Keep on keepin' on
You win some, you lose some. That's all there is to it. You admit wrongdoing, apologize, cry about it for 2 seconds or however long it takes to get over...and then rightly do just so. I cannot be made to feel anything. What I do feel is valid, and should be observed as such. However, there is no reason to dwell on the negatives. As humans we remember too much of this..and not more of the positive in life as perhaps we 'should'.
The past two months of my 'summer break' have been a jolting experience to say the least. I rekindled a few friendships I thought were lost, I dismembered a few as well. I am no less depressed than I was in April, but perhaps a little stronger in will. A little less transparent to myself in my shortcomings...I no longer make a very good friend to most people. I socially isolate when it's convenient, which renders a cell phone nearly useless except for typing. I work until 6 pm and use it as an excuse not to hang out on week nights. I spend an exceptional amount of time staring out windows instead of getting up and getting into the picture. I talk to myself in my head doubly or thrice as much as I say out loud...and I still mumble sometimes.
So please, if there's one thing I can advertise to you today, through my livejournal, it is to PLEASE be unforgiving; do not take my shit and accept an apology later. Do not present yourself as a human being capable of love and forgiveness. We're both better off.
My friend Tom was perhaps right in saying that I am too much of an optimist..that perhaps I put too much faith in humanity...a point underlined tonight by Bri whilst sitting in a drive thru waiting to order my ice cream cone. I'm the kind of person that doesn't care if you hear me commenting on your slow-as-molasses-uphill service...but also the kind that forgets people can taint your food if you insult their service...So I took his advice and drove away...cause I am the kind of person that runs my mouth and then forgets I'm asking for it.
I wouldn't say that just because I've finished school I'm living the good life. I also wouldn't say that finishing college with high honors has made me feel any more intelligent than I felt in junior high. I believe in the multiple intelligences...and after concentrating hard on my strengths, I've in turn been able to recognize my weaknesses in wise mind and intellect.
I'm not perfect. Not even close. I'm no smarter than you. I have no superiority complex...nor one of inferiority. I am your equal. The playing field was always equal, even when you were on the higher step. My feelings are valid and of my own accord. What I can do to help myself is to assert my feelings in order to protect myself from the negativity others try to excrete on my life. The equation is simple...numb the feelings, then they will remain and fester. Recognize and assert, they will pass in time...with or without a good cry :)
This little PSA post was brought to by ScatterbrainedWithoutEditing.journal.com ....in conjunction with Cheap Tofu Inc.
The past two months of my 'summer break' have been a jolting experience to say the least. I rekindled a few friendships I thought were lost, I dismembered a few as well. I am no less depressed than I was in April, but perhaps a little stronger in will. A little less transparent to myself in my shortcomings...I no longer make a very good friend to most people. I socially isolate when it's convenient, which renders a cell phone nearly useless except for typing. I work until 6 pm and use it as an excuse not to hang out on week nights. I spend an exceptional amount of time staring out windows instead of getting up and getting into the picture. I talk to myself in my head doubly or thrice as much as I say out loud...and I still mumble sometimes.
So please, if there's one thing I can advertise to you today, through my livejournal, it is to PLEASE be unforgiving; do not take my shit and accept an apology later. Do not present yourself as a human being capable of love and forgiveness. We're both better off.
My friend Tom was perhaps right in saying that I am too much of an optimist..that perhaps I put too much faith in humanity...a point underlined tonight by Bri whilst sitting in a drive thru waiting to order my ice cream cone. I'm the kind of person that doesn't care if you hear me commenting on your slow-as-molasses-uphill service...but also the kind that forgets people can taint your food if you insult their service...So I took his advice and drove away...cause I am the kind of person that runs my mouth and then forgets I'm asking for it.
I wouldn't say that just because I've finished school I'm living the good life. I also wouldn't say that finishing college with high honors has made me feel any more intelligent than I felt in junior high. I believe in the multiple intelligences...and after concentrating hard on my strengths, I've in turn been able to recognize my weaknesses in wise mind and intellect.
I'm not perfect. Not even close. I'm no smarter than you. I have no superiority complex...nor one of inferiority. I am your equal. The playing field was always equal, even when you were on the higher step. My feelings are valid and of my own accord. What I can do to help myself is to assert my feelings in order to protect myself from the negativity others try to excrete on my life. The equation is simple...numb the feelings, then they will remain and fester. Recognize and assert, they will pass in time...with or without a good cry :)
This little PSA post was brought to by ScatterbrainedWithoutEditing.journal.com ....in conjunction with Cheap Tofu Inc.