In the Army
The first six weeks in Specnaz they usually try to beat the shit out of you. In such situations you have two options - to become a speechless and obedient animal or fight back, taking the risk of being beaten to death.
It took three weeks for me to start fighting back. At that time I was already very close to the animal position.
It happened in our division canteen. I was responsible for bread cutting. And that evening instead of bread I cut my sergeant and two other soldiers. Then I opened the veins on my left hand and painted the cook’s face with my blood. The poor fellow fainted.
The division commander visited me in hospital and said, “You know that you have committed a severe crime? An attempt to murder three people gets you at least 5 years. The sergeant has a big scar on his face. Private Gnatyuk has lost his left testicle. Are you, soldier, ready to go to jail?” I said nothing and turned my face to the dirty hospital wallpaper. There were no kitchen knives around and the colonel was so fat that if I stabbed him in his belly he probably wouldn’t notice.
Having no answer from me the colonel coughed couple of times and extruded the following from underneath his bushy mustache: “OK. Let’s say nothing happened. The sergeant told me that you were brave. And all this mess was not your fault”.
In a moment he left. I felt pain in my neatly sewn wrist and for the first time I thought, “Perhaps becoming an animal was the better choice”.