Title: Undisclosed Letters
Author:
amusedinredPairing: Belldom
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: 4145
Feedback: Would be amazing. :)
Summary: He'd put all of himself into it. He'd given everything he had. She took everything from him and now he had nothing left.
Disclaimer: I don't own Muse, even though it would be a lot of fun if I did. Not making any money and this is fiction.
Author's Note: This is my first time writing anything like this, so I'm quite nervous about it. Huge thanks to
frisky_biscuit for telling me it wasn't terrible and for making me post it. Haha.
The first thing he noticed was the noise. A wall of sound from all directions. The room spinning. Matthew looked down at the wine glass in his hand, his long thin fingers curled around it and tried to remember how many he'd had. He felt sick. Too many bodies pressing into him. Laughter. He turned around and started to push his way toward the bar. Maybe he needed another drink.
Matthew went to lean against the smooth polished surface, managing to spill what was left in his glass in the process.
"Shit."
He blinked up at bar tender. Just breathe.
"You alright, mate?"
The truth? He wasn't. Somewhere in the back of his mind, the conversation was being played over and over. Stuck on repeat. Hate.
"You have friends here tonight? Do you need a taxi?"
Matthew shook his head and tried to find the words to order another drink. This was another thing. He wasn't usually lost for words. The bar tender placed a glass of water in front of him. Matthew stared at it for a minute as if waiting for it turn into wine. At the realisation that he was in fact waiting for this to occur, he sat down on the bar stool in defeat and gripping the glass tightly, raised it to his lips.
She actually said it. Matthew rubbed his eye with a long finger. He'd put all of himself into it. He'd given everything he had. She took everything from him and now he had nothing left. Now the bitch hates me.
"I'm going to need something stronger than this, yeah?" Matthew said calmly.
The bar tender shrugged, grabbing a small bottle and a shot glass.
"Cheers."
* * *
The sound of shattering glass had been enough to bring him from his daydream. Feeling broken like the pieces of what was once a fruit bowl now strewn across the floor, Matthew gripped his hands tightly together and twisted his fingers with nervousness as he felt the pounding of blood rush to his ears.
She stared at him. He was vulnerable. Exposed. Her eyes piercing through his skin as if she could see right into him. As if she could read his thoughts. Matthew wondered if maybe she could hear his heart beat from her place across the room. It was loud enough in his head to send his thoughts racing. Any moment his heart could explode. Panic.
"I read the letters." Her voice like knives, shaking in anger.
Or was Matthew only imagining it? Was he imagining the way her bottom lip trembled, forehead creasing as her eyes told him of the pain she felt?
"You went through my mail? You... what..."
As it all started to sink in, Matthew's eyes began roaming, searching for the exits.
"You have some explaining to do, Matthew. Actually, no. I don't want to hear it. I don't even want to look at you right now. I just..."
When had the sound of her voice become so painful to hear? When she broke down in tears, Matthew stood there in shock, unsure what to do. I'm not ready for this. Not now. Not yet. She avoided meeting his eyes with hers as she turned and ran. Ran from the room. Ran from him.
The cold steel of inanimate kitchen objects. Silence closing in around him. A reminder of how hopelessly alone he was. Not even a pounding heart beat loud enough to be of any comfort.
* * *
A knot somewhere in the pit of his stomach reminded Matthew that he had an important exam tomorrow. Moments later the pleasant burning in the back of his throat wiped all thoughts of studying from his mind. He simply didn't care anymore. He wanted to forget everything. Forget himself. Do whatever crazy thing he could think of. Anything. What does it matter now anyway?
Something else in the bar drew his attention away from his studies. Glancing up from his empty shot glass, Matthew's mouth fell open slightly as his eyes raked over the leather jacket. The strong arm putting down a beer. The tip of a tongue licking a stray drop from smiling lips.
The blond man turned his head and suddenly Matthew was looking into grey eyes. Suddenly, Matthew was holding his breath. Just breathe. Just breathe, you idiot. A sharp intake of breath and the writing on the bottle in front of him was looking interesting. He could feel the heat of his face.
Dominic continued to stare curiously at the brunet. The laughter around him becoming distant until he was standing there in silence, one arm leaning on the bar. A flash of blue eyes. He walked along the bar toward the other man, feeling more confident when he was rewarded with a shy smile. He'd seen those eyes before.
