(no subject)
I found out about an hour ago that my grandfather has had 2 strokes in the past 3 days. One on Wednesday, one Thursday. He also has a brain tumor. He's not old by any means, only 65. He's currently at Duke University's hospital. Apparently he knows the head of the hospital so they're treating him amazingly well. I cried when Mom told me, my grandpa is one of the most important influences in my life. I don't know what to do. I want to take off work & just go see him. They won't know until Monday if the tumor is cancerous, that's when they're running the tests. I started yelling that they need to do the tests now, Mom told me they were trying to get the best doctors in. So, basically my Grandpa could be dying slowly, but you want to wait to make sure that you can get someone in who can tell you the same fucking thing Doogie Howser could? I've been shaking... I hate being this far away & feeling so helpless. He can talk & all of that, but what if something else happens? What if the next time the stroke kills him? I know I can sit here all night & play "What if" and it's not healthy. I just don't know what to do. I'm sobbing again, I don't want him to die. I don't want to sit here & get all my hopes up that everything's going to be ok. I know that's a shitty way of looking at things, but it's just kinda how I am. I gotta go, I'm crying too hard to do this right now.