2013 American Music Awards: Performance Grades
So, Entertainment Weekly graded the performances at last night's American Music Awards, and I disagree with nearly all of their grades. Yeah. That's what's up.
Miley Cyrus - "Wrecking Ball"
Until recently, many had underestimated the newly-21-year-old Cyrus' vocal talent, instead calling attention to her wild behavior. But, as we so plainly saw when Cyrus performed on Saturday Night Live (while also hosting), when all those theatrics are stripped away, her vocals are quite extraodinary. However, this closing performance would've been fantastic, if it weren't for that creepy, lip-synching kitty behind Cyrus, and her barely-there leotard. Additionally, she missed the entrance to the chorus towards the end of the song.
Grade: B+
TLC ft. Lil Mama - "Waterfalls"
The reappearance of two-thirds of 90's R&B trio TLC -- and their amazing abs -- was unexpected, to say the least, but that's a good, for the most part. Lil Mama took the place of deceased member "Left Eye," rapping a bit sloppily, albeit fitting in with the other two quite nicely. The choreography and costumes seemed 90's-appropriate, though not 21st-century appropriate. Regardless, I'm sure many TLC fans were happy about this surprising reunion.
Grade: B+
Luke Bryan - "That's My Kind of Night"
Oh, that's right. This guy performed. His performance of one of his biggest hits this year is essentially a throwaway: not awful, but not terrific. Though, I do have to admit that he looked pretty good up there, dancing in those jeans.
Grade: B
Lady Gaga ft. R. Kelly - "Do What U Want"
Not nearly as intense as their performance a couple weeks ago on Saturday Night Live, Gaga and R. Kelly (whose real name is Rob, just so you know) teamed up for a story-driven, showy version of their new single. Unfortunately, the song itself is dismal, at best, and even Gaga's attempts at making "do what you want with my body" into something emotional -- her vocal range is impressive, as usual -- fails. The pop queen may me slowly fading into obscurity, but you have to applaud her creativity.
Grade: C+
Kendrick Lamar - "Swimming Pools" & "Poetic Justice"
I'm not sure why the supposed new "king of hip-hop" needed to perform two songs, but it's clear why he's become popular: he doesn't need a huge band to back him up, and his catchy verses sound as clean -- I mean smooth, not without explicit material -- as they do on the radio. Not a hugely memorable performance, but good enough to fit right in with the others. Perhaps the lack of theatrics hurt him, which is why it's not memorable.
Grade: B
A Great Big World & Christina Aguilera - "Say Something"
It's always a happy surprise when a powerhouse vocalist like Christina Aguilera tones down that magnificent instrument of hers to allow her duet partner(s) to share the spotlight. The lead singer of new band A Great Big World sounds sightly like the leader singer of Fun., but perhaps more talented, and the piano chords are beautiful. This mellow ballad may have been too sappy for some, but for me, it was just right.
Grade: A
Jennifer Lopez - Celia Cruz tribute
I realize that there were mostly numerous Spanish speakers watching the show, but as someone who only knows how to ask where the bathroom is and "gracias," I was completely lost in this performance. Granted, the 44-year-old is an incredible dancer, has fierce stage presence, and is probably in better shape than I am, but her vocals have always been sub-par. Even though this was fun to watch, it felt out of place.
Grade: B-
Macklemore & Ryan Lewis ft. Ray Dalton - "Can't Hold Us"
Despite not actually being on the AMA stage -- they were in Miami -- Macklemore & Ryan Lewis managed to bring exuberant amounts of energy to the show. Macklemore's raps were as solid as they were in the original single, and even though his sweat was visible from a distance, you can't help but be drawn to this gay rights-advocating white rapper.
Grade: A-
Rihanna - "Diamonds"
Before her "too cute" [Justin Timberlake's words] mom presented with the first-ever AMA Icon Award, Rihanna wowed with a subtle, yet effective rendition of this 2013 hit. The Barbados-born stunner reminded us that she is, in fact, a great singer, even though I know she could have pushed her voice more. Backed by an orchestra, she truly looked like a star, and her award was much-deserved.
Grade: A-
Florida Georgia Line ft. Nelly - "Cruise"
This was by far the better of the two country performances of the night, though that's not to say it was marvelous. Merely, the new country duo reinforced why "Cruise" [apparently] became the highest-grossing country single of all time, with its cross-genre appeal. Having Nelly join them on this popular, catchy tune, was just icing on the cake, and a throwback to his earlier days -- with "Ride Wit Me" -- was the cherry on top.
Grade: B+
Justin Timberlake - "Drink You Away"
Usually, Emmy/Grammy-winning "JT" brings the house down, but from his "we're JT and the Tennessee Kids" introduction, to the Americana feel of his new single, this performance felt off. The former 'NSyncer sounds as good as he typically does, and his skills on the acoustic guitar only adds to his impressive list of talents; yet, I can't help but be disappointed in the end result, which had me saying, "that's it?"
Grade: B-
Ke$ha & Pitbull - "Timber"
There's nothing particularly special about this performance, though there's nothing particularly awful about it either. Ke$ha and host Pitbull invigorated the crowd, to be sure, but the lack of Ke$ha's signature rap verses and the minimal chemistry between the two made this into a rather forgettable performance.
Grade: B-
Imagine Dragons - "Demons" & "Radioactive"
These alternative rockers have been around for several years, and have only just recently garnered the attention of the nation. Their performances of two of their biggest hits were exciting, to say the least, and the drum transitions from one song to the next only added to the entertainment value.
Grade: B+
Ariana Grande - "Tattooed Heart":
Words can hardly describe how wowed I was by the Nickelodeon star's performance of this ballad from her well-received debut album. This "mini Mimi" -- as I'm calling her -- sounds almost just like Mariah Carey at her peak, and proved she has the same range as the diva in what I believe to be the best performance of the night. If this is what we can expect from the petite baby-faced beauty in the future, then that future is certainly a bright one.
Grade: A+
One Direction - "Story of My Life":
The boy banders looked uber-classy and handsome onstage, and Harry Styles' strong vocals led this performance of their latest single. The other guys/boys didn't quite match Styles' intensity and pitch accuracy, but their harmony is excellent and their overall charm undeniable. They may not have the choreography of 'NSync or the Backstreet Boys, but it's easy to see why so many tweens are falling in love with them.
Grade: B+
Katy Perry - "Unconditionally":
She is known for her theatrical performances, not necessarily in the same way that Lady Gaga is (see above); while her performance of "Roar" on Saturday Night Live several weeks ago related to the theme of the song (i.e. animal-like costumes and scenery), I couldn't wrap my head around the idea behind this one. Isn't "Unconditionally" meant to be an emotional, revealing song? Nothing revealing about this head-scratcher of a performance, accompanied by some off-pitch vocals from the normally stellar pop star.
Grade: C