* * *
Dominic shifted uncomfortably on the stone wall. Trying to concentrate on the novel in his hands, but the cold hard surface was making his arse numb. Shifting again, he glanced up from his book. On the steps of the Science building, a brunet sat strumming away on a guitar. A group of girls standing around watching.
Book forgotten for a moment, Dominic licked his lips. The guitar player's fingers sliding expertly over the strings. A cheeky grin in the direction of the girls watching him. Dark hair fluffed as if he'd just gotten out of bed and left it that way. Pale skin shining slightly with sweat in the sun. Deep blue eyes.
The brunet stopped playing, placed the guitar on the step beside him and stretched his legs out lazily. Keeping himself propped up on his elbows, he glanced over at Dominic, biting his bottom lip.
Dominic felt something stir within him. A small gasp as the brunet raised an eyebrow. Is he looking at me? The blond turned his head to look around. No one was behind him. Turning back to smile at the man on the steps, Dominic felt a twisting in his stomach. Heart sinking. A girl was now sitting next to the man, the brunet with his arm around her. Holding the guitar in front of her. Guiding her hands along the strings.
Dominic didn't need to see anymore. He picked up his book. Face flushed with mild embarrassment at his own open staring and went off in search of a more comfortable place to sit.
* * *
"Hey, I... I'm Dominic. I think I've seen you around the Science building. You... w-what are you studying?"
This was something new. Dominic wasn't usually shy. He has beautiful hands.
"Matthew, um, Matt. Er, just Biomedical Engineering."
"Ah, that sounds really interesting." Dominic grinned.
"I'm er, just focusing more on the chemical side of things. Biochemical, cellular, molecular, um... stuff."
"English," Dominic said. "I mean, I'm studying English, not that I want to you to speak English. I mean I understand what you're saying. I'm studying English like you're studying, what was it? Biomedical Engineering? I get what you meant. Oh my god. Can we start this again?"
The fuck? Dominic fell silent. He wasn't normally like this. He was usually confident and charming. At least that's what he'd been told. He never rambled.
Matthew, however, was feeling a little better. He wasn't the one rambling for once. Shit. The room spinning again.
"Is it alright if I join you?" Dominic asked, trying to regain his usual confidence.
"Er, yeah. Sure."
Matthew blushed when he realised he had been looking at the way Dominic's tight skinny jeans rubbed against the faux leather of the bar stool as he sat down. He gripped his glass, staring at his own whitening knuckles as he tried not to think about how that arse would look sliding against his sheets.
"Is everything alright?" Dominic said, noticing the brunet's shaking hand.
"What? Um, yeah. I think, I think... Yeah, just... girl troubles."
Matthew swallowed. It wasn't a lie. It just felt weird saying it out loud like that.
Dominic reached for the bottle and refilled Matthew's shot glass. "Girls? You have a girlfriend? But I thought..."
"What?" Matthew snapped. "You thought what?"
Matthew hadn't meant for his voice to shake so much. Dominic frowned and lowered his eyes slightly. Matthew felt a strange stabbing in his chest at the change in the blond's face.
"I... I'm sorry," Matthew said quickly. "I think, I think I'm just not myself tonight."
"It's ok," Dominic said, eyes shining as he smiled. A flash of straight white teeth. "We can talk about something else."
"Shit," Matthew said, spilling some of his drink as he knocked the glass clumsily with his long fingers.
Dominic tried to hide his giggling behind his hand. Rather unsuccessfully. Matthew blushed again, his lips curling into a small smile. Those teeth are fucking beautiful.
* * *
"You don't know what you're doing."
"Fuck you, Matthew. I know exactly what I'm doing. And I fucking hate you."
The words stung like a slap in the face. Stunned, Matthew watched as she ran across the street away from him, searching erratically through her handbag for her car keys. Swallowing, he tried to gather his thoughts.
"Wait!"
Matthew followed, car horns beeping loudly as he weaved in and out of traffic.
"Wait! Please! Let me, let me just explain."
She narrowed her eyes as Matthew threw his hands onto the bonnet, panting to catch his breath.
"Yeah?" She bit her lip and looked around as if to make sure no one she knew was within earshot and waited.
"I... I..." Matthew wasn't usually lost for words.
"It's fine, Matthew. You don't have to explain. You don't love me and you never did. I get it. You'll never love me because..." She looked around again and lowered her voice to a whisper, "...you don't like girls."
Fuck it. Matthew was definitely lost for words. She glared at him when he didn't respond.
