(Untitled)

[autophoenix]

Tifa missed the awkward sex meme. She's posting her people here and you'd better thread with her X

Comments

[autophoenix]

3/5

[illjustdieagain]

[Nathan is moseying down to third base when he takes a minute to look around Claire's room and wonder ...]

What the fuck is it with you and all the teddy bears?

[autophoenix]

Shut up! My mom is gonna hear you. [ There's a whiny noise as her hips squirm underneath him, trying to remind him that hey! Nubile young cheerleader! Waiting for third base, right here. But, no. He's focused on teddy bears. She props herself up on her elbows and gives him a narrow look as she answers in a hushed voice. ] They're from my dad.

[illjustdieagain]

[IKR IT'S LIKE HIS DREAM COME TRUE BUT ....... ] I feel like there's a whole furry audience watchin' me. Don't you have a blanket you can drape over that shit or something?

[autophoenix]

... You're seriously making this big of a deal about a couple of teddy bears. I thought you'd done this, like, a million times. Why do stuffed animals incite performance anxiety?

[illjustdieagain]

There's something about their beady little eyes! ... And it's not performance anxiety!

[autophoenix]

Then, what would you call it? You're not performing. Because beady plushie-eyes are "watching you." [ She's sitting up more now, folding her arms over her chest. ] And meanwhile, I get to just sit here in my underwear, waiting for you to suck it up.

[illjustdieagain]

[He tries to ... gently push her back down on the bed.] Now now, love. Come on. I'll try again! Onlooking teddy bear perverts and all.

[autophoenix]

I don't know, Nathan, I'm not really -- [ She shrugs, but settles back down to a laying position anyway, frowning. ] You don't feel like the moment's kinda ... gone?

[illjustdieagain]

No? No! We've got all kinds of moments! This was supposed to be an entire night of moments! [HE WAS SO CLOSE TO SCORING WHY DOES THIS SHIT ALWAYS HAPPEN TO HIM.]

[autophoenix]

The moments weren't supposed to be interrupted by your fear of teddy bear voyeurs. [ Still, she gets more snug beneath him, sighing. ] I mean, I guess we can try. I just don't know if I'm feeling it anymore.

[illjustdieagain]

I'm not afraid of a teddy bear. Just let me ...

[He slides down until his face is hovering over Claire's lady parts, ready to do the deed ... and then no. He sits up again.]

No, no, you're right. I'm not feeling it either. ... What are we supposed to do now?

[autophoenix]

[ She frowns and props herself up on her elbows again, looking thoughtful. ] ... I have some Disney movies?

[illjustdieagain]

Oh, yeah, Disney movies. That'll get us right back in the zone, won't it?

[autophoenix]

You didn't specify that it had to be something to do that would get us back in the moment! [ She's indignant at that. Just a little. ] You're supposed to be the expert, you ... figure something out. Sorry my DVD collection doesn't include porn.

[illjustdieagain]

[siiiigh. he leans back in the bed to consider his options. ] ... What about the Little Mermaid? She's a right saucy little tart.