masochistly numbing, "isn't it pretty to think so?"
"well that's the spirit of christmas."
"what is?"
"mysterious txt message that lets you know there's less hate in your life."
i listened to the song i can't bear to listen to anymore the other night. masochist is the word, apparently. and i cried, not necessarily because i was sad, but because i figured it would help this process along. it takes me forever and a fucking day to get over shit. it really does. something about me just doesn't let things go easily, even when they were my choice. even when i'm aware it was the right choice and i wouldn't choose differently. i wonder how i'd handle death.
for the first time, i'm making a new years resolution this year. a real one. none of that 'i have to eat healthier, exercise more (or at all)' because i never keep those. i merely make those because i figure, if i make the statement, perhaps it will give me the motivation to follow through, of course that never works out. but this year. this time.
(on these course of events, and others like it, my emotional capacity is done). at least for 2009.
anyway.
whatever your intent was, i don't really know. but on my side of the line, i'm saying thank you, whatever that's worth.
"what is?"
"mysterious txt message that lets you know there's less hate in your life."
i listened to the song i can't bear to listen to anymore the other night. masochist is the word, apparently. and i cried, not necessarily because i was sad, but because i figured it would help this process along. it takes me forever and a fucking day to get over shit. it really does. something about me just doesn't let things go easily, even when they were my choice. even when i'm aware it was the right choice and i wouldn't choose differently. i wonder how i'd handle death.
for the first time, i'm making a new years resolution this year. a real one. none of that 'i have to eat healthier, exercise more (or at all)' because i never keep those. i merely make those because i figure, if i make the statement, perhaps it will give me the motivation to follow through, of course that never works out. but this year. this time.
(on these course of events, and others like it, my emotional capacity is done). at least for 2009.
anyway.
whatever your intent was, i don't really know. but on my side of the line, i'm saying thank you, whatever that's worth.