"It's over."
* * *
He was stumbling out of a taxi, the fresh cold air stinging his eyes as he tried to stay balanced. A strong, confident arm wrapped around him and Matthew was looking up into grey eyes again.
Just don't be sick. Matthew couldn't recall giving his address. But then again, his memory of leaving the bar and the ride home were blurred.
"Do you have the keys?" Dominic asked, his voice deeper than Matthew remembered.
Matthew fumbled in his pocket for his keys and managed to brush against the bulge of his pants in the process. Wait, bulge? His thoughts were suddenly racing, keeping up with the speed of his beating heart. Dominic placed a hand gently over Matthew's and helped him lift the key into the lock.
They stumbled through the doorway. Door slamming shut. Matthew was suddenly pressed, back against the wall, Dominic's face so close to his that even in the darkness he could see the outline of his eyes. The shadows that were his ears. The heat of Dominic's breath on his skin. The tip of Dominic's tongue so light on Matthew's bottom lip that it took a moment for him to feel it. But then he felt a shiver go right through him following the path of his spine.
Before he could think, Dominic's tongue was sliding inside his mouth. He moaned and sucked lightly on it. He hooked his long fingers inside the waistband of Dominic's jeans and pulled downward. Dominic gasped into Matthew's mouth, raising an eyebrow in surprise at the brunet's sudden show of confidence. Matthew continued to pull down roughly until Dominic could step out of his pants. Matthew rising up from the floor almost painfully slow.
"Are you ok with this?" Dominic asked.
Matthew put his mouth against Dominic's ear, sucking the earlobe into his mouth and nibbling.
"Of course I am," he whispered.
A nervous giggle. Am I ok with it? Are you? Dominic smiled and reached underneath Matthew's shirt, running his hands down his back before gripping the material and pulling it off quickly. Matthew tried to do the same to the blond, but almost fell sideways as he was overcome with dizziness. Instead, Dominic let the leather jacket fall from his shoulders to the floor. Matthew reaching almost blindly for the buttons of Dominic's shirt and ripping.
"Easy," Dominic giggled.
Matthew snorted, then suddenly looked horrified. I did not just do that. Dominic appeared not to notice as he pressed his mouth to Matthew's once more and used his arms to pull him away from the wall, walking him toward where he hoped the bedroom was. Dominic bumped his arm against a cupboard and bit down on Matthew's lip in shock. Matthew moaned, the vibration in his mouth shooting to Dominic's cock. Matthew drew the blond closer as he walked backwards to the bedroom door.
They stumbled into that dark room, tripping over obstacles that never seemed to get in the way before. A crash and Dominic could just make out the outline of a guitar now on the floor a short distance from its stand. A periodic table sliding down the wall as he pushed Matthew roughly against it. His mumbled apologies evaporated as the brunet hungrily nibbled on his lip. Dominic's wet tongue filling his mouth and dancing along the roof of it.
They stayed like that for a moment, pressed against the wall. Sweat sticking to the poster. Inhaling the scent of each other. A strange mix of red wine, vodka, beer and sweat. Dominic pulled away, panting heavily, hot breath on Matthew's cheek. A stifled moan as he took in the lust-filled blue eyes before him.
"Matt," he whispered. "Would you rather have me fuck you here against the wall or on the bed?"
Matthew smirked. "Where would you prefer to have me fucked, English boy?"
"Is that how it is, then?" Dominic raised an eyebrow.
"What's the matter? Can't talk dirty?" Matthew giggled. "You don't have to be all proper and shit."
"Shut up."
Dominic placed a palm over the brunet's mouth. Matthew biting down on the skin. Dominic grabbed Matthew's face with both hands, lifting his chin sharply, holding it there until it was just centimetres from his own.
"I'm going to fuck you, but not before you're begging for it," Dominic growled, voice low.
Matthew whimpered, tongue darting out to lick his lips. Slow and deliberate. The fucking tease.
The blond let go of Matthew's face, skirting his fingers down his chest. Fingernails stroking across a nipple. Dominic pressed his lips to Matthew's mouth, swallowing his moan. Flattening the brunet further against the wall, grinding against his cock with his knee. Matthew squirmed beneath him. Eyes half rolling back in his head. Dominic let his hands fall to roughly pull down a zipper, shoving a hand inside the waistband of the brunet's boxers and gripped the hard length tightly. Matthew cried out, barely able to keep his eyes open as his senses were overwhelmed. The heat of Dominic's body pinning him to the wall. The blond's tongue frantically trying to taste the inside of his mouth. His cock pulsing almost painfully in the tightness of his pants and the blond's grasp.
