U. Tampa MFA in Writing June '14 Residency -- Quotes
Steve: “We still have time to lie to each other, as writers do.”
Steve: “Who’s counting? Besides the provost. A little academic humor for you.”
Marla: “You get 400 million hits, which I thought was a little more than I wanted.” (searching on Google)
Marla: “I’m doing reports right now, so I’d love to chat.”
Steve: “'The world doesn’t give a shit about your book.’ That doesn’t really motivate you….?”
Steve: "As my lovely colleague Erica Dawson often says, ‘it’s school.’”
Steve: “They want to be the first woman president-slash-butterfly hunter, which is where my daughter is headed.”
Steve: “See, I started out on the bad cop stuff, and went back to the positive. What the hell is wrong with me?"
Steve: “That’s the secret: keep your ass in the chair.”
Steve: "I think most of you are reasonably sentient individuals."
Steve: "We come with our own theme music."
"...closing out the bald guys..." (first-termer introducing himself)
Steve: "...guess some of us could have consciences that aren't unified."
Steve: "...if you have someone who is susceptible to your charm..." (about choosing a second reader)
Steve: "Do do okay as a writer."
Steve: "I read a lot of legislation as a kid, 'cause I was just that weird."
Steve: "Read weirdly."
Steve: "I can joke about tailoring & terrorists all afternoon.”
Steve: “Please make sure to sign in so I can chastise you or praise you appropriately. ”
David (Kirby): "...or you can supply me with the answers and I'll ask the questions."
David: "I know that some of you ladies have Led Zeppelin tattoos in places that can't be seen."
David: "These aren't the kind of guys who are sitting at home eating their own earwax."
David: "The Big Idea isn't...be nice to old people or pet kitties."
David: "It's hard to kill your children, but I had to."
David: “Nobody’s more impressed with arithmetic and science...than poets.”
David: “You get paid - not enough to make a down-payment on a second boat.” (about book reviewing)
David: “How many people would like an extra $400?”
David: “‘I saw this in the Wall Street Journal. I think you’ll like it.’ ‘I do like it. I wrote it.’”
Josip: "I think a world without nightmares would be a nightmare. What kind of world would that be?"
Josip: "You can ride a double hump more easily."
Josip: "If you have to suffer beauty a hundred pages, it gets boring."
Josip: "'I'm looking for my voice.'" 'What the fuck? You already have your voice.'"
Josip: "The easiest thing is to have absolutely no standards."
Josip: "In real life, you know nobody, and in fiction, you know everybody."
Josip: “What the hell? Drink more coffee and maybe it’ll work.”
Josip: “If you don’t have confidence, the second best thing is to have arrogance.”
Barbara (Hamby): “Gosh, there are so many similarities between Elvis and Tolstoy. You weren’t expecting that, right?”
Barbara: “I’m gonna take a robitussin. Don’t judge me.”
Kat Grilli: “I mean, I like the male chest.”
Kat: “Oh, Parker, you’re so old.”
Jess Anthony: "Give yourself permission to feel again."
Jason Ockert: "I can't teach you to suddenly care, Goddammit!"
Jason Ockert: "...those of you who haven't caught frogs lately..."
Jason Ockert: "What have I done to prove to you that I loved you?"
Jason Ockert: "I hope you read the stories in the packet. If you didn't, it'll make me cry."
Jason: “Poets know that scenes are a bunch of bunk.”
Ben Percy: "Why, who barges in but Professor Snape?" (about a scene from "Die Hard")
Ben Percy: "And you can watch this on Youtube. Which I have several times." (about a scene from "Lord of the Rings")
Ben Percy: “If you haven’t seen The Untouchables, you should leave right now…it’s the best kind of artful cheese.”
Ben Percy: “Forget the reuben. Focus on the ninjas.”
Ben Percy: “...the denouement, or, as we say it in Minnesota, ‘de-now-ment.’”
Ben Percy: “I know we struggle with math, as creative writers, but let’s try it for a second.”
Me (Alyssa): “I’m loving all this nerd stuff.”
