listening....
dear t-
i confuse you. i know i do, because sometimes i say things and then act another way. it is out of fear that i do so--perhaps fear that i am not doing the right thing. i had such a good time this weekend--and i know that scared me---because i did not know where to go next. sometimes when i don't know where to go i get all jumbled and confusing. but this is a little bit of what i want...
i want long conversations about nothing and everything. funny text messages that make me smile. long car drives to close destinations. hugs. trips to new places. da spongebob theme song. emily postcards. the truth. hopes and dreams. diner food. sushi. striped socks. target. knitted leg warmers. movies. singing to crazy ass pop songs. hello kitty. road trips. fall afternoons. beach walks. caring. openess. understanding. forgiveness. imperfection. listening. talking. chicken nuggets. target. smiles. nyc. crazy nuns. laughter. coke. eyes.
i want to grow. to learn. to keep seeing and doing new things. to experience new things. to laugh until my belly hurts. i want to be unafraid, but to know that when i am afraid i will have other's support...
i am touched by your caring and gentle nature. i am scared because i know i am too forceful...that sometimes i want to know too much. i've only asked you about how you are feeling in order to get to know you better. it is only because i care.
i know i am not perfect, tho i do try my hardest. i am honest. i care. i fuck up. when i say to you i would love to be your roomie, i would.
sometimes i think i know you. other times i doubt that i know much of what you are thinking. why would you never go away with me? why did you never even question our breakup to me? why am i not good enough for you? i know i got frustrated when you couldn't say what you meant. sometimes i just wanted to know. a part of me is sad and frustrated because i wanted to do so much for you and with you---and know at that i was not the best.
your friendship means so much to me. but sometimes i don't even know if you want to be my friend. you are one of the closest people to me in my life. you know so much about me...
do you want to talk? do you want to hang out? go to shows?
i don't know what you want. but what you want is what i will honor...
nothing is easy, but i am trying...
xo
r
i confuse you. i know i do, because sometimes i say things and then act another way. it is out of fear that i do so--perhaps fear that i am not doing the right thing. i had such a good time this weekend--and i know that scared me---because i did not know where to go next. sometimes when i don't know where to go i get all jumbled and confusing. but this is a little bit of what i want...
i want long conversations about nothing and everything. funny text messages that make me smile. long car drives to close destinations. hugs. trips to new places. da spongebob theme song. emily postcards. the truth. hopes and dreams. diner food. sushi. striped socks. target. knitted leg warmers. movies. singing to crazy ass pop songs. hello kitty. road trips. fall afternoons. beach walks. caring. openess. understanding. forgiveness. imperfection. listening. talking. chicken nuggets. target. smiles. nyc. crazy nuns. laughter. coke. eyes.
i want to grow. to learn. to keep seeing and doing new things. to experience new things. to laugh until my belly hurts. i want to be unafraid, but to know that when i am afraid i will have other's support...
i am touched by your caring and gentle nature. i am scared because i know i am too forceful...that sometimes i want to know too much. i've only asked you about how you are feeling in order to get to know you better. it is only because i care.
i know i am not perfect, tho i do try my hardest. i am honest. i care. i fuck up. when i say to you i would love to be your roomie, i would.
sometimes i think i know you. other times i doubt that i know much of what you are thinking. why would you never go away with me? why did you never even question our breakup to me? why am i not good enough for you? i know i got frustrated when you couldn't say what you meant. sometimes i just wanted to know. a part of me is sad and frustrated because i wanted to do so much for you and with you---and know at that i was not the best.
your friendship means so much to me. but sometimes i don't even know if you want to be my friend. you are one of the closest people to me in my life. you know so much about me...
do you want to talk? do you want to hang out? go to shows?
i don't know what you want. but what you want is what i will honor...
nothing is easy, but i am trying...
xo
r