"Just fuck me already," Matthew whined into the warmth of Dominic's mouth.
It was the blond's turn to smirk. "Aren't you a little slut? Not yet."
Matthew shuddered. The blond removed his hand, releasing his hold on him. Looping his fingers around Matthew's thin wrists, Dominic pulled him away from the wall. He stood behind the brunet and quickly pulled his pants and boxers down, exposing his arse to the feel of Dominic's warm breath. A contrast to the cool air hitting Matthew's aching cock. Dominic suddenly pinching the skin between his teeth.
"What? Fuck. Uuuggh..." Matthew's cry became a moan as Dominic traced his tongue lightly over the red mark, reaching a hand around to gently stroke along his shaft.
Matthew barely remembering to breathe.
"Go lie on the bed," Dominic whispered, voice breaking slightly as he tried to stay in control, his own cock throbbing between his thighs.
A wet patch of precome on his boxers.
Matthew turned his head. "You look good on your knees."
The blond's head snapped up. Breath catching in his lungs as he looked into desperate eyes.
"Just do as I fucking say."
The brunet shivered and walked over to the bed. Falling onto his back, he kicked his legs out playfully.
"This is fun."
"Shut up, Matt. You're ruining the mood."
"Says you. Hurry the fuck up."
Dominic bit his lip as he stared at the brunet lying naked on the bed. Chest rising and falling rapidly. Fluffed hair now damp with sweat. He pushed himself up off the floor and calmly made his way to the bed. Slowly crawling onto it beside Matthew, despite everything within screaming at him to just fuck him hard and fast right then.
Matthew grabbed his shoulders and pulled him down into a deep kiss. The blond sucked and nibbled on his neck, searching for the pulse point with his tongue. Sitting up to run his fingers over the brunet's chest. Pinching and twisting his nipples. Matthew arched his back, hissing.
"Please, Dom. I can't. Just... uughhh."
Dominic moved his hands to gently stroke along Matthew's thighs, fascinated with the way his nails could create red streaks if he applied the right amount of pressure. Matthew bucked his hips, searching desperately for any part of Dominic he could make contact with. He pulled the blond down on top of him. Running the long fingers of one hand through his hair. Licking along the ridge of his ear. The other hand reached down to pull at Dominic's boxers.
"Want you naked," Matthew panted into the blond's ear before biting it.
Dominic grabbed Matthew's hands, pinning them up over his head. Matthew kicked out with his legs, fighting him off. They tumbled off the edge of the bed, hardly noticing the thud as they hit the floor. Matthew using the momentary confusion to tear at Dominic's boxers until the blond resigned himself to just pulling them off himself.
Then they were lying there. Hot, sweating skin on skin. Breathing loud and heavy in the silence. Both moaning when Dominic shifted, their cocks rubbing together. Dominic dug his nails into Matthew's nipples, trying to stay focused while his mind became a mess of lust and pleasure. Matthew groaned and writhed below him, pulling him back to the present moment and what he really wanted. He wanted to watch the brunet squirm and beg.
Dominic slid down until he was perched on his elbows, face above Matthew's stiff length. Fingertips lightly touching a patch of fuzzy hair. The brunet's mouth falling open, eyes wide as he blew warm air on the head. The tip of his tongue extending to tease the slit, before taking the whole cock into his tight, wet mouth.
"Oh my fucking god. Hnnggg," Matthew moaned, throwing his head back.
The blond sucked hard, swirling his tongue around the head before flattening it under the base of Matthew's cock and relaxing his throat to take it deeper. He hummed, the vibrations sending the brunet babbling uncontrollably. His moans growing louder. Matthew pinching his own nipples, as his head fell back onto the carpet. Lifting his hips to fuck Dominic's face.
Dominic let the cock slip out of his mouth, Matthew whining at the sudden loss of warmth and wetness.
"Please, please, Dom. Fuck me. Just do it already. I'm yours. I need you in me right now."
"You're fucking filthy, Matt," Dominic said as he grabbed Matthew's hips and twisted roughly. "Turn over."
