Quotes from the U. Tampa MFA Residency
7 days down, only 3 more to go, for the University of Tampa MFA in Creative Writing January 2013 residency. And there have been a plethora of funny, or otherwise noteworthy, quotes I couldn't resist writing/typing down. [I often didn't write down who said what]
"We're all nerds here." [about all the writers present]
"Don't congratulate yourself on being morally tortured."
"I don't have an 'I' anything." [in regards to Apple products, like iPhones, iPads, etc.]
"This is my smarty people quote" and "this is my Forrest Gump quote." [Karen Russell, about two different levels of quotes she'd chosen to mention in her seminar]
"I'm so beneath her level of interest." [my MFA mentor, who mentioned the unlikelihood of a certain female celebrity being interested in him]
"Some people want an animated penguin." [Eli Horowitz, in regards to what people what to have in certain apps]
"I mostly think it's stupid."
"I can't make love to plastic."
"I like that power of knowing I'm not gonna get vomit on me." [a fellow student, in reference to a guest speaker's comment about not vomiting on an editor]
"Life is routine until it isn't."
"I hate his guts 'cause he writes so well." [I can relate]
"How do I become a genius?"
"There are people dying, left, right, and center." [Usually people just say "left" and "right," and I thought my mentor's addition of "center" was awesome]
"...if it doesn't, I'll buy you a drink tonight, and then you'll really feel different." [guest lecturer Enid Shomer, about how the collages we would be making would make us feel "different."]
"It was cold to the point where train tracks were levitating off the ground." [My mentor, describing a particular experience of his; on a side note, he tells some of the fascinating stories, and with tremendous wit!]
"We want the sex; we want the elves." [writer/professor Jason Ockert, in the fiction genre seminar]
"...books that say 'fuck you' to genre."
"'I like this book, but I wish it was in Garamond.'" [Eli Horowitz, mentioning what readers would not say about a particular book]
"Usually, when the power’s out like that, it means a squirrel got fried." [MFA program director Jeff Parker, after one of the buildings in which we were supposed to be lost power]
"Nothing punches harder than Anglo-Saxon." [Writer/professor Tony D'Souza, about the effects of using Anglo-Saxon, as opposed to Latin-derived language]
"It’s not an incinerator, for God’s sake." [Tony D'Souza, referring to the "wastebasket" as one of a writer's greatest tools]
"It’s like seeing an alcoholic the morning after seeing him wasted and saying, ‘So, you were pretty drunk last night, huh?’” [Tony D'Souza, in a comparison that escapes my mind]
"It’s not like tennis; there’s no doubles version of this" [Tony D'Souza, referring to writing I think]
"We're all nerds here." [about all the writers present]
"Don't congratulate yourself on being morally tortured."
"I don't have an 'I' anything." [in regards to Apple products, like iPhones, iPads, etc.]
"This is my smarty people quote" and "this is my Forrest Gump quote." [Karen Russell, about two different levels of quotes she'd chosen to mention in her seminar]
"I'm so beneath her level of interest." [my MFA mentor, who mentioned the unlikelihood of a certain female celebrity being interested in him]
"Some people want an animated penguin." [Eli Horowitz, in regards to what people what to have in certain apps]
"I mostly think it's stupid."
"I can't make love to plastic."
"I like that power of knowing I'm not gonna get vomit on me." [a fellow student, in reference to a guest speaker's comment about not vomiting on an editor]
"Life is routine until it isn't."
"I hate his guts 'cause he writes so well." [I can relate]
"How do I become a genius?"
"There are people dying, left, right, and center." [Usually people just say "left" and "right," and I thought my mentor's addition of "center" was awesome]
"...if it doesn't, I'll buy you a drink tonight, and then you'll really feel different." [guest lecturer Enid Shomer, about how the collages we would be making would make us feel "different."]
"It was cold to the point where train tracks were levitating off the ground." [My mentor, describing a particular experience of his; on a side note, he tells some of the fascinating stories, and with tremendous wit!]
"We want the sex; we want the elves." [writer/professor Jason Ockert, in the fiction genre seminar]
"...books that say 'fuck you' to genre."
"'I like this book, but I wish it was in Garamond.'" [Eli Horowitz, mentioning what readers would not say about a particular book]
"Usually, when the power’s out like that, it means a squirrel got fried." [MFA program director Jeff Parker, after one of the buildings in which we were supposed to be lost power]
"Nothing punches harder than Anglo-Saxon." [Writer/professor Tony D'Souza, about the effects of using Anglo-Saxon, as opposed to Latin-derived language]
"It’s not an incinerator, for God’s sake." [Tony D'Souza, referring to the "wastebasket" as one of a writer's greatest tools]
"It’s like seeing an alcoholic the morning after seeing him wasted and saying, ‘So, you were pretty drunk last night, huh?’” [Tony D'Souza, in a comparison that escapes my mind]
"It’s not like tennis; there’s no doubles version of this" [Tony D'Souza, referring to writing I think]