HILARIOUS SHIT TALES FROM ADAM22'S MIND
yesterday someone on bmxboard made a post saying "remember that time that Grammy ( me ) made a post about fingering his own ass and asked if anyone else did it?"
which is true, i made a post on bmxboard like 5 or 6 years ago asking that question and everyone flipped out and called me gay. which is true, i am gay, but regardless of all that apparently everyone on there still remembers it.
so someone bringing that story up led to me telling some of the funnier shit stories of my life:
i once thought i had really bad diaheria when i was in 7th grade so i figured that i could take a diaheria shit and it would go right down the drain in the toilet.
obviously that did not happen and a solid log came out which i then had to pick up and put in the toilet.
pretty much the same thing happened to my friend jared once except he knew that it was going to be a log and left it there. his dad found it and flipped out and said he was going to send him to a psychologist. what was even weirder was after he shit in the shower he went upstairs and watched some bike videos with our friend chris and didn't even bother to tell him that he just pooped in the shower.
i also once had a girlfriend who was taking a shit and it didn't feel like it was going to keep coming out so she reached down and pulled the turd out of her butt.
*censored*
oh and earlier this year my asian room mate woke up in the middle of the night and went to the bathroom then went back to bed. i didn't think much of it til i woke up in the morning and there was shit on the toilet seat. kid took a shit in his sleep and missed the bowl.
when i was in 9th grade and had just started to go riding with "the cool kids" ( kids i'm friends with now who i didn't really know at the time, i just knew they were a lot better than me, we went to KFC and got free food from some girl who we used to know who worked there and a few minutes after we got the food, my friend mikey climbed a tree and dropped a massive shit from a tree for no reason. it landed right near me and made a loud thud.
on the first ever since the flood tour we were all walking around a mall in upstate new york and we found a shoe box. i took the shoebox in the bathroom and took a shit in it. luke, the drummer was planning on bringing the box back out there and leaving it in the foot locker but it became crushed and wet from the piss that came out so we just left it in the bathroom.
one time i went on a road trip with a couple guys and my friend tardif was too scared to take a shit in the girl we were staying with's house so he left the house at 5 am and rode his bike to a school yard where he climbed 2 massive fences, took a shit in the woods, then climbed the fences again to get back to her house. then he realized he still had to shit so he climbed the fences again and pooped again, this time wiping with a leaf.
my friend cory believes that he can tell by the feeling of a shit when it comes out wether he has to wipe or not. he considers wiping a luxury.
MORE TO COME.
which is true, i made a post on bmxboard like 5 or 6 years ago asking that question and everyone flipped out and called me gay. which is true, i am gay, but regardless of all that apparently everyone on there still remembers it.
so someone bringing that story up led to me telling some of the funnier shit stories of my life:
i once thought i had really bad diaheria when i was in 7th grade so i figured that i could take a diaheria shit and it would go right down the drain in the toilet.
obviously that did not happen and a solid log came out which i then had to pick up and put in the toilet.
pretty much the same thing happened to my friend jared once except he knew that it was going to be a log and left it there. his dad found it and flipped out and said he was going to send him to a psychologist. what was even weirder was after he shit in the shower he went upstairs and watched some bike videos with our friend chris and didn't even bother to tell him that he just pooped in the shower.
i also once had a girlfriend who was taking a shit and it didn't feel like it was going to keep coming out so she reached down and pulled the turd out of her butt.
*censored*
oh and earlier this year my asian room mate woke up in the middle of the night and went to the bathroom then went back to bed. i didn't think much of it til i woke up in the morning and there was shit on the toilet seat. kid took a shit in his sleep and missed the bowl.
when i was in 9th grade and had just started to go riding with "the cool kids" ( kids i'm friends with now who i didn't really know at the time, i just knew they were a lot better than me, we went to KFC and got free food from some girl who we used to know who worked there and a few minutes after we got the food, my friend mikey climbed a tree and dropped a massive shit from a tree for no reason. it landed right near me and made a loud thud.
on the first ever since the flood tour we were all walking around a mall in upstate new york and we found a shoe box. i took the shoebox in the bathroom and took a shit in it. luke, the drummer was planning on bringing the box back out there and leaving it in the foot locker but it became crushed and wet from the piss that came out so we just left it in the bathroom.
one time i went on a road trip with a couple guys and my friend tardif was too scared to take a shit in the girl we were staying with's house so he left the house at 5 am and rode his bike to a school yard where he climbed 2 massive fences, took a shit in the woods, then climbed the fences again to get back to her house. then he realized he still had to shit so he climbed the fences again and pooped again, this time wiping with a leaf.
my friend cory believes that he can tell by the feeling of a shit when it comes out wether he has to wipe or not. he considers wiping a luxury.
MORE TO COME.