Dominic stuck two fingers in Matthew's mouth, the brunet sucking on them and whimpering as the blond moaned, the hardness of his cock pressing against the back of Matthew's thigh. He pulled his fingers out and bringing them down to carefully spread Matthew's arse cheeks, he let a finger hover over the opening. He felt Matthew's body clench suddenly beneath him.
"Ok, Matt. Have you done this before?" Dominic whispered, running his other hand down the brunet's back.
"No. Don't care. Just fucking do it."
"Ok... relax."
Dominic laid on top of Matthew and slowed his breathing. The brunet relaxing as the pace of his own breathing calmed slightly to match the blond. Dominic licked behind Matthew's ear and wrapping an arm around him firmly, slowly inserted a finger into his hole. Matthew gasped and tried to wriggle free, but Dominic held him still.
"Shhh," Dominic soothed as he added a second finger, a hand underneath Matthew's chest, moving slowly down to wrap around Matthew's cock.
A third finger. Matthew cried out as Dominic scissored his fingers, stretching him. He pulled a pillow that had fallen from the bed toward him and bit down on it. His muffled screams becoming moans of pleasure as Dominic began to finger him, hitting the right spot.
"Oh my god."
Pillow falling from Matthew's mouth as he arched his back and then bucked his hips up to meet Dominic's fingers before thrusting back down to grind into the blond's hand. Dominic, no longer able to ignore the aching of his own swollen cock, removed the fingers, stood and quickly grabbed the lube from the cupboard, squirting it into his hand. He slicked up the throbbing length. Eyes fluttering shut for a moment as he rubbed and twisted his wrist.
Opening his eyes to stare down at Matthew, lying there, arse in the air. Shivering as he waited. Beads of sweat rolling down his sides, following the outline of his ribs. So beautiful. Dominic got down on his knees and swung a leg over the brunet. Nudging his opening with the head of his cock.
"Are you really sure you want this?"
"Fucking hell, Dom. Just fucking do it already!"
Dominic slipped inside, hissing as the tight heat became burning pleasure. Matthew whimpered at the pain of being stretched, but then Dominic was holding him. The heat of his body surrounding him. Thrusting until he was hitting that perfect spot that sent Matthew's mind spinning. The brunet bucking his hips wildly and crying out.
"Uuughhh, Matt. Feels good. So good," Dominic gasped.
Dominic gripped Matthew's cock firmly, pumping with his hand in time with his thrusts. The brunet a quivering mess of moans and filthy mumbling. Dominic was rocking back and forth, biting the skin on the back of Matthew's neck. Panting harder.
"Gonna come," Matthew whined into the pillow.
"Not yet," Dominic growled, giving the brunet's cock a squeeze at the base and holding it tight.
"Please. Need to come."
A final thrust and hot liquid was filling Matthew. Dominic tugged on Matthew's cock. Matthew spilling come into the blond's hand. Both bodies shaking violently as they rode out their orgasms.
Dominic rolled off the brunet and reached an arm up to lazily pull the blankets down off the bed on top of them. He put his arms around Matthew and pulling so that the brunet's back was lying against his chest, held him close.
* * *
The light was painful on Matthew's eyes as he opened them a crack, peeking out from under the warm blankets. Dominic stirred, smiling when he saw the brunet next to him. He stretched an arm lazily, brushing the tips of his fingers on something under the bed. Curling them around several sheets of crumpled paper. He pulled them out and held them up to get a better look.
"What are you doing?" Matthew sat up, trying to snatch the papers from Dominic's hands. "Those are private."
Dominic grinned. "I already know what they say. I wrote them."
"You... You're Drummer Boy?"
"I was going to tell you that it was me that wrote the letters. That I wasn't just some stranger," Dominic lowered his eyes. "That I know you. I know you questioned your sexuality. You feel pushed into studying science when all you really want to do is be a musician. That..."
Matthew pulled away suddenly. Fear. Panic. But then he felt something else when he looked into those grey eyes.
"I'm sorry," Dominic was pleading. "We were drunk and I shouldn't have taken advantage. I just wanted you to be comfortable with who you are. I am."
"It's ok." Matthew said, shaking off the sleepiness. "I wanted it. I want you. To see you again, I mean."
A moment of silence. Each looking at the other as if they had known each other forever. Dominic jumped when he heard a shuffling of pots and pans from somewhere else in the house.
"That's just the people I live with. Don't worry about it," Matthew giggled.
"But... are my clothes still in the hallway?"
"Oh shit."
Matthew glanced at the clock. Feeling sick. He had an important exam in half an hour.