on the heal
My surgery went fine, I've been in my house for a week and I think I am finally, officially, insane. I wasn't allowed to drive or leave the house, and hernia surgery doesn't leave you with much desire to even sit up. To those of you that did take the time to come by and entertain me, thank you very very much. It meant a lot to have the little bit of company that I did. Being by yourself doped up on Vicadin gives you a lot of time to think about things. And eventually after you're done thinking about happy things and day 5 passes and nothing is different but the cup you're drinking water out of, the positives melt away and you find yourself crying, watching poker on ESPN at 3AM wondering how the hell you wound up so alone.
But that is the kind of thinking that opens the trap door to a downward spiral of depression. Now is not the time for that. Apparently while I was healing, summer came. Now is the time to get back in the world and do things that make you happy, like get in shape, wait for your boyfriend to come home, go canoeing, and welcome your roommate back from Iraq, which is only 90 days away.
It takes an awful lot of energy to be happy.
But that is the kind of thinking that opens the trap door to a downward spiral of depression. Now is not the time for that. Apparently while I was healing, summer came. Now is the time to get back in the world and do things that make you happy, like get in shape, wait for your boyfriend to come home, go canoeing, and welcome your roommate back from Iraq, which is only 90 days away.
It takes an awful lot of energy to be happy.