Mikhail Iossel: "You don't need to not know English to read closely."
Mikhail Iossel: "We all know that everybody dies in the end, right? That's all we know."
Jeff Parker: "...and then we'll do some jumping jacks."
Jeff Parker: "Sometimes you strike gold. Sometimes you hit dirt."
Coe Douglas: “It’s like in the South -- people telling you they like your dress when they really hate it.” (about my novel)
Susan Dickerson: "I feel like I've been feasting on dry crackers."
Don Hosek: "There's actually a technical term for this. It's called 'bad writing.'"
Carmen Giminez-Smith: "What we're bred to do is make bread."
Carmen Giminez-Smith: "Writers are weird. We're bizarre people."
Carmen Giminez-Smith: "They're not putting us in prisons yet, but maybe we need to work harder." (about poets)
Rick Chess: "We also have someone here who's scared shitless."
Rick Chess: "Some of you are probably bored."
Rick Chess: "If you want to go, you can go. I mean, I know you're not supposed to."
Coe Douglas: "I like to feel like a God when I create something."
Jess Anthony: "The nature of art is discernment."
Jess Anthony: "I mean, you're a writer. You've gotta go to a strip club." (to me)
Jared Silva: “….the noun is doing the verb, not in a sexual way.”
Jared: “…when I did, I thought, ‘that’s too much nicotine for a frog.’”
Steve Kistulenz: "We've all made our share of cringe-worthy moments. I'll tell you one of mine. Buy me a Bud Light later."
Ian Stansel: "Does this work?" (about the mic)
Steve: "If you turn it on."
Ian Stansel: "It's not math. Sometimes, you might wish you had gone into math."
Ian Stansel or Marcus Wicker: "I encourage you to write weirdo stories."
Ian Stansel or Marcus Wicker: "Don't drink and submit."
Eni Shomer: “It’s easier to take a pill.”
Enid Shomer: “This is like the pop quiz that has no consequences.”
Enid Shomer: "Are you familiar with the cult of Dionysus? Why would you be?"
Susan Minot or Rick Moody: "It's the most alcoholic, I think" (about a John Cheever story)
Steve: “Who’s counting? Besides the provost. A little academic humor for you.”
Marla: “You get 400 million hits, which I thought was a little more than I wanted.” (searching on Google)
Marla: “I’m doing reports right now, so I’d love to chat.”
Steve: “'The world doesn’t give a shit about your book.’ That doesn’t really motivate you….?”
Steve: "As my lovely colleague Erica Dawson often says, ‘it’s school.’”
Steve: “They want to be the first woman president-slash-butterfly hunter, which is where my daughter is headed.”
Steve: “See, I started out on the bad cop stuff, and went back to the positive. What the hell is wrong with me?"
Steve: “That’s the secret: keep your ass in the chair.”
Steve: "I think most of you are reasonably sentient individuals."
Steve: "We come with our own theme music."
"...closing out the bald guys..." (first-termer introducing himself)
Steve: "...guess some of us could have consciences that aren't unified."
Steve: "...if you have someone who is susceptible to your charm..." (about choosing a second reader)
Steve: "Do do okay as a writer."
Steve: "I read a lot of legislation as a kid, 'cause I was just that weird."
Steve: "Read weirdly."
Steve: "I can joke about tailoring & terrorists all afternoon.”
Steve: “Please make sure to sign in so I can chastise you or praise you appropriately. ”
David (Kirby): "...or you can supply me with the answers and I'll ask the questions."
David: "I know that some of you ladies have Led Zeppelin tattoos in places that can't be seen."
David: "These aren't the kind of guys who are sitting at home eating their own earwax."
David: "The Big Idea isn't...be nice to old people or pet kitties."
David: "It's hard to kill your children, but I had to."
David: “Nobody’s more impressed with arithmetic and science...than poets.”
David: “You get paid - not enough to make a down-payment on a second boat.” (about book reviewing)
David: “How many people would like an extra $400?”
David: “‘I saw this in the Wall Street Journal. I think you’ll like it.’ ‘I do like it. I wrote it.’”
