look at other people like that any more. Somewhere along the way it seems i have become asexual.
28. What/which music are you currently listening to?
Nothing.
29. Do you find smoking unattractive?
No.
30. What was the last thing you looked up on Google?
I don't use Google, i use Bing. The last thing i looked up was the name of the brand of aloe vera cream i use.
31. What is the 10th picture in your phone gallery?
It's a selfie. I will post it (or something similar) on my next entry where i write something useful.
32. Would you ever dye your hair an unnatural color?
Sure, why not?
33. What job would you be terrible at and what job would you be good at?
I think that when i put my brain into work mode i can do any job i set my mind to. I mean, you just learn it, you do it, right? Every job is fundamentally awful so you have to force yourself through the shit till you earn enough you can quit again. That said, jobs where you have to interact with terrible people (in my experience usually that's colleagues) are a whole nother level of awful. So the less terrible the people, the "better" i would probably do, if "better" is measured by not quitting in disgust.
34. Do you think forgiveness is mandatory to move on from something?
Of course not. Forgetting is way easier.
35. What did you think was cool when you were younger?
Ripped jeans. They're really not.
36. Is there a place that makes you sad to return to?
I think most places where i have been before make me sad to return to again. Not like crying sad, but just... "huh how things have changed" sad.
37. What's the best advice anyone has ever given you?
Not really sure. I do remember a musician telling me that once you release a song, it's not yours any more, people will interpret it however they want and there is nothing you can do about that. Also, that the whole point of releasing something is that it is for other people, so there's no point in sharing your thing if it's inaccessible. Basically he was saying don't be a pretentious twat, although i didn't understand it at the time. I think that's useful to remember for everything you put out in the world, not just art.
38. Have you ever treated someone badly just because someone else treated you badly?
Oh, i am very sure i have. I'm sure most people have. Maybe not deliberately, but definitely subconsciously. That's why it's so important to not treat people badly in the first place, it has a domino effect.
39. What's your favorite lyric from your favorite song right now?
I don't listen to songs with lyrics much. I played a fair bit of the computer game Where The Water Tastes Like Wine lately. There's a song in that called Vagrant Song, which opens like this:
Well i'm gonna scrawl my name
On the bare bones of the earth
I'm gonna dig my heels
Into the ground
'Cause when that ferryman comes
For to tally up my worth
I won't leave much to find
That can be found
40. What was the last thing that completely took your breath away?
Oh, God, it was spectacular. It was just while the forest fires were burning in Cali and Oregon, the sun had set and i looked over to the mountain and saw an incredible orange, throbbing glow on the horizon. I was convinced there was a fire, just up on the hill. As i watched, it grew bigger and more intense. Then, within a few minutes, it became a curve, then an arc... It was a moonrise! I don't think i have ever seen a moonrise before, definitely not one so bright, so isolated against a rural, unlit sky of pitch. It was awesome.
41. Is it true that if you can't love yourself, you can't love another?
I definitely believe that to be true.
42. What's the most positive thing you could say to yourself right now?
At least i'm not dead. And i can afford a warm bed.
43. What time of the day feels the most magical to you?
That golden hour just before the sun sets.
44. Were you a cute baby?
All babies are pudgy, squishy and filthy.
45. Is there something you wish you had said sorry for, but never did?
Oh, i'm sure there are lots of things i should have said sorry for and didn't. But i've forgotten them by now.
46. What is any creative talent you wish you had?
I wish i had the motivation or drive to be an "entrepreneur" or something. Like really, truly come up with something new and try to push that as a thing that would make society better. But i don't have the motivation, i just kinda float through life hoping something will rub off and make someone smile.
47. Do you think you'd make a good teacher? Why or why not?
I think i could make a good teacher for the same reason i think i could do any other job i set my mind to. But also, most children are terrible people so i would probably quit before i got to the point of being good. I am fairly patient and supportive with people i am mentoring, though, as long as they actually want to learn the thing.
48. Do you think it's possible to fix a "broken" relationship?
Sure. I just don't think it's worth the effort in most cases.
49. If you chose to get a tattoo what would it be and where would you want it?
I have several tattoos. I like them, they remind me of moments in life i would otherwise have forgotten. I like them to be all black. I do not like them on legs. Tattooed legs kinda creep me out for some reason.
50. When was the last time you stayed up past midnight and what were you up to?
I am usually up past midnight every night, or just around midnight is when i turn off the lights. This week it was probably watching election returns on Tuesday.