Josip: "I think a world without nightmares would be a nightmare. What kind of world would that be?"
Josip: "You can ride a double hump more easily."
Josip: "If you have to suffer beauty a hundred pages, it gets boring."
Josip: "'I'm looking for my voice.'" 'What the fuck? You already have your voice.'"
Josip: "The easiest thing is to have absolutely no standards."
Josip: "In real life, you know nobody, and in fiction, you know everybody."
Josip: “What the hell? Drink more coffee and maybe it’ll work.”
Josip: “If you don’t have confidence, the second best thing is to have arrogance.”
Barbara (Hamby): “Gosh, there are so many similarities between Elvis and Tolstoy. You weren’t expecting that, right?”
Barbara: “I’m gonna take a robitussin. Don’t judge me.”
Kat Grilli: “I mean, I like the male chest.”
Kat: “Oh, Parker, you’re so old.”
Jess Anthony: "Give yourself permission to feel again."
Jason Ockert: "I can't teach you to suddenly care, Goddammit!"
Jason Ockert: "...those of you who haven't caught frogs lately..."
Jason Ockert: "What have I done to prove to you that I loved you?"
Jason Ockert: "I hope you read the stories in the packet. If you didn't, it'll make me cry."
Jason: “Poets know that scenes are a bunch of bunk.”
Ben Percy: "Why, who barges in but Professor Snape?" (about a scene from "Die Hard")
Ben Percy: "And you can watch this on Youtube. Which I have several times." (about a scene from "Lord of the Rings")
Ben Percy: “If you haven’t seen The Untouchables, you should leave right now…it’s the best kind of artful cheese.”
Ben Percy: “Forget the reuben. Focus on the ninjas.”
Ben Percy: “...the denouement, or, as we say it in Minnesota, ‘de-now-ment.’”
Ben Percy: “I know we struggle with math, as creative writers, but let’s try it for a second.”
Me (Alyssa): “I’m loving all this nerd stuff.”
Mikhail Iossel: "You don't need to not know English to read closely."
Mikhail Iossel: "We all know that everybody dies in the end, right? That's all we know."
Jeff Parker: "...and then we'll do some jumping jacks."
Jeff Parker: "Sometimes you strike gold. Sometimes you hit dirt."
Coe Douglas: “It’s like in the South -- people telling you they like your dress when they really hate it.” (about my novel)
Susan Dickerson: "I feel like I've been feasting on dry crackers."
Don Hosek: "There's actually a technical term for this. It's called 'bad writing.'"
Carmen Giminez-Smith: "What we're bred to do is make bread."
Carmen Giminez-Smith: "Writers are weird. We're bizarre people."
Carmen Giminez-Smith: "They're not putting us in prisons yet, but maybe we need to work harder." (about poets)
Rick Chess: "We also have someone here who's scared shitless."
Rick Chess: "Some of you are probably bored."
Rick Chess: "If you want to go, you can go. I mean, I know you're not supposed to."
Coe Douglas: "I like to feel like a God when I create something."
Jess Anthony: "The nature of art is discernment."
Jess Anthony: "I mean, you're a writer. You've gotta go to a strip club." (to me)
Jared Silva: “….the noun is doing the verb, not in a sexual way.”
Jared: “…when I did, I thought, ‘that’s too much nicotine for a frog.’”
Steve Kistulenz: "We've all made our share of cringe-worthy moments. I'll tell you one of mine. Buy me a Bud Light later."
Ian Stansel: "Does this work?" (about the mic)
Steve: "If you turn it on."
Ian Stansel: "It's not math. Sometimes, you might wish you had gone into math."
Ian Stansel or Marcus Wicker: "I encourage you to write weirdo stories."
Ian Stansel or Marcus Wicker: "Don't drink and submit."
Eni Shomer: “It’s easier to take a pill.”
Enid Shomer: “This is like the pop quiz that has no consequences.”
Enid Shomer: "Are you familiar with the cult of Dionysus? Why would you be?"
Susan Minot or Rick Moody: "It's the most alcoholic, I think" (about a John